Skip to comments.I'm childless at 42 and haunted by the baby I aborted at 18
Posted on 04/25/2012 9:37:08 PM PDT by grundle
Once, at a smart wedding in Northamptonshire when I was about 30, someone handed me a newborn baby and my skin broke out in hot hives.
In Brazil, I met a ten-year-old street kid. I fed him, let him sleep and shower in my hotel room, bought him clothes, and felt an overwhelming desire to protect and nurture him.
I had never before felt such a forceful maternal instinct. These events were profoundly physical reactions, both shocking to me.
Just around the time of my trip to Brazil, the ghost of my never-born came back to haunt me. I began imagining what he might have been like a tall and sandy-haired boy, who would have been 17 at the time. I was 35, the age when the experts say your eggs and fertility start declining.
Its embarrassing to reveal these visions of my never-born son, and important to understand their significance. This imagined son was not some moral spectre come to punish me; it was my subconscious reminding me to wake up and face reality.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Agreed. It does help to have a few kids maybe one will care enough to see they don’t abuse you in the nursing home.
“There are still a father and a mother, even in a lab situation.
Its just the father has decided to be naught but a sperm donor. Some father.”
You don’t need a lab for this. There are plenty of sperm donors who made their “donation” the old-fashioned way.
What a horrible story. I’d like to feel some sympathy for this woman, but her narcissism and lack of remorse are too shocking.
Well, she probably enjoyed her consequence free fornication for 24 or more years though...
“you have received your reward”
I saw a lot of double posts today. I think they are having a glitch. I'm taking care to hit the button once.
Sadly, she doesn't seem to have learned from this. On the other hand, perhaps she is still simply trying to rationalize it? Certainly, she has written a lot of hollow words trying to do so.
It is obvious this is still all about herself and she is still seeking redemption within the boundaries of her secular, empty world. She won't find it, of course.
What she needs is Jesus and His forgiveness and love - not more navel-gazing and Liberally approved dead-ends. Only He can set her free from her prison of anguish and guilt.
Personally I'm more disgusted that anyone would publish this selfish diatribe than with her. I have compassion for her for the fact that she can't get out of her current deluded state without first facing the reality of her actions which is going to be a really cold hard truth for her.
The mere fact that it will be so hard may be what's preventing her from taking that step but there is no way around it. She can't get to a place where she feels right with the world without first facing the ugliness of her actions. Clarity of mind isn't selective. When you achieve it you see everything.
But if she and some publisher thinks it's worth publishing for the world to see then they've asked for the feedback. Perhaps you think she needs some more pretty lies so she can keep avoiding the truth and keep on wandering around wondering why she's never happy. I don't call that compassion.
Agreed, except that I don’t really feel compassion for her. She doesn’t regret what she did, and would advise others to do the same thing.
I knew this was UK Daily Mail just by the headline. This newspaper prints lot of the non-PC stuff the US press ignores. They are the largest on-line newspaper these days...so I have read. They expose the Muslim invasion of UK and their bad behavior (rape etc) with native white women
You have millions of Americans going to the Daily Mail website rather than the POS NY Times
She killed a baby.
She doesn’t deserve any slack.
What do you mean "fail" and why do you reference husbands and fathers without referencing wives and mothers?
It’s just one way to look at it. Ultimately anyone who is swayed to abort their own child by it is still responsible for their own decision as she is for hers. That’s why I’m more bothered by it being published than the fact that she is in a place where she is stuck because the way forward means pain. Everyone is stuck behind something at one time or another. The article is a public affirmation of her not finding her way yet. The publisher thought that was a good thing.
OH MY GOSH!! She did NOT “murder” a “batch of cells”. She murdered a precious PERSON, a human being whom she was responsible for, and who had an absolute right to live.
I really can’t buy this that they were victims here. They were active participants. They wanted to believe the lies. How else can anyone actually buy the lie that “it’s not a person” and “it’s just a mass of cells” when FOREVER other groups and churches that existed well before Roe V Wade were also getting their message out that 1) what else could it be but human life and 2) if you see these pictures you’ll see it’s not just a mass of cells.
Same pro-life group work went on in the UK as well.
Eve bought the distorted lie of Satan and that did not absolve her that first bite when she blamed her choice on the snake “the serpent beguiled me and I ate”. She wanted to believe that lie. Didn’t save Adam either “the woman you gave me ...”
