Posted on 04/27/2012 9:41:50 AM PDT by SeanG200
Are there physiological differences between the sexes that would naturally (or by design) cause one sex to excel in one aspect and not in another? In this short presentation, one lie of 12, you will see an exposing of how politically-correct feminists have undermined what otherwise is common sense.
Yes, yes, and maybe.
All guys think about are women with knobs. I you get my drift. LOL
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students: Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
THE STORY:
(first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn’t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. “A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,....”, he said into his transgalactic communicator. “Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far...” But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship’s cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. “Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel,” Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. “Why must one lose one’s innocence to become a woman?” she pondered wistfully.
(Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu’udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu’udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. “We can’t allow this! I’m going to veto that treaty! Let’s blow ‘em out of the sky!”
(Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
(Gary) Yeah? Well, you’re a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. “Oh shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of f*****g TEA??? Oh no, I’m such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels.”
(Rebecca) Asshole.
(Gary) Bitch.
(TEACHER) A+ - I really liked this one.
Women compare themselves to men, men compare themselves to God.
The following was actually turned in by two of my English students
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BxckAMaTDc
Men’s brains vs. women’s brains.
Men have a box for everything, only one is opened at a time!
Women’s brains are a jumble of wires with EVERYTHING interconnected.
I always liked this one from Bill Engvall:
I was at the gym the other day working out with my buddy. My buddy Joey. And he goes “hey, man, I’m getting a divorce.” I said “Wow, that sucks. Can you spot me?”
That was our whole conversation! So then I go home to my wife, and I say “Hey, Joey is getting a divorce.”
She goes “Oh, my God! What happened?”
“I dunno.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? Is she cheating on him, is he cheating on her?”
“Again, I’m not holding anything back here, I don’t know!”
She goes “Bill, someone tells you they’re getting a divorce and you don’t ask any questions?”
And I go “Well, that’s because he didn’t ask me a question!”
He didn’t say ‘hey Bill, what do you think about me getting a divorce?’, he said, ‘I’m getting a divorce’, which said to me, ‘I require no further input on your part.’”
If he had said ‘What do you think about me getting a divorce?’, I’d have said, ‘Well, you’re gonna be dating again, so you should work on your abs’.
Some people just don’t want to get that in their heads.
Sometimes I think like a man;I,too,like to keep things simple.
Differences? No, really, I hadn’t noticed. Differences. Men and women, different. Well, maybe, I guess. Women are the ones who want a man to be tender and loving and then date hairy, alcoholic bikers. Men are the ones who try to light farts with large-caliber handguns. Naw, we’re not really different. We’re all idiots.
Mostly, I want to be able to find stuff where I put it and I don't want to be awakened by somebody telling me what time it is. The stuff beyond that is even simpler.
But, NOOOOOOOO, that is 'way too much to ask.
We eventually broke up because she insisted on waking me up 30 minutes after she forced me to eat something to tell me what time it was.
I love that graphic!
Having thirty four years of marriage behind me I can say what works for us. I rule the roost, she rules the rooster.
Very, very nice.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.