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Marry Him! The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough
Atlantic Monthly ^ | March 2008 | Lori Gottlieb

Posted on 02/14/2008 6:25:05 AM PST by reaganaut1

About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadn’t met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.

“Ah, this is the dream,” I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: we’d both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).

(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: betteroffsingle; culturewar; danquaylewasright; family; feminazis; genx; gottlieb; love; marriage; murphybrown; murphybrownwasawhore; quaylewasajerk; relationships; savethemales; singlemothers
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To: reaganaut1; Malacoda; Mamzelle; MitchellC; oldteen; coop71; timm22; Hildy; HairOfTheDog; ...
Seems we have an inflated opinion of ourselves if we wait for love and like our own company ;)


41 posted on 02/14/2008 7:09:08 AM PST by najida (I am so grateful that stupid isn't contagious.)
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To: Ken522

Well,
there is quanity and then there is quality....

Lots of bad is still...
well, bad.


42 posted on 02/14/2008 7:10:18 AM PST by najida (I am so grateful that stupid isn't contagious.)
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To: piytar

Related article re: child support aka debtors’ prison for men: http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1970170/posts


43 posted on 02/14/2008 7:10:41 AM PST by piytar
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To: Bear_Slayer
For men: There is no such thing as bad sex.

There sure is. I can give you names if you like. mostly it's not physical, but emotional. There are a lot of neurotic people in the world and 51% are women.

44 posted on 02/14/2008 7:15:03 AM PST by Soliton
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To: NCLaw441

“Marry the person you could not spend the rest of your life WITHOUT.”

Great advice.


45 posted on 02/14/2008 7:15:06 AM PST by riverdawg
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To: najida

On Valentine’s Day, no less...


46 posted on 02/14/2008 7:20:25 AM PST by RosieCotton (A place for everything and everything in its place - 2008 Resolution #1)
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To: JenB
If your “Mr. Right Template” is set up so you don’t settle for Mr. Wrong, then it’s a good thing.

Very well said!

47 posted on 02/14/2008 7:21:11 AM PST by JoanVarga ("¿Por qué no te calles?")
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To: najida

I suspect the ditz who wrote this drivel was too in love with herself to see a great guy right in front of her. Too bad for her.


48 posted on 02/14/2008 7:21:25 AM PST by tioga (Beware: conservative with back to the wall. Proceed with extreme caution.)
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To: RosieCotton

Well,
I love you and think you’re special.

Keep waiting hun, it IS worth it.


49 posted on 02/14/2008 7:21:28 AM PST by najida (I am so grateful that stupid isn't contagious.)
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To: reaganaut1

My advise to single women who want to find a mate...don’t have bastard children.

No self respecting man wants to provide for the progeny of another. He won’t love the progeny of another the way that he loves his own. He won’t make the sacrifices for the progeny of another the way he will for his own.

You want stability...don’t marry a man who has children with another woman.


50 posted on 02/14/2008 7:22:00 AM PST by Ouderkirk (Hillary = Senator Incitatus, Clintigula's whore...er, horse.)
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Comment #51 Removed by Moderator

To: reaganaut1
For one thing, studies have shown they have better sex lives than single people.

Depressing thought, isn't it...

52 posted on 02/14/2008 7:22:26 AM PST by Philistone (If someone tells you it's for the children, he believes that YOU are a child.)
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To: Non-Sequitur
How many men have settled for Miss “Oh my God I’ll never drink again”?

I met Miss Right and married her. I should have paid more attention to her first name. It turns out that the nickname Ali stood for Always and not Alison. :=)

53 posted on 02/14/2008 7:23:27 AM PST by Bob
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To: Ken522
Well, they do get it more often.

That is the same thing, right?
54 posted on 02/14/2008 7:24:04 AM PST by TalonDJ
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To: -=SoylentSquirrel=-
I get married in 16 days, I'll get back to everyone with my results!

Just a little advice.

Do it more than tell about it. No one except your spouse really cares.

55 posted on 02/14/2008 7:24:27 AM PST by USS Alaska (Nuke the terrorist savages - In Honor of Standing Wolf)
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To: reaganaut1

I don’t think this poor woman should be giving advice to anyone.


56 posted on 02/14/2008 7:25:22 AM PST by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: reaganaut1

“settling for Mr. Good Enough”

How about, settling for Mrs. Good Enough?


57 posted on 02/14/2008 7:25:48 AM PST by PurpleMan
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To: MrB
If women were MORE choosy (about whom they marry, choose to have kids with, etc), men would have to have better character.

The thing is that with all that relitivism a lot of folks no longer know HOW to be more choosy. They are not picking the right criteria and are getting burned.
58 posted on 02/14/2008 7:26:24 AM PST by TalonDJ
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To: Soliton

There is such thing as bad sex for men. I can add to that name list too.


59 posted on 02/14/2008 7:29:47 AM PST by KC_Conspirator
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To: reaganaut1
Of course, we’d be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably won’t tell you it’s a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, she’ll say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).

Too freaking LATE!

60 posted on 02/14/2008 7:29:57 AM PST by 2banana (My common ground with terrorists - they want to die for islam and we want to kill them)
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