Posted on 06/14/2012 3:04:01 AM PDT by Kaslin
In January 1995, I made a list of 18 attributes that described the type of man I wanted to marry. The list included "wants children," "high family ties -- loves his mother," "secure in themselves" and "social."
Three years later, I married such a man. A man who more than met the list, Jimmy Cushman.
I first knew that we would marry when he was helping me hang curtains in my house. Standing in front of the window, wearing jeans, hammer in hand, he was staring up, determining the next steps. In a flash, I knew that we would one day be married. Less than two years later, we did.
We have been blessed by God with two wonderful children, Maggie and Robert. It was only once we had children that I realized how incredibly important he was, not only to me, but to our children.
Maggie was born in respiratory distress, and was whisked from the delivery room for breathing treatments. Jimmy followed her every step of the way to make sure that she was safe and being looked after.
My favorite picture from the hospital shows Jimmy, seated in a chair, holding Maggie in his arms. His head is bowed; he is sleeping, holding his child.
When Robert followed 22 months later, Jimmy was in the room when the doctor called for an emergency C-section. The cord was prolapsed, and our child would not live if he was delivered normally. Jimmy's eyes grew large, and he and my sister Kathy were pushed aside as the medical staff rapidly rolled me down the hall to an operating room. A few minutes later, unsure of what was going to happen, I was put all the way under by the anesthesiologist. Hours later, when I awoke, Jimmy was in my room, giving me a thumbs up. All was well with our child. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep.
My favorite picture from the hospital shows Jimmy holding Robert in his arms sitting in a chair. His head is bowed; he is sleeping, holding his child.
Our youngest turns 11 this summer. As the years have gone by, and the daily physical challenges of parenting have changed from dressing, feeding, bathing and entertaining to daily mental challenges of challenging, inspiring, listening to and encouraging, it has become apparent to me that I chose even better than I had thought, and certainly better than I deserve.
A wonderful husband, Jimmy is an incredible father: charming, funny and caring, with fine Southern manners.
Fathers provide an example to their daughters of how they should expect to be treated by men. They provide an example to their sons of how to treat others. They provide stability as well as encouragement.
The most important decision that many of us will make is whom to marry, with whom should we share our time, our home and our lives. For those who are already parents, or who go on to become parents, this decision is even more important and key to how those children will grow up and develop.
Who will help discipline them, who will encourage them, who will serve as an example to them?
Like most people, I have sometimes wondered whether a decision I made was the right one. Often, my decisions are shortsighted. Occasionally, they are wrong.
But about my decision to marry Jimmy, the most important decision I have ever made, I have no doubt. I know that I made the right decision.
My list of attributes was but a prayer from my lips to God's ears. Luckily, God favored me and found the perfect man -- for me. We are blessed with two wonderful children and a loving family.
While this roller coaster of life still has its bumps and bruises, as well as its sunshine and fun, and while Jimmy still has the ability to sleep after surviving some of the most stressful of times, I wouldn't want to ride it with anyone else.
Happy Father's Day, to the incredible father of our children.
Good article.
Describing my childrens father as well.
I can’t imagine my life without him.
Describes mine too!! We have four beautiful daughters and will be married 30 years in October. Our oldest daughter (25) is getting married Saturday so this is a really big time in our lives so everyone send a prayer our way for June 16th!! All plans are in proper place and all should go well.
This is very true of my second husband. After my divorce, and I had run the gamut of emotions involved with that, I made a list of the things I wanted in a husband, it took a while but he was finally delivered to me (as Jackie said, “...but a prayer from my lips to God’s ears”) by way of a blind date. We have been together since that first date.
He became a wonderful step-dad to my two boys. He is grandpa to our four grandkids. He even came to really like my ex and was with me and his family when he passed on to the other side. He respects and and loves me with all my flaws. We are still on the same road to the future - together. We will be married 24 years this fall.
Men are so important in children’s lives. Women need to respect that more.
I am jealous.
It is as though we are in a desert. My daughter is a wonderful girl, and a single mom. Some men have no grasp of what being a father really means. How do we explain this to my granddaughter when she’s old enough? He wanted to abort her. And now my daughter, well, her life is structured such that she isn’t meeting anyone who isn’t juvenile. Like I said. We live in a desert. It’s called Illinois.
So am I.
I, too, was married to the most wonderful husband and father — lost him to illness almost 2 years ago and can still barely acknowledge it without welling up and my throat closing. I miss him every minute of every day! Our daughter married when she was 27, and he is the most wonderful husband and father. Ten years later, they have three beautiful kids and are providing them the same loving environment, the same example of care and concern for others, the same example of the importance of family, and most importantly, they same example of what they should expect and can have in their adult life. Happy Father’s Day to all, and I wish you all the happiness and health necessary to fill your lives with joy and love, and to build a life that is an example to everyone in your lives!
Apparently taking his name as her own wasn't one of her attibutes.
Do a Google search first. She is known as Jackie Cushman. The Gingrich appellation only comes into play when she is writing for a conservative audience so the connection to Daddy Newt is apparent. Lots of ladies use their maiden name as a middle name, especially when they are not fond of the middle name their parents gave them. My own mother for example uses her maiden name rather than Beatrice. She always hated that name.
It’s not that we don’t like our middle names growing up, it’s that we love the legacy of our maiden name and family values. I would never toss that aside, whereas my middle name... whether I liked it or not (and I loved it), it just doesn’t have the same pride as keeping your mother and father’s good name and upbringing in your life and your name forever!
Talk about parading your ignorance...! She is using the standard "maiden as middle" name format. She does not hyphenate the two surnames together. You are barking up the wrong stump...
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