Book reveals Tom Cruise's Scientology mission: Defeat the aliens

Examiner ^ | 13 January 2013 | Michael Santo

[Cronos]

..The new book, "Going Clear: Scientology, Hollywood, and the Prison of Belief," describes Tom Cruise's life in Scientology. Much of it is probably obvious to people with knowledge of the controversial organization: Cruise has signed a billion year contract with Scientology, and like all members, has the ultimate goal of protecting humanity from aliens living in our bodies, aliens who are bent on destroying us and Earth.

It's all good, though: Scientology and its practices gives Cruise the ability to "go clear," which means he will be "free of the influence of engrams, unwanted emotions or painful traumas not readily available to the conscious mind." Without Clear, naturally, Cruise wouldn't be much use fighting against those aliens.

..Currently, it's believed that Cruise ranks no. 3 in the organization, behind only the organization's founder, the late L. Ron Hubbard (LRH), and no. 2 David Miscavige who goes by COB, for Chairman of the Board of the Religious Technology Center.

[Cronos]

Hubbard's book "Dianetics," published in 1950, spent 28 weeks on The New York Times best-seller list and became the philosophical basis of the Church of Scientology, which he established four years later. According to its creation myth an intergalactic despot named Xenu brought billions of his people to Earth 75 million years ago and killed them using hydrogen bombs; their souls encumber Earth's inhabitants today, and only Scientology can liberate us.

[Doogle]

"..aliens.....ooooookay"

[pepsionice]

Scientology can only liberate you....if you have cash. Otherwise, you will remain held by the evil over-under-doers.

[MestaMachine]

“Dianetics” was a gazillion page ad for scientology that stupid people paid to read...and the philosophy was just as old as the book was long, i.e. “There’s a sucker born every minute.”

[JoeProBono]

[AnAmericanAbroad]

Scientology can only liberate you....from your cash.

Fixed that for you.

[Casie]

What makes Hollyweirdos so pathetically idiotic? Do you think the place makes them crazy? Or do you think you have to ALREADY be crazy to be successful there? Maybe the easiest way to be good in front of a camera is to literally be so stupid that you NEED writers to tell you who you are.

Really Tom? Xenu? Naaaw, man. The Great Pumpkin gobbled him up like figgy pudding on Christmas morning. I'm as clear as a bell, baby.

[St_Thomas_Aquinas]

I'm free of aliens, and I didn't have to spend a penny.

Take that, Xenu!

[Cronos]

it's that we give them too much importance

They are actors, not heroes

Too much importance and too much money -- who cares what Sean Penn thinks of politics -- he's not the greatest mind out there....

[Sir Napsalot]

Yes, I wholeheartedly endorse TC’s life long mission.

Maybe that will shut him up on the crazies earthly, esp in the US.

[WKB]

“has the ultimate goal of protecting humanity from aliens living in our bodies”

I wonder if The Holy Spirit is considered an alien being?

[Safrguns]

The interesting thing to me about Scientology is that it fits in with end time prophecies in the bible. Maybe not perfectly, but close.

Specifically, alien invasion/abduction/visitation will be somehow the explanation to the world why 250 million people suddenly vanished.

Just a thought.

[RetSignman]

[Notary Sojac]

I was asked to sign a billion year contract with Scientology.

Unfortunately I have a vacation booked for August, 11,283 AD, so I had to decline. Did I luck out??

[Notary Sojac]

I was asked to sign a billion year contract with Scientology.

Unfortunately I have a vacation booked for August, 11,283 AD, so I had to decline. Did I luck out??

[Dr. Sivana]

Mr. Cruise, your next vital mission is to destroy David Bowie, a man known to be in full cooperation with aliens, and may well BE an alien.