Posted on 02/01/2013 6:44:28 PM PST by lbryce
n what appears to be a slap in the face for gender equality, the report found the divorce rate among couples who shared housework equally was around 50 per cent higher than among those where the woman did most of the work.
“What we’ve seen is that sharing equal responsibility for work in the home doesn’t necessarily contribute to contentment,” said Thomas Hansen, co-author of the study entitled “Equality in the Home”.
The lack of correlation between equality at home and quality of life was surprising, the researcher said.
“One would think that break-ups would occur more often in families with less equality at home, but our statistics show the opposite,” he said.
The figures clearly show that “the more a man does in the home, the higher the divorce rate,” he went on.
The reasons, Mr Hansen said, lay only partially with the chores themselves.
“Maybe it’s sometimes seen as a good thing to have very clear roles with lots of clarity ... where one person is not stepping on the other’s toes,” he suggested.
“There could be less quarrels, since you can easily get into squabbles if both have the same roles and one has the feeling that the other is not pulling his or her own weight.”
But the deeper reasons for the higher divorce rate, he suggested, came from the values of “modern” couples rather than the chores they shared.
“Modern couples are just that, both in the way they divide up the chores and in their perception of marriage” as being less sacred, Mr Hansen said. “In these modern couples, women also have a high level of education and a well-paid job, which makes them less dependent on their spouse financially.
(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...
Are you sure you are not my wife? lol She is the same as you.
The "demands" are indicative of the attitude. The proper attitude for two people who are married should be that they willingly "pour themselves out" for each other. Marriage is NOT a 50-50 proposition; it is 100-100. Demands for splitting the housework is a symptom that one or both are not willing to give themselves over to each other to make the marriage successful.
I don’t believe this. FrogDad and I talk while doing dishes and hurry through other chores so we can watch a video together. Neither of us is comfortable sitting while the other works.
It’s been that way all through our marriage when we’ve both worked outside the house.
And that’s 43 years, tomorrow.
It’s pretty much worked for me and hubby—he’s always helped out at home—both in helping with our 5 kids when they were little, and in giving me a hand with the housework.
But whadda I know—it’s only lasted for 51 years and counting!
I am sure the muslim couples in england are less likely to share housework and less likely to divorce.
TheWriterTX: “Men are very easy creatures to please, in all honesty. Cook for them, make love to them, give them a little time everyday to relax and unwind, and they are happy to do whatever you ask. Not complicated.”
That really is pretty much it. It comes down to three things: food, fun (sex), and football (time to sit back, relax, and escape from the world for a bit).
Agreed. I think another aspect to this too is that if a husband is splitting the chores, it is likely the wife has an equally demanding job and pay which can make exiting the marriage a mich more viable scenario.
I really think a clear division of labor works best. We’ve avoided arguments by not intruding into the other’s areas of responsibility. We might take on some additional tasks if the other is sick, but we normally stick to our own things. I think that works because we don’t tell each other what to do. If we have different standards of how we do things, for example, we avoid conflict by letting each person run their areas by their own standards.
That said, I really think couples should do whatever works for them, keeping in mind that divorce is a sin. It’s wrong. Stay together, find what works, and make it last. Divorce isn’t always unavoidable, especially when one spouse is unwilling to work for the marriage or unfaithful (although many marriages have survived that sin, too). It doesn’t matter what other people think, so long as a couple figures out what works for them and sticks to it. Result: a better world for all of us.
The study only showed the divorce rate is much higher for couples where the housework is shared. That doesn’t mean there aren’t many successful marriages like your own.
I think part of the problem is people want to judge other marriages by their own standards. I know of marriages where the man is a total wimp. I mean, the guys are bossed constantly. That disgusts me, but some of those marriages have lasted as long as mine.
I also know marriages where the man does nothing, not even working on cars or doing the lawn. Those marriages also upset me. I wonder, “How can she put up with such a scumbag?” Nevertheless, some of those marriages have also endured for decades, and the couples seem happy with it.
Whatever works is best, and it’s really no one else’s business but your own.
BS.
Life is pretty happy in our house for the sharring.
I buy the groceries, she cooks, I clean the dishes. seems fair to me and I don’t have to eat Top Ramen very often....even though I like it.
Still, when it comes to cleaning the house we often break it up into our respective AoR’s.
No one cleans my office but me or does my laundry. Can’t stand people in my stuff.
For her AO the house cleaner does all that and the common areas.
Works for us. Cept when she tries to drag me into reorganizing her stoopit closet. 400 sq feet of nightmare that makes no sense, as opposed to my closets where everything is ordered for casual, dress and don’t give a Shiite. Hell, I got numbers on blue socks and black socks so I can take them out of the laundry and pair them back up. Even then, black socks are in one drawer and blue in another.
The more than 200 pair of shoes are in their boxes with pics on the front so I can find what I’m looking for.
I must have a gay gene....NOT....Evuh.
Love hips, lips and t**s....
My thing.
I tell you I’ve had an interesting experience this last year.
I tore my rotation cuff sumpin ugly and haven’t had to do much I. The way of dishes this past six months.
Annoying as he’ll, as I like doing the dishes and keeping the kitchen clean to my standard.
As it is, I’m probably going to have to spend a grand on New bowls for the burners. They haven’t been kept clean the way I like and Viking ain’t cheap.
Damn bowels and burner plates ain’t in in good shape.
Sure enough, I’ll replace them and learn we are moving.
Hope not. luv this home and would rather redo to whole kitchen.
There goes 60 large....or more.
I’ll have to tell my bride of 48 years that we are headed for divorce. We’ve ALWAYS shared the workload. Of course, in raising nine kids, EVERYBODY shares the workload.
What have you had to do to try to heal it?
None taken.These studies usually prove what the person doing the study believes.So many variables to the breakdown of a marriage to simplify it to housework.
“Damn bowels and burner plates ain’t in in good shape.”
You should go see a gastrointestinal specialist.
Had surgery 5 months ago. just takes time.
"I want a beer, and I want to see sumthin' naked." - Jeff Foxworthy
How about this. Marriages with beta male liberals are more likely to share housework (just guessing), and all liberals are likely to value personal fulfillment over commitment. Women married to liberal beta males are more likely to end up discontented AND philosophically inclined to leave if discontented.
Or, there’s always someone who loves the more in a relationship, and if it is the man, he is likely to do housework in an attempt to placate his wife who is the less enamored. Ultimately, that dynamic may wear on both of them.
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