Skip to comments.Don't Allow Collectors Access to Your Money
Posted on 12/26/2012 7:57:58 AM PST by Kaslin
Im trying to help my son and daughter-in-law by encouraging them to get out of debt and live on a budget. It hasnt been a problem to give them money when theyve asked in the past, but Im afraid theyre still in a mess. How can I make sure Im doing the right thing?
The first thing you need to do is sit down and have a serious, loving talk with them. If theyve asked for money before, and it has become something of a trend, you have a right to know more about their circumstances. In addition, they need to understand that opening up and being honest about their situation and behavior is a requirement for them to receive more of your help.
I know you guys love each other, but be prepared for them to get defensive. Lots of times people are embarrassed to talk about their mistakes, no matter how nicely you approach things. They may decide not to answer any questions and that its none of your business. Thats fine, too. Just make sure they understand Mom wont open her checkbook unless they open up about their finances.
This isnt about you being nosy or controlling. Its about making sure youre not giving a drunk a drink and further enabling any misbehavior. Then, if theyre willing to talk, and as a result, you feel they truly need help, make sure any money you give them is a gift, not a loan.
I know it hurts to see them go through rough times, Margaret. But if theyre acting irresponsibly with money, they need to suffer the consequences of their actions. That, along with your love and advice, can help them turn the corner and win with money!
I have one bill left from an emergency room visit earlier this year, and Im trying to settle with a collections agency. Theyre willing to accept half of the $930 owed, but they want me to pay online or by phone, and I dont feel safe doing that. What should I do?
If theyre willing to lower the bill by half, then you need to get that in writing. If you dont have it in writing, you dont have a deal. And whatever you do, dont give them any form of electronic access to your money. Ive seen too many collectors lie to people about agreements, then go in and raid their accounts.
Just tell them to send you, by email or regular letter, a statement saying that $465 will be accepted as payment in full for the debt. Also, tell them youll turn around the day you receive this letter and send them a cashiers check for that amount. Until then, they can go jump in the lake!
* Dave Ramsey is Americas trusted voice on money and business. Hes authored four New York Times best-selling books: Financial Peace, More Than Enough, The Total Money Makeover and EntreLeadership. The Dave Ramsey Show is heard by more than 5 million listeners each week on more than 500 radio stations. Follow Dave on Twitter at @DaveRamsey and on the web at daveramsey.com.
Yes, go to www.daveramsey.com and on the right hand side of his web page you will see a section called ELP’s, it stands for Endorced Local Providers. It is a screened database of different financial service providers that are in your specific area. I can tell you that Dave and his team are VERY stringent on those service providers.
OK, just under that section you will see a link to find a “financial counselor” that is actually trained by Dave’s team to help folks with debt and debt collectors. Contact the one that pops up closest to you....
I agree with you, I think that what BofA did is illegal as well. It could very well get the entire debt cancelled or forgiven...
If you do pay off the card make sure you do it out of his account or an estate account NEVER yours. If you do it out of yours all of his creditors can claim you’ve taken responsibility for his bills.
On the other hand unless he actually said in his will to pay off his debts ignore them.
To add to what usconserative said, don’t ever pay a single cent on your dad’s Visa. If you do, they can make a legal case that by doing it you assumed responsibility for the whole debt. Then you really are screwed.
I thought that creditors by law got first crack at the estate before heirs did. Is that not the case?
Depends on the laws of your state. Also depends on the size of everything. All the estates I’ve helped cleanup were small enough to get parted out before the creditors even got to find out. With everything closed they got death certificates and no cash. Of course nobody was owed more than a couple grand so they just wrote it off. Qwest was the worst, they just could not wrap their heads around “she’s dead turn the phone off” then they spent years hassling me for the money for the months they wouldn’t turn it off. Kept telling them if they’d turned the phone off the first time I told them to and sent a certificate nobody would owe them anything.
It was not B of A that gave unsecured mortgages to illegal aliens. It was Countrywide, run by Angelo Mozilo. B of A bought Countrywide and with it, all the problems from the fraud and abuses that Mozilo did while raking off a billion dollars into his own accounts and leaving the company in dire straits.
B of A was one of the few large banks that did NOT do subprime lending. They got out the business ahead of the housing bubble. They goofed, however, in buying Countrywide. They are still paying for that mistake.
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