80 Per Cent Decline in Religious Funerals as Mourners Opt for Golf Courses and Zoos Over Churches

The Daily Telegraph (UK) ^ | 8/29/19 | Gabriella Swerling

[dp0622]

I want to buried under a casino as casinos have put me under so often.

[Texas resident]

My wish:

Cremated. Floated out on a raft into the Gulf of Mexico with lots of explosives. My son and his buds his the trigger.

BOOM.

SEE YA!

[Texas resident]

HIS=HIT

[Salvation]

How do they bury someone at a zoo or golf course?

No connection with God who created them?

[Salvation]

Even cremated ashes must be buried. It is the respect and dignity during to the body that God created.

[Yaelle]

Europe is pretty much secular now. It’s changed so much in 20 years.

[Yaelle]

That is a hilarious line!

[lee martell]

I have no way to prove it, but I’ll just bet you some wealthy people have already been buried at either Disneyland or Disneyworld. Of course that’s ‘highly irregular!”, but when you can flash enough of those dollar bills, that changes almost everything.

[ebb tide]

How do they bury someone at a zoo or golf course?

In the sand traps?

[Texas resident]

Yeah but it is fun to think about.

Ashes to ashes, dust to salt water.

[davius]

My epitaph:

Never Joined a Union. Never Will.

[FreeperCell]

We need to send missionaries over there to save the good ones. What if we were in their spot?

[dp0622]

You Texans are kind of crazy :)

[dp0622]

If only it wasn’t true :)

[Yaelle]

I don’t know why but gamblers have the best senses of humor

[Pontiac]

Instead of services in crematoriums, churches and cemeteries, Britons are instead opting for increasingly quirky ways to mourn their loved ones.

Mother Mary warned the children of Fatima of the “Souls falling in to Hell like snowflakes.”

I fear that it has become a blizzard.

[dp0622]

That’s because we’ve been as low as one can get so many times that we have to keep a sense of humor to keep from blowing our brains out :)

[A strike]

The deceased and all of us will in that day have a whole lot of (totally unjustified) explaining to do.

[Salvation]

Or pray a lot to keep our brains encased.