Posted on 05/04/2008 5:38:22 AM PDT by Monk Dimittis
My mother-in-law, a Roman Catholic, was at it again. Just before Christmas, I was informed that the Church of England was started by Henry VIII because he wanted a divorce, and that the reason that the Episcopal Church has its homosexual problem is all due to married clergy. Thank God for monogamy, because one mother-in-law is quite enough. The saddest man in the Bible had to have been King Solomon with about a thousand of them to deal with. It should have been enough to put a king off of sex, since each bride probably had a mother. But, enough about my mother-in-law; we have enough Anglicans to worry about who believe this same stuff.
The second point is easy to answer, since the Orthodox have had married clergy for two thousand years, and their married clergy can beat up Rome's celibate clergy any day of the week (perhaps we could prove this at the Church of the Nativity next Boxing Day). Try to find just one child molester or Vickie Gene imitator among those bearded fathers of the EOC. They did find one-once- and they threw him overboard immediately; they even burned his vestments as defiled. My mother-in-law should not be expected to know that Rome's all celibate clergy rule, not married clergy, is the experiment (and a failed experiment it is too). But, Anglicans should know it. No, the Henry thing is what takes more time to answer.
The ancient Celtic British Christians and the Anglo-Saxon Christians unified into one Ecclesia Anglicana (Church of England) at the Council of Hertford in 673 AD. Many centuries later Henry VIII did his thing, and it died shortly after his son did. Then Queen Mary (after whom a mixed drink is named) lit up England by burning Protestants at the stake, executing so many people in her brief reign that it took her sister, Queen Elisabeth, fifty years just to catch up on the executions, showing that sibling rivalry takes patience and perseverance. It is this second sister that must take center stage.
My mother-in-law is a hopeless case when it comes to setting the record straight, because her warped version of history was taught to her as if it was religious dogma (which I suspect it was). Bloody Mary has been removed from the picture Orwell style, the same way Bobby Kennedy never shows up in the films or photographs from his time as Joe McCarthy's right hand man. But, for Anglicans themselves, it is time to set the record straight once and for all.
The king of Spain saw England as a blossoming rival empire, and so he gave in to his rage about the fate of Queen Catherine of Aragon