Skip to comments.Due to the large number of jobs moving from California to Texas...
Posted on 06/13/2012 5:33:00 PM PDT by Libloather
I’ll quibble with one of those distinctions: In California “Investment for the Future” is equivalent to more debt. The taxes come later.
They need to leave their liberal progressivism at the state line or turn around and go back.
This is exactly why I’m trying to move from California to Texas.
I like it!
But a good start.
In all fairness there are things that just don’t translate at all.
There is no CA equivalent for the Texas term “work ethic”, for example.
“Investment for the Future” = Irresponsible Government Spending and kickback schemes.
“work ethic” = greed, selfishness and elitism
Just hope Texas isn’t on the recieving end of the same type of Californians who have ruined Washington and Oregon and are trying to take over Colorado.
Texas and the US should establish laws that do not permit new residents to vote in any elections until they have maintained residency for a minimum amount of years. 5 to 8 Years should be about right for new residents to learn the language and the local politics. And for ex-Kalifornians like myself, would recommend 10-20 years. Would have no problem with that.
Watch Texas get Californicated, and become less and less Texas. It was never the same after the great carpetbagger influx of the 1980s.
or we can welcome you to keep movin'.
Please bring some of that Pacific coool air in the summer!!
Excellent and laugh worthy!!
I remember a bumper sticker from 40 years ago!
DON’T CALIFORNICATE COLORADO!
Unfortunately they have.
My feelings exactly. I’ve watched Colorado over the last few years turn into Califoricate East. It’s bad enough that we have progressive pits in Austin and urban Houston.
OK. How about “Honesty”?
I’m glad they like Texas. They can stay oout of North Dakota. 40 below keeps the riff raff out.
“Honesty = hate speech, closed minded, bigoted, extremist, out of the mainstream, controversial, backward, moralistic.
I used some adjectives represent a noun but hopefully the point gets across.
I sooo have to move there.
This would be a lot funnier if it was a joke.
I crack up everytime I read the following "Foreigner's Travel Guide to Texas:
1) Don't expect to find filet mignon or pasta primavera at the local restaurant. Its a cafe. They serve hamburgers and chicken fried steak. Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, theyll kick your ass.
2) Dont laugh at the names (Merleen, Bodie, Bubba, Bobby Ray, Curley, Tammy Lynn, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). Or we will HAVE to kick your ass.
3) Dont order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. In Texas its called a coke. Nobody gives a damn whether its Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever its still a coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.
4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (read some J. Frank Dobie). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer than you. Dont refer to us as a bunch of cowboy hicks, or well kick your ass.
5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Howard Hughes, H. Ross Perot, Southwest Airlines, Dell computers). Naturally, sometimes we have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Ann Richards) . However, we are not dumb enough to let someone move to our state just so they can run for the US Senate. If anyone tried to do that they would get a serious ass kickin.
6) Dont laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Gen. Hood youd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit the Alamo, take your hat off and be properly humble, or well kick your ass.
7) We are fully aware of how hot it gets and how high the humidity is, so shutup about it. If you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen, or well kick your ass.
8) Do not attempt to eat tamales without first removing their corn husk casing. Everyone will instantly know that youre a Yankee. DO NOT, under any circumstances, complain that the chili is TOO hot or contains no kidney beans, this will get your ass kicked into next week.
9) Dont talk about how much better things are at home because we know they are not. Many of us have visited Northern hell-holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you dont like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Move your ass on home-before we kick it.
10) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we dont want to sound like you. We dont care if you dont understand what we are saying. All other Texans understand what we are saying and thats all that matters. Now, go away, or well kick your ass.
11) Dont complain that certain areas of this state smells of oil. If your livelihood depended on those wells youd soon learn to love the aroma. Besides, None of OUR lakes or rivers have caught fire recently. If you whine about OUR scenic beauty, well kick your ass all the way back to Pittsburgh, PA.
12) Dont ridicule our Texas manners. We say sir and maam. We hold doors open for others. We offer our seats to old folks. Such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers, or theyll kick your ass-just like they did ours.
13) Dont think were quaint or losers because most of us live in small towns. We do this because we have enough sense to not live in crime infested cesspools like Baltimore. Make fun of our small towns and well kick your ass.
14) DO NOT DARE to tell us how to cook barbecue. This will get your ass shot (right after it is kicked). Criticize the barbecue and you may go home in a pine box-minus your ass.
15) Remember, the only reason you are lucky enough to be here in the first place is because we have not pulled the Border Patrol off the Rio Grande and put them on the Red River (where they really belong) to keep your ass out.
Immigrants to Texas should leave their Liberal ideas in California. We don’t give a rats ass how things were done there.
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