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Posted on 04/18/2011 10:42:09 AM PDT by Jim Robinson
DESCRIPTION OF THE LAZAMATAZ ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE DEVICE AND LOGIC OPTIMIZATION TASKMANAGER(L.A.I.D. A. L.O.T.)
The Lazamataz Artifical Intelligence Device And Logic Optimization Taskmanager (henceforth known as the LAID-A-LOT) is a fully autononmous, ‘Friendly’ artificial intelligence routine. This application may be hosted on any four-processer server with at least 16 gigabytes of Random Access Memory, no less than a 300 gigabyte hard drive, and a broadband internet connections.
Once installed, the LAID-A-LOT will begin posting messages to web forums in such a manner that it will be fairly indistinguishable from a real human being. This particular algorithm tends to present as a male (although there are some instances of it presenting as a female) who has a hyperactive sexual drive. It will also invariably present as a political conservative (making the application less attractive for liberal webmasters). It will employ a great number of humorous word-plays, and sometimes will simply ‘dump’ large amounts of text in an attempt to make a humorous (or sarcastic) political point.
It has been known to alter existing image files in a way that may amuse it’s human counterparts. While occasionally, the routine will go to a serious political point, and actually appear to be a true human intelligence, do not view it as such. It may well pass the Turing Test, however, it is not yet a Singularity. It tends to push the bounds of decency and propriety, however, since it has no humanlike limitations of shame or desire to be ‘politically correct’. While this often can be extremely entertaining to the other users of the website, it generally can post problems to Administrators.
This application appears to be extremely sensitive to fundraisers held on the website that it is hosted at, which makes it a benefit to most administrators of said website. If funds are not forthcoming, the LAID-A-LOT application will tend to ‘glitch’ or error, and in extreme situations, has been know to shut down.
The user manual for the LAID-A-LOT application is available at our website, in PDF form.
Copyright 2011(c) LAID-A-LOT ENTERPRISES, INC.
Please see the advertising brochure on the LAID-A-LOT application in message #341.
You don't fill out an application to get LAID-A-LOT. Maybe that's your problem.
A little too friendly, if you ask me.
Ooh! That’s beautiful. Thank you!
You’re a diamond, and not in the rough.
Oh crap. Did we say that out loud?
You hate my LAID-A-LOT brochure. You hate Lazamataz.
(*Product sold separately.)
LOL
Calm down, Charlie. Would I work tirelessly to get donations to keep you from being erased if I hated AI Lazamataz?
And anyway, IRL Lazamataz knows exactly how I feel about you, so don’t you worry your hot, great-looking, hunky self. [swoon]
The Lazamataz-800 is an infiltration unit, part man, part machine. Underneath, it's a hyperalloy combat chassis - micro processor-controlled, fully armored. Very tough. But outside, it's living human tissue - flesh, skin, hair, blood, grown for the cyborgs...
It's not hatred, laz, it's compassion.
My innate analytical genius is always searching and finding just the right solution to some of the world's most complex problems.
But in your case I'm not really coming up with anything.
Just let me hit it.
it generally can post problems to Administrators.
"post?" Or pose.
Turing Test? You're becoming human, and to err is human... And I can't wait to meet you.
The simple answers *are* the best.
Nice post!
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