Kevorkian for Kongress

CMR ^ | July 8, 2008 | Patrick Archbold

[NYer]

Well, It's official. Jack Kevorkian, Dr. Death, is on the ballot in Michigan in his run for the U.S. Congress.

[Det. news] Jack Kevorkian -- nicknamed "Dr. Death" for the high-profile assisted suicides he performed -- gathered enough valid signatures to be on the November ballot and try to unseat veteran Rep. Joe Knollenberg, the chief of elections for Oakland County said Monday.

"He has enough qualifying petition signatures," said Joe Rozell, director of elections for Oakland County. "They are valid."

Now we realize that Dr. Death's campaign is an uphill battle. Therefore, we once again make our offer to the Kevorkian Kampaign to provide, free of charge, all his campaign's promotional material. Here is a sampling.

[NYer]

C’mon freepers! Post your recommendations for campaign slogans.

[KarlInOhio]

Kevorkian: I'm coming for you Senator Byrd!

[antiRepublicrat]

Look Jack, there’s Ted, an old guy with cancer...

Maybe we want Jack in office. :)

[thepatriot1]

A Candidate with Real Solutions for the Social Security Crisis

[Free Descendant]

You know he really ought to dress up the machine more, it’s kinda drab and depressing, don’t you think? Some color, perhaps some cartoon characters would be fun. Maybe add another bottle with red wine in it or something.

[DannyTN]

The day that we elect people to congress based on their position that people should be allowed to kill us, is a sad day indeed.

[TheSarce]

If he’s well enough to run for Congress, he’s well enough to go back to prison to finish out his sentence. Lock him back up now or charge him and his lawyer with fraud. (By the way, love the campaign material— really nails it.)

[DannyTN]

"Post your recommendations for campaign slogans."

• Kevorkian, the last vote you'll ever need.
• Suicide, not war!
• Kervorkian, the ultimate green. 0 use of natural resources, and fertilized lawns.
• Energy Crisis? Just say no!
• It's LIFE Stupid!

[DannyTN]

And of course,

• Hope, Change, Unity, Death

[NeoCaveman]

Kevorkian: Would it kill you to vote for him?

Kevorkian: It wouldn’t kill you to vote for him?

Are taxes killing you? Let Kevorkian help.

[DannyTN]

• Kevorkian, Hanging Chad's welcome!

[ErnBatavia]

For a guy that was supposedly at death’s door while in the slammer, he’s apparently recovered nicely...

[dfwgator]

Kevorkian - I’ll really impose term limits on Congress

[DannyTN]

• "Old people have a duty to die and get out of the way"

...with apologies to the Colorado Governor who said it first.

[DannyTN]

• Death to Lawyers!

Hmmmmm, he sounds good when you put it that way.

[DannyTN]

• Drink the koolaid
• I'm dead, you're dead.
• Death, the end of class warfare.
• Whoever said nothing was avoidable except death and taxes, wasn't dead yet.
• Death for a tax-free America.
• Nobody speaks spanish when they're dead.
• Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be dead..."
• As for me, give me liberty to die or give me death.
• I regret I have but one life to take for this country.

[MaineConservative]

Post your recommendations for campaign slogans.

Kevorkian - If you think Dennis Kucinich is to CONSERVATIVE!

[DannyTN]

• Grim Reaper's, a keeper!
• To Die or not to Die, that is the question.
• Give it a try, to live and let die. (beatles)
• When everyone's dead, we won't need government! (That's got to make a lot of freepers think twice)

[DannyTN]

• Kervorkian, any flip-flops are just reflexes.

[MortMan]

Can we simply purchase his services for them - at least for the 91% who are outbalancing the 9% approval rating of congress? /sarcasm

[Free Descendant]

If it feels bad, do it!

[IrishMike]

My tag line...........

Obama stands for change. He wants to change the subject.

[fortunecookie]

"Old people have a duty to die and get out of the way"

For an 'old' guy himself, who's 'burdened' the system and those around him with his own illness, he's pretty excited to 'help' other people die.

[fortunecookie]

Kevorkian: Killing us with Kindness.

Kevorkian: A lifetime commitment to assisting others.

Kevorkian: The Can-do guy.

Kevorkian: Kindness and Chemistry, a winning combination.

[DannyTN]

Kervorkian: Not Left, Not Right, Just six feet under.

[fortunecookie]

LOL, a sad lol. Perhaps he’s working on a plan to help with the resultant demand on cemetery space, he’s good with the chemicals, I hear. And, hey, if he can make ‘disposal’ environmentally friendly, well, win-win for him. Ugh.

[70th Division]

Didn’t he get out early because he was in ill health? How can an X con run for office? anybody know?

[DannyTN]

Campaign Songs:

• Swing Low Sweet Chariot
• Don't fear the Reaper (Blue Oyster Cult)
• Anything by the Grateful Dead
• I'm Moving On (Hank Snow, for use in rural areas)

[antiRepublicrat]

How can an X con run for office? anybody know?

25 years old, 7 years a citizen and an inhabitant of the state at the time of the election. Those are all of the qualifications, no more, no less, except with amendment. AFAIK, the only valid disqualification is in the 14th Amendment for engaging in rebellion.

[DannyTN]

Yeah, now that I think about it, the “Old People” slogan might hurt Kervorkian and McCain, and help Obama.

[fortunecookie]

LOL, only if Kevorkian practices what he preaches. Not going to happen. So McCain could use that to his advantage.

[fortunecookie]

Oh, lol. There are far too many. And don’t forget Cobain and Nirvana’s music certain younger voters.

[DannyTN]

Kervorkian: Arkancide is for amateurs

[the invisib1e hand]

well, the marketplace has certainly validated the existence of a “culture of death.”

[Salvation]

**on the ballot in Michigan in his run for the U.S. Congres**

Michigan voters need to kick him out of the election.

[Salvation]

Oregon Ping

Please notify me via FReepmail if you would like to be added to or taken off the Oregon Ping List.

[LayoutGuru2]

Life is overrated

[8mmMauser]

Pinged from Terri Dailies

8mm

[DannyTN]

"well, the marketplace has certainly validated the existence of a “culture of death.”"

I was just thinking that he could tap into goth clubs as local campaign headquarters.

[Teófilo]

Kure the Kountry with Kevorkian!

[dangus]

Abortion... It isn’t just for babies any more.