Report: Chavez's cancer has 'entered the end stage'

Yahoo news ^ | 30 May 2012 | Dan Rather

[mandaladon]

This reporter has been told that Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has metastatic rhabdomyosarcoma, an aggressive cancer that has "entered the end stage". The information and the quote come from a highly respected source close to Chavez and who is in a position to know his medical condition and history. This source says the prognosis is dire and that Chavez is now not expected to live "more than a couple of months at most." Chavez is running for re-elec tion in Venezuela but several sources--including the one who revealed the exact kind of cancer-- have told me that they believe it is doubtful the dictator will live to see the results.

Voting is scheduled for October 7th. Chavez has been treated three times in Cuba but the exact kind of cancer has been a closely guarded state secret.

Reporter's note: There is only one source for identifying the cancer and for the prognosis quoted in the first part of the above story. This is a person whom your reporter has very good reason to trust, but you should know that there is only one source so far; no other immediate confirmation. All sources asked for and were granted anonymity because to reveal their names could place them in danger or, at the very least cost them their positions.

[mandaladon]

I wonder how reliable Dan Rather is

[Nervous Tick]

>> I wonder how reliable Dan Rather is

I think we *know* the answer to that question. :-)

[Freestate316]

This story may be fake, but accurate. Was Dan choking back tears, like he was when he reported that Florida was going to Bush?

[dps.inspect]

So, we’ll see how invincible he is... Watch Obama award him posthumously some kind of award...

[ransacked]

This is, indeed, wonderful news.

[Moltke]

I hope the doctors are able to do something to relieve the suffering of that poor cancer.

[muir_redwoods]

If he is indeed terminal, I wish him an easy passage. He’s a deluded marxist but perhaps his proximity to death has taught him something m

[dead]

There is only one source for identifying the cancer and for the prognosis quoted in the first part of the above story. This is a person whom your reporter has very good reason to trust, but you should know that there is only one source so far; no other immediate confirmation. All sources asked for and were granted anonymity because to reveal their names could place them in danger or, at the very least cost them their positions.

There is only one source and all of them are in danger.

Dan types this "news" as he thinks it up. He could use a single editor, who would all think he's an idiot.

And when Chavez dies of cancer, which everybody on earth knows is imminent, Dan will tell himself and everybody who will listen, that he was first with the exclusive.

[al baby]

So he now has it in the butt hole, good pos

[Slings and Arrows]

Ooh! Ooh! Dibs to p*ss on the grave!

[RightOnTheBorder]

Think old Hugo can “smell the sulfur” yet?

[Do Not Make Fun Of His Ears]

I wonder if he can smell the sulphur?

[Do Not Make Fun Of His Ears]

WOW! You beat me to it! lol

[Mr. Lucky]

That is funny (in a deeply dark, yet wholly appropriate, sort of way).

[tumblindice]

"This reporter has heard that reservations have been made in a place that's hotter, well, hotter than a Times Square Rolex. Frankly it's hotter than the hinges to the gates of Hell, hotter than the Devil's anvil because it is Hell. Well, you've heard the old saying, "Don't taunt the old dictator `til you've crossed the creek" but Chavez's deathbed is like a sauna--all he can do is wait and sweat. He's got his back to the wall, his shirttails on fire and the bill collector's at the door. He was laying all cattywhompus on ..." (redacted, earthy homilies go on for several pages)

[Fresh Wind]

Will Baby Doc Baraq attend the funeral?

Or will he send Plugs?

[Antoninus]

If true, I pray that he’ll repent before the end.

[liberalh8ter]

Considering that this form of cancer is rare in adults, maybe it's payback time for Hugo.

[kempster]

I am not sure if I will be able to finish this day. I am so broke up.

[DManA]

He is the Generalissimo Francisco Franco of the 21st century.