The liars are guilty, and those that want to and believe the lie are guilty. I just do not believe all these women are innocent victims. The bottom line is they did not want a baby so they understood the procedure “gets rid” of the baby. Rationalization fails. They all knew I don’t want a baby (person), and I want to believe the rationalization and try to convince myself at a certain stage it’s not a person yet. Sorry. This is why they are messed up still today. They are still trying to believe the lie. But the fact they still want to believe the lie means they still don’t repent of what they’ve done. They know in their hearts what they did. It conflicts with the rationalization because they know the rationalization they tried to believe all this time, is not a sufficient lie to cover the truth.
I feel sorry for them. I will not declare them victims in the sense they escape responsibility for their actions. They are sinners preyed upon by other sinners, in this particular case. It is a sad situation all around and I do hope they can get some peace by acknowledging the truth of what they did to God, and asking forgiveness for it.
Why is it that men are only spoken of in terms of responsibilities rather than rights?
The "danger" of feminism has already been realized in law: every man is barred by law from legally protecting his own children between conception and birth.
The best way to answer the question:....... Should I have been a teen mother, is by asking myself how I would advise a young girl in a similar situation.......... If my .... 17-year-old god-daughter asked what she should do,......" I Would Advise Her To Have An Abortion."
The Daily Mail is a great paper. They successfully show this woman at what we hope here is a midpoint: remorse for the bad consequences for herself, but not yet aware of God. Even the Catholic Church accepts remorse for bad consequences as sufficient remorse (in the confessional).
The article is all fluff.....for she states she would advise her own 17 yr. old god-daughter to abort if she became pregnant.
Good thing her mother didn’t think the same way....
“”It would be easy to feel sorry for myself, to reproach myself for my decision to abort the baby I was carrying at 18 or to desperately chase the dream of motherhood at the age of 42.
Instead, I have decided to accept my situation with grace its a hell of a lot cheaper than five rounds of IVF.””
She truly doesn’t understand the purpose of life!
Why shouldn't there be? Despite her whinning she would advise her own god-daughter to abort at 17. The woman has learned nothing at all despite her feelings she cannot have children...there is no guilt there nor shame...just whinning.
That's false. The primary proponents of abortion are the women who have them.
Most are done over the objections of the baby' father.
I doubt it...she writes if her god-daughter got pregnant she would advise her to abort the baby. That pretty much is what a young woman reading this article is going to take from it IMO. ......By her stating that everything else she says goes down the tubes....pun intended.
I feel deeply sorry for this woman. She is still in complete denial and is struggling to continue rationalizing the murder of her baby. The article screams it.
But the truth she knows down deep is trying to come out, that she did an evil act. I hope she can eventually admit her guilt and beg God’s forgiveness for her actions.
Culture is important. IMHO, a 5 year old knows that killing an unborn baby is murder. I still have great sympathy for woman like this because they are victims of a massive active deception that works 24/7 to brainwash impressionable young women that abortion is not murder.
Yes, she is 100% responsible and will be held to account for killing her baby. But I still feel deeply sorry for her and I understand that she was heavily enabled and still is, by this massive evil propaganda campaign.
I pray she repents of her sin and my God have mercy on her.
No, it's not! The shame would be not having enough of a conscience and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit to NOT struggle.
We are all there. We all have been there. We all will be there again.
It's when we get to that place that we throw ourselves on God's grace and mercy be because only He can effect that work in our hearts and souls that needs to be done. None of us are capable of it in and of ourselves.
That's why Scripture says we need to die to self. The sin nature is beyond reforming.
Take it to God. The kind of honesty engaged in when you do that is very powerful.
Philippians 3:12-14 12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
I agree with you. Down deep she knows she did evil and it is killing her. Outwardly, she is clinging hard to all of the excuses and support that the abortion propaganda machine has to offer.
Imagine her guilt as the sea and the aportion propaganda machine as a life preserver. She is clinging hard to struggle not to admit to herself that she murdered her child, and as long as people keep throwing her life preservers, she will keep clinging on to them.
Evil is the abortion industry and its affect.
I hope and pray she is willing to let go of that life preserver and repent of her sin killing her child. You can see the struggle going on inside her and it is killing her. She can’t see it. She manifests it as just wanting another child. That is her mechanism to “erase” the abortion, but she would find a new child would not erase it. A new child would just move the bar to some other need to keep in denial about the evil she chose.
I feel really sorry for this woman. She is going to suffer, and rightly so.
Funny how that works, huh?
Agreed. This article was published in the "Femail" section, and a quick glance at the home page of "Femail" makes that quite clear.
In Syracuse, NY, there's a bill board along the interstate that says, *Abortion increase the risk of breast cancer*.
I have no idea who put it up but thank God for them.
Sad to read this.
IIRC, there are opportunities to adopt girls from the PRC.
And yet someone who was also killed once said, "Forgive them Father, they know not what they do".
Maybe just a little slack is called for, but she is going to have to do her part to receive God's grace.
That absolutely infuriated me, until I realized she is still in denial. The longer she is, the harder this is going to hit her when (if) she finally admits to herself the evil of her abortion. But yes, I was stunned she said that. I was so sure she was going to say she would NOT recommend abortion to her god-daughter, so I was immensely disappointed to read that. Crushing.
Completely missing from this article is the possibility that her abortion is the cause for her subsequent infertility.
“Men not wanting to pay child support are the primary proponents of abortion”
“That’s false. The primary proponents of abortion are the women who have them.
Most are done over the objections of the baby’ father.”
I meant “of the men who want the mother to have an abortion,” the main reason is so they don’t have to pay child support.
Um.. I wouldn’t try to argue nursing home statistics as part of the career woman feminism. Most are simply folks who have outlived their husbands. Not folks who never married.
“I thought the same thing. She never did get that she killed a human being and her life is still all about her emotional comfort.”
Let her get pregnant just once and carry it to term. Then she will get it!
I remember what Darth Sideous said in “Return of the Jedi”
“Young fool... Only now, at the end, do you understand... “
I can think of another quote that might fit a circumstance like that. “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” I’m sure it would bring it home for her and with some strength and some support she might be able to take that pain and transform it into a real awakening.
Thank you for sharing that.Gives me hope.Never has the truth been so hidden or maligned,all to the detriment of women.
Even my adamantly pro-life, anti-abortion daughter didn’t realize that. Her initial reaction was that people claim so much causes cancer, how can they know.
I explained the physiological changes that occur in the body during pregnancy and how when not finished with the completion of a full term pregnancy and resultant lactation, can leave those cells unstable and susceptible to mutation that results in cancer.
Another very well kept secret is that breastfeeding significantly LOWERS the breast cancer risk. The more and longer you nurse, the better the protection.
That is why I said there is a train coming down the track...Of course the Feminism crowd is not there yet, but I can see it coming down the track. The stats of people living in nursing homes will change as this career bunch begins to unravel.
No matter how much they regret it, or even repent, I have a hard time feeling too sorry for a woman who killed her own child.
So glad you are able to share your knowledge with the next generation who will tell friends.And I encourage all women, especially my daughters, to breast feed for many reasons and the one stated is a big one.
And when will the medical establsihment share that the Pill is toxic and increases the chance of cancer?And that the rise in the number of cases of breast cancer seems to match the increase use of the pill? Shhh!!!!!The worst thing is to have a baby......
“And our culture is encouraging the fertile young women not to marry, but to sell their eggs.”
Our culture teaches the fertile young women that if they can find a guy dumb enough to impregnate them it is probably the only way they’ll have children and the guy is on the hook for “child support” (read: Mommy’s rent) for the next 18-24 years. Unfortunately the guys saw what was happening around them and many of them see to it they won’t be the “sugar daddy” (or their daddy, living in squalor while their mother bleeds him dry). Our women today are reaping what they’ve sown, and watching foreigners fill this country in the place of the children they’ll never have.
Husbands, boyfriends, fathers are USUALLY the ones demanding "their" women have abortions in the first place. It is rarely entirely the woman's idea. There was/is a lot of pressure placed on women who are pregnant "inconveniently". Many women would not have made the choice to abort had the father of the child shared the responsibility for the baby they created. So, yes, husbands, fathers, men DO fail - women don't get pregnant by themselves! Condemning the abortive mother while letting the man responsible for the pregnancy off, is hypocrisy. For abortion to become UNTHINKABLE in our lifetime, the truth about it MUST be faced - all aspects.
Amen! She said more than a few times that she was in denial. Most post-abortive women do go through sometimes decades of denial in order to cope with what, deep in their hearts, they KNOW what they did. The truth can only be suppressed for so long and it is not unusual for women to exhibit symptoms of mental duress that comes out through drug addiction, alcoholism, sexual promiscuity, child abuse and other self-destrcutive behaviors as types of "coping" mechanisms. It is ONLY by confronting the truth, forgiving others and yourself and knowing that Christ forgives all those who genuinely confess their sin to him, that real freedom from guilt can occur. It is a process and there are many Pregnancy Help Centers and Project Rachael groups that help women through it.
Very true, the strongest supporters of legalized abortion, are not women, it is young single men. Every single poll or study done on the topic has shown this.
They want the exit so they don’t wind up with a lifetime of responsibility for their actions.
Plenty of blame to go around on abortions. A lot of them are pushed by boyfriends, husbands, and parents, especially when the mom is scared.