US married father's horror after wife places his child with an adopted family without telling him

Daily Mail [UK] ^ | 3 December 2012 | Nina Golgowski

[Slings and Arrows]

A Texas man is battling for custody of his first-born daughter after his wife successfully gave her up for adoption without telling him - to a family who now refuses to return the girl.

Terry Achane, 31, a drill instructor in South Carolina, says it was just days after he left his pregnant wife for his new job out of state that she quietly signed over their unborn baby to a family of seven in Utah.

His newborn baby, whom he had wanted to name Teleah, was given to Jared and Kristi Frei, who now say the girl is theirs and won't give her back without a fight.

Mr Achane says that he and his wife, Tira Bland, were having marital problems not long after learning she was pregnant in 2010, leading to her decision and his now spiraling struggle today despite a judge ordering the girl returned to him last October.

The now ex-husband says Ms Bland had suggested having an abortion or giving their child up for adoption - fearing she would end up as a single mother - but he said no, encouraging their daughter's birth.

It was just months later in February of 2011 that Mr Achane found himself sent to Fort Jackson in South Carolina for work, believing he’d leave and come back a new dad.

Ten days after his move, however, his wife went gave birth to a premature baby and signed away their child before cutting all contact with her husband.

[Ditter]

We adopted 3 children, 2 through an agency and one through an attorney. The last one, through the attorney was all done properly and legally but the birth mother came back to him and said she wanted to visit her child.

He told her we had moved away and he lost track of us. this was 40 years ago and she made no attempt to find us. He didn't tell me for several years and I was thankful that I didn't know because I would have been worried that she would show up on our doorstep one day. This was back in the day before open adoptions.

[Chickensoup]

I have four adopted at birth children.

The baby is not yours until it is legally yours. It is not legally yours until all rights are signed off.

[moovova]

“He needs to move on...”

You would abandon your child?

[Behind the Blue Wall]

A mess, but it’s also a good illustration of why abortion is so horrible. If she’d aborted the child against his wishes instead of giving it up for adoption, as she’d apparently originally intended and as millions of others do every year, there’d be no case, nothing to discuss, we’d have never heard of it, but his loss would be a thousand times worse than being deprived of his daughter in his life for 21 months.

[Ditter]

Yes I know. Mine were all adopted at birth. Went to court at 6 months to make it legal. I did not want to have any contact with the birth parents.

[Jedidah]

You fail to take into account that these “bonded parents” are keeping a child from the biological father who wanted her even before she was born, who kept the mother from aborting her, and who has jumped through hoops to get custody and raise her.

Not so sure the little girl is better off with such people. who already have a houseful of kids.

My vote is with Dad.

[Responsibility2nd]

The talking points at the top of the article tell the story....

• Texas couple were experiencing marital trouble when husband took a job out of state leading to the quiet adoption
• Judge has since found birth mother had deceived her husband, the adoption agency and prospective parents
• Adopting couple of six other children given 60 days to give the child back to father
• Adoptive parents say they plan to appeal the judge's decision

It's just a matter of time before the child is placed with his birth father.

OMG.

What a horrible buck-toothed nasty sneer this child stealer has. She should be locked up.

[Responsibility2nd]

I see there were lots of replies to your ignorant post. Here’s mine

And none of them are in support of you. I didn’t check to see if - by now - you backed off that dumb remark. But unless you are stuck on stupid - I’m sure you have.

[Responsibility2nd]

When we adopted our daughter - here in Texas - there were three signatures required to surrender rights.

1. The birth mother.
2. The birth father.
3. The birth mother’s husband who is by law presumed to be the father. (He wasn’t, but he still had rights).

[Chickensoup]

I met ours but no contact info exchanged. Sent letters once a year. Nice women, great kids.

[bgill]

Exactly.

[tired&retired]

Wonder how many $$$ the wife was paid?

[Andy'smom]

I’m surprised the judge didn’t order that.

[rovenstinez]

So, call me stupid. The Freepers have in their majority piled up on me. They think I know little or nothing about which I speak. My own daughter works with Human Resources in the USA, and has helped 122 babies find happy homes. Most of these are babies being born to single moms doing open adoptions, and rather than abort their babies they have chosen to offer their children to loving parents who offer a secure and safe family enviroment MOST fears of families doing legal adoptions is the ensuing entanglements of court´s actions that would disrupt the bonding that does take place soon after birth, of an infant with their prospective parents.
We adopted a baby 40 years ago, a single mom who didn´t want the father to know.....it was a one night stand. My daughter has adopted 3 children each having spent 4 years in an orphanage.
Sorry, about what people think the law stipulates,but the child really does need to find loving arms soon after birth, and I feel sorry for the guy in South Carolina, at this point he was a sperm donor. He wasn´t even aware of the pregnancy and his desires to have his baby back is exaclty the reason many parents withold their love and refuse to adopt a baby for similar fears that happen like this.

[frnewsjunkie]

The damage was done with the illegal adoption. It’s easy for someone else to say “move on”. That little girl has a father who wants her and she needs to be with him.

[drjimmy]

It’s too bad your personal situation has clouded your mind on this story. The father was not just a sperm donor; he was fully aware of the pregnancy and told the mother specifically not to abort the baby because even if she didn’t want it, he did. He is a loving man who had his child taken away from him through deception by the mother, the adoption agency, and the adoptive parents, who all knew that he wanted the child and yet kept her from him anyway. An environment founded on such lies cannot be a secure and safe family environment.

[Chainmail]

"The child´s rights at this time are greater than the sire´s right"

Horsehockey! He's the child's father not a "sire". You aren't a parent, are you?

[PA Engineer]

He wasn´t even aware of the pregnancy

Reading seems to be another problem you suffer. He had already scheduled time to be there for the birth.

[erkelly]

If you read the article carefully, the father did know his wife was pregnant. The child was born prematurely. And he was in the military, he had no choice but to go where he was sent. He as not just irresponsibly taking a job out of state and abandoning his pregnant wife. While it is true the baby has undoubtedly bonded with the birth parents, to allow this to stand sets a bad precedent and makes this kind of fraud all the easier to commit in the future. A soldier has the same rights to his legitimate children, as any other man. And, the child has a right to her father and her own family, or marriage means nothing. (William Buckley took this position some years ago in another case where a child was adopted against the wishes of the father.) In any event, this case cannot stand as precedent, especially when there is this level of fraud, or it will happen again and again. In any case, it this is handled properly, the child can be returned to her father without being horribly traumatized.

[passionfruit]

I wish FreeRepublic had ‘Like’ buttons. I agree, this father has always wanted the baby, and she should never have Ben taken from him!