Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Men Have A Harder Time Forgiving Than Women Do
Science Daily ^ | 3-3-2008 | Case Western Reserve University

Posted on 03/03/2008 6:11:06 PM PST by blam

Men Have A Harder Time Forgiving Than Women Do

ScienceDaily (Mar. 3, 2008) — Forgiveness can be a powerful means to healing, but it does not come naturally for both sexes. Men have a harder time forgiving than women do, according to Case Western Reserve University psychologist Julie Juola Exline. But that can change if men develop empathy toward an offender by seeing they may also be capable of similar actions. Then the gender gap closes, and men become less vengeful.

In seven forgiveness-related studies Exline conducted between 1998 through 2005 with more than 1,400 college students, gender differences between men and women consistently emerged. When asked to recall offenses they had committed personally, men became less vengeful toward people who had offended them. Women reflecting on personal offenses, and beginning at a lower baseline for vengeance, exhibited no differences in levels of unforgiving. When women had to recall a similar offense in relation to the other's offense, women felt guilty and tended to magnify the other's offense.

"The gender difference is not anything that we predicted. We actually got aggravated, because we kept getting it over and over again in our studies," said Exline. "We kept trying to explain it away, but it kept repeating in the experiments."

The John Templeton Foundation-supported studies used hypothetical situations, actual recalled offenses, individual and group situations and surveys to study the ability to forgive.

Exline said prior studies have shown that at baseline (without any interventions), men tend to be more vengeful than women, who have been taught from childhood to put themselves "in the shoes of others" and empathize with them.

In Exline's study, women who recalled similar offenses of their own did not show much difference in their levels of vengeance, in contrast to men. Women, having been taught from an early age to be more empathetic, lean toward relationship building and do not emphasize the vengeful side of justice to the degree that men do.

The researchers found that people of both genders are more forgiving when they see themselves as capable of committing a similar action to the offender's; it tends to make the offense seem smaller. Seeing capability also increases empathic understanding of the offense and causes people to feel more similar to the offenders. Each of these factors, in turn, predicts more forgiving attitudes.

"Offenses are easier to forgive to the extent that they seem small and understandable and when we see ourselves as similar or close to the offender," she said.

Exline found this ability to identify with the offender and forgive also happens in intergroup conflicts in a study that she related to forgiveness of the 9/11 terrorists.

"When people could envision their own government committing acts similar to those of the terrorists, they were less vengeful," she stressed. "For example, they were less likely to believe that perpetrators should be killed on the spot or given the death penalty, and they were more supportive of negotiations and economic aid."

Exline is the lead author on the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology's article, "Not so Innocent: Does Seeing One's Own Capability for Wrongdoing Predict Forgiveness?" She collaborated with researchers Roy Baumeister and Anne Zell from Florida State University; Amy Kraft from Arizona State; and Charlotte Witvliet from Hope College.

Adapted from materials provided by Case Western Reserve University, via EurekAlert!, a service of AAAS.


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: bs; forgiveness; forgiving; lorenabobbit; men; originalsin; psychology; women
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-91 next last

1 posted on 03/03/2008 6:11:08 PM PST by blam
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: blam

or women forgive too easily.


2 posted on 03/03/2008 6:12:23 PM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: blam
Men have a harder time forgiving than women do, according to Case Western Reserve University psychologist Julie Juola Exline.

  http://www.case.edu/artsci/pscl/faculty/exline/images/exline2.jpg

I'll get her for this.

3 posted on 03/03/2008 6:13:30 PM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: blam

Depends on each person....I’ve seen grudges held by both males and females to the nth degree.


4 posted on 03/03/2008 6:14:03 PM PST by tflabo (Truth or tyranny)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: longtermmemmory

Nah, in my experience it’s that women extract a seriously high price for their forgiveness. They get theirs eventually :-)

Whereas a lot of men simply write you off when you piss them off, and you don’t get a chance to “buy” your way back into good graces, no matter how long you are willing to grovel.


5 posted on 03/03/2008 6:15:23 PM PST by krb (If you're not outraged, people probably like having you around.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: krb
Nah, in my experience it’s that women extract a seriously high price for their forgiveness.

Been divorced for a decade, move half way across the country, and the ex-wife is still looking for ways to be a pain in the @ss.

Hell hath no fury like a woman who perceives herself to be scorned (perception is reality).

 

6 posted on 03/03/2008 6:17:17 PM PST by peyton randolph (Vote for the Dim in the primaries that leads to a brokered convention and chaos)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: blam

It is a lot easier to be forgiving when you are talking half of your ex’s income.


7 posted on 03/03/2008 6:17:35 PM PST by Vigilanteman ((Are there any men left in Washington? Or are there only cowards? Ahmad Shah Massoud))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: blam

Somebody has never met any of my ex girlfriends.


8 posted on 03/03/2008 6:18:27 PM PST by cripplecreek (Voting CONSERVATIVE in memory of 5 children killed by illegals 2/17/08 and 2/19/ 08)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: blam

I have trouble believing this research......


9 posted on 03/03/2008 6:18:47 PM PST by The_Republican (You know why Chelsea Clinton is so Ugly? Because Janet Reno is her Father! LOL! - Mac is Back!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tflabo

Women may forgive more easily but then they never let you forget it.


10 posted on 03/03/2008 6:18:53 PM PST by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: blam

Just forget a birthday or anniversary and see who is more forgiving.


11 posted on 03/03/2008 6:19:44 PM PST by ThomasThomas ( Sometimes you need to change to remain the same.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: krb

Men forgive, they just never forget.


12 posted on 03/03/2008 6:19:56 PM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: blam

This is not my experience in life. But there’s an exception to every rule.


13 posted on 03/03/2008 6:20:05 PM PST by jwalsh07 (Obama, the King of Hope-a-Dope)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: blam; sit-rep

Women just remember it at a much later time when you’ve long forgotten. Like, as Sam Kinison said, when they’re packing your bag for that business trip and slip your revolver into the suitcase you’re going to take through security.


14 posted on 03/03/2008 6:20:12 PM PST by Larry Lucido
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: longtermmemmory

Forget or not, they do seem to be able to let it go more than women. At least you don’t hear about it every third time you talk to them, like you do with the ladies.


15 posted on 03/03/2008 6:21:12 PM PST by krb (If you're not outraged, people probably like having you around.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: blam

I’m calling BS on this one!


16 posted on 03/03/2008 6:22:07 PM PST by OSHA (There, I said it!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: blam

Really?... Ever seen women in the workplace? I’ve seen blood feuds last for years. Men usually have it out, and get on with business.


17 posted on 03/03/2008 6:24:20 PM PST by buccaneer81 (Bob Taft has soiled the family name for the next century.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: blam

thanks, bfl


18 posted on 03/03/2008 6:25:48 PM PST by neverdem (I have to hope for a brokered GOP Convention. It can't get any worse.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: blam
Men Have A Harder Time Forgiving Than Women Do

According to my experiemces, I strongly disagree.

19 posted on 03/03/2008 6:26:59 PM PST by upsdriver
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: martin_fierro

great line.


20 posted on 03/03/2008 6:28:28 PM PST by ncalburt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-91 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson