Financially-Strapped Vatican Opens Its First-Ever Shopping Mall

Breitbart ^ | March 22, 2023 | Thomas D. Williams

[SgtHooper]

Guess where checkout is. The confessional, and at which a credit card reader is provided therein. And, the more you charge, the more you are getting closer to God! And don’t forget the poor pets.

[ebb tide]

A city-state which covers only 109 acres. And the mall is situated on the top of a parking garage which was built with public funding.

[Faith Presses On]

Everything Made in Italy?

[WKUHilltopper]

What time is Bingo?

[ebb tide]

I’m curious as to whether Bergoglio’s mall will be open on Sundays.

[BipolarBob]

When you give up on sin, it’s kinda hard to sell indulgences.
I'm not giving up on sin, in fact I'm going all in . The scapular I bought says I will not eternal fire. I putting my faith in these two pieces of cloth connected by a string.

/sarc

[HYPOCRACY]

Fair enough. Is the fake pope gonna bless Gucci loafers and Prada bags?

[HYPOCRACY]

I gotta get my bid in to paint the ceiling.

[oldasrocks]

Next is a place that teaches you both how to sin and to beg forgiveness.

[Lee N. Field]

Where is the “Indulgences Store”?

You get those through the website now. There's an app....

< /sarc>

[fortes fortuna juvat]

What time is Bingo?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
BINGO! That there was a funny one!

[ebb tide]

I’m curious as to whether Bergoglio’s mall will be open on Sundays.

Never mind. I found the answer.

Chick-Fil-A is more catholic than Bergoglio.

[fortes fortuna juvat]

I’m curious as to whether Bergoglio’s mall will be open on Sundays.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Open 24/7 all year round EXCEPT Kwanzaa Day and June 28.

[fortes fortuna juvat]

Is the fake pope gonna bless Gucci loafers and Prada bags?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
Of course he will because those items are as fake as he is. They’re knock-offs produced in the slums of Naples by the Camorra Mafia in the region of Campania!

[ebb tide]

Bergoglio's mall will even be open on Good Friday and Easter Sunday.

But no Triduum TLM Masses will be allowed anywhere, per the capitalist dictator pope.

[MayflowerMadam]

Tacky. We left a church because they were selling banana bread to raise money. Jesus has a problem with merchandising in church. Y’think He might just stop by the Vatican Mall and start kicking over checkout counters?

[irishjuggler]

A great irony that the pope who hates Latin mass opens a mall with Latin name. Caput mundi? Ha, more like Spiritus Mundi.

[MikelTackNailer]

After an exhaustive search the pontiff's financial advisors found the right individual to oversee the mall project:

"...a baptismal kiddie pool in the communion food court next to the all-nun Hooters."

[Texas_Guy]

We could call it “Mad Marty’s Eternal Security. Go forth and sin boldly!”