Posted on 12/26/2012 7:57:58 AM PST by Kaslin
Dear Dave,
I’m trying to help my son and daughter-in-law by encouraging them to get out of debt and live on a budget. It hasn’t been a problem to give them money when they’ve asked in the past, but I’m afraid they’re still in a mess. How can I make sure I’m doing the right thing?
Margaret
Dear Margaret,
The first thing you need to do is sit down and have a serious, loving talk with them. If they’ve asked for money before, and it has become something of a trend, you have a right to know more about their circumstances. In addition, they need to understand that opening up and being honest about their situation and behavior is a requirement for them to receive more of your help.
I know you guys love each other, but be prepared for them to get defensive. Lots of times people are embarrassed to talk about their mistakes, no matter how nicely you approach things. They may decide not to answer any questions and that it’s none of your business. That’s fine, too. Just make sure they understand Mom won’t open her checkbook unless they open up about their finances.
This isn’t about you being nosy or controlling. It’s about making sure you’re not giving a drunk a drink and further enabling any misbehavior. Then, if they’re willing to talk, and as a result, you feel they truly need help, make sure any money you give them is a gift, not a loan.
I know it hurts to see them go through rough times, Margaret. But if they’re acting irresponsibly with money, they need to suffer the consequences of their actions. That, along with your love and advice, can help them turn the corner and win with money!
—Dave
Dear Dave,
I have one bill left from an emergency room visit earlier this year, and I’m trying to settle with a collections agency. They’re willing to accept half of the $930 owed, but they want me to pay online or by phone, and I don’t feel safe doing that. What should I do?
Allison
Dear Allison,
If they’re willing to lower the bill by half, then you need to get that in writing. If you don’t have it in writing, you don’t have a deal. And whatever you do, don’t give them any form of electronic access to your money. I’ve seen too many collectors lie to people about “agreements,” then go in and raid their accounts.
Just tell them to send you, by email or regular letter, a statement saying that $465 will be accepted as payment in full for the debt. Also, tell them you’ll turn around the day you receive this letter and send them a cashier’s check for that amount. Until then, they can go jump in the lake!
—Dave
* Dave Ramsey is America’s trusted voice on money and business. He’s authored four New York Times best-selling books: Financial Peace, More Than Enough, The Total Money Makeover and EntreLeadership. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 5 million listeners each week on more than 500 radio stations. Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramsey.com.
I got a call from a collector one evening asking if I was ‘so and so’. I said what’s this about? He said it was about an unpaid AT&T bill...
I frigging blew up! I yelled “Nuh uh! I don’t owe AT&T squat!”
[There are three people with my name in Atlanta area: they are a couple of losers, apparently] He asked me for my SS number because he might have the wrong person. I frigging blew up again” “You mean you called to hassle someone and you’re not sure if you got the right person?” “And you want my SS number? Well F@ck You!”
“Well, gimme the last four” “Do you think I’m stupid? Don’t call me again! Or I’ll report you under the FCRA.
He finally asked me if I was born in 197X....I said no. He said I have the wrong person....Sorry..... “I said, you’d better be.”
My father died this past August after a long battle with diabetes, emphyzema, and Alzheimers. I thought he had enough life insurance to cover end of life contingencies, as he had specific insurance for his credit card and a plan from his employer.
Turns out the credit card was sold THREE times and BofA cannot find any record of the insurance, and the employer’s life insurance was for $9,000 and not for $45,000, as was thought.
So, Dad owed $17,000 on a VISA card. I went to BofA with his death certificate and told them I had Power of Attorney and would be handling closure of his estate.
Bank of America changed the name on the credit account to my name and I’ve been hounded by collectors since October. The lawyer handling the estate has not returned my phone calls, and I suspect that what BofA did was illegal.
I’m running out of money and have been trying, unsuccessfully for two years, to get a job.
Anybody have any suggestions?
Sounds like a scammer.
I do not want to sound uncaring, but for the life of me, I do not understand why anyone does business with BofA
Never, ever tell anyone over the phone “you have the right person”....never, ever tell anyone your date of birth or social security number. Never, ever admit to anything over the phone. Attack! Be beligerant if you have to. Nasty if you want to.
Good on you. It also helps not to answer calls from numbers that you don’t recognize
If there is a probate judge involved in the disperal of the assets then the creditor can petition the court for payment as an unsecured debt.
Secured debt, such as a car loan or mortgage is a bit different. If you inherited an asset that was used as security for a loan (car, house, boat) then you must continue to pay it off or risk re-possession.
Thanks, I’m just a too-cheap of an ole bastardo to pay for the caller ID thingy, though....
I recently did some work for BofA in Charlotte right at headquarters where the boss walked past every day
I would not give BofA a cent of my money
The original VISA credit card was with a credit union, then they changed their name and sold the account to FIA, then FIA was bought by Bank of America.
BofA claims they have found no record for the insurance Dad purchased to cover the account’s balance in the event of his death.
In truth, I was appalled when informed BofA now had the account. They gave unsecured mortgages to illegal aliens in California — how stupid of a bank!
Thank you for the information.
http://suite101.com/article/family-member-responsibility-for-credit-card-debt-after-death-a319041
Good luck with everything.
Turns out the credit card was sold THREE times and BofA cannot find any record of the insurance, and the employer’s life insurance was for $9,000 and not for $45,000, as was thought.
So, Dad owed $17,000 on a VISA card. I went to BofA with his death certificate and told them I had Power of Attorney and would be handling closure of his estate.
Power of Attorney allows you to do what your father can do. Since the dead do not transact business, your power as his attorney-in-fact died with him. I am not a lawyer, but that’s what a lawyer told me (in Pennsylvania). I had reason to ask, since I also have a power of attorney and am named as executor in a will (and, thank God, the former rather than the latter is in force).
I agree. There's a Ukrainian cyber-supercriminal named Leo Kuvayev (wanted in Massachusetts for at least the last 15 years for spamming) who likes to do crap like this. Term of art is "fishing". Give him the last four digits of your Social and he'll zero you in and cut himself a nice, new, American Express Gold Card in your name. Enough personal info, and he can cut a new debit card on your Chase Bank account. With those two items, he'll be backing a new Bentley R off the showroom floor down in Boca Raton and have it on an air freighter to Europe by midnight.
Bank of America changed the name on the credit account to my name and I’ve been hounded by collectors since October. The lawyer handling the estate has not returned my phone calls, and I suspect that what BofA did was illegal.
I'm not a lawyer but I've been in a similar situation. Here's what the facts are:
1. You're not "responsible" for your fathers bills unless you were a co-signer on the credit account or assumed responsibility for the bill.
2. BofA may not have done anything "illegal" but what they did was damn' sure unethical.
When you went to the bank and told them you had power of attorney and that you'd be handling the closure of your father's estate, they heard you say you were taking responsibility for his outstanding balances.
Whether or not they actually changed the name on the credit account from your father's to yours is something you'll need a lawyer to help you figure out by running a credit report on yourself and your deceased father.
If a credit report on you shows that BofA did in fact "transfer" the debt from your father to you, and you've not signed anything to take accountability for his debt (surely you didn't?) then BofA's in for some trouble and you'll need a lawyer to help you straighten the mess out.
If a credit report on you shows that BofA did NOT "transfer" the debt (meaning it doesn't show up on YOUR credit report but does on your fathers) then you can and SHOULD tell BofA to go pound sand and that you'll not pay them one red cent because you are NOT obligated to do so.
Now what the bill collectors are trying to do to you is GUILT you into paying your father's bills. Again, unless you physically signed a piece of paper taking responsibility for his bills (meaning YOU are agreeing to pay them) you are under NO OBLIGATION to pay any bill collector a cent for your father's debt.
It is an unfortunate reality of the economy we live in that bill collectors are being hired to hound the families of the deceased to attempt to "guilt" or "bully" them into paying their loved one's bills in order to make the bill collectors go away. Your best bet here to make them stop would be to get names and addresses of the collection agencies, names (first and last if possible) of those calling you and then contact your local District Attorney or States Attorney General and pursue charges against them for harassment. Of course the obligatory complaint to the BBB is also in order.
Best of luck to you.
Indeed. The less often you respond to numbers you don’t know, the less often the telemarketers, salesmen, and scammers bother you.
Don’t answer the phone if you don’t recognize the number is sage advice.
Happy New Year!
Dave Ramsey Ping
Happy New Year to you also
Dave Ramsey Ping. (Keeping my fingers crossed that it will not be a double ping.)
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