[marktwain]

"The end result was that none of the customers or children were hurt. One bad guy was killed and the other ran off during the shooting."

You would never see this statement in the MSM.

[Jerrybob]

>emptied his automatic clip containing multiple rounds. <

huh?

[cripplecreek]

That’s one way to cure an infection.

[Realman30]

"You know what time it is."

'Yeah homie. It's time for your mama to scream and shout!'

[pf flyers]

“automatic clip containing multiple rounds”

Writer is not too gun savvy.

[bwc2221]

This never could have happened in Chicago.

[glorgau]

They are still looking for a suspect that is described as a black male with scruffy hair between the ages of 22 and 30.

It figures that the description given at a barber shop was "scruffy hair".

[Emmett McCarthy]

No mention is made of the ages of the customers. I’m kinda betting that these homies may not have guessed that messing with “crazy old black guys” ain’t any smarter than messing with “crazy old white guys”. I did some time for “contempt of court” so I got some first-hand skinny on what these guys think and what they’re scared of. Old guys, race doesn’t matter, who are tired of their crap is at the top of the list.

[Artie]

They are still looking for a suspect that is described as a black male with scruffy hair between the ages of 22 and 30. They say he is six feet tall with a thin build and was wearing a white tee shirt and blue shorts.

It’s Detroit, my hometown and birthplace. Shouldn’t be too hard to locate this suspect ya think?

[bboop]

‘Scruffy hair’ — hardihar. I love a happy ending.

[Moose4]

They are still looking for a suspect that is described as a black male with scruffy hair between the ages of 22 and 30. They say he is six feet tall with a thin build and was wearing a white tee shirt and blue shorts.

...with a very, very large brown stain on the back.

}:-)4

[Last Dakotan]

[SIDENET]

"HE WAS SUCH A GOOD BOY."

[E. Pluribus Unum]

They are still looking for a suspect that is described as a black male with scruffy hair between the ages of 22 and 30. They say he is six feet tall with a thin build and was wearing a white tee shirt and blue shorts.

Probably blue-and-brown shorts by the time he got out of there.

[coloradan]

Police say the deceased has a long rap sheet. He was currently out on parole for an armed robbery conviction.

In some alternative utopia it would be nice to hold parole board members responsible for the crimes of those under their watch. If he has a "long rap sheet" it means he's been convicted of many individual crimes. Yet, still he walked the streets. (Plus, notwithstanding his criminal record, 20,000 gun laws didn't keep him from arming himself, so it isn't too likely that 20,001 would do so either.)

[manic4organic]

"You know what time it is."

Yep, time for you to die, parasite.

[saintgermaine]

I like happy endings especially when they help to clean up the gene pool.

[J40000]

Crook #1: Hey man, we need some MONEY!

Crook #2: Yeah, let’s stick up a place and GIT some!

Crook #1: Where can we get a LOT of it?

Crook #2: ...uhh... hey! I know! Let’s go rob da BARBER SHOP over there!

WHY a barber shop? I’m sure they’re just LOADED with BIG money after giving those $12. haircuts all day...

[ASA Vet]

Another “clip” tread.

[junta]

He still will be voting in his precinct for the “One” thanks to absentee voting.

[curmudgeonII]

That’s one less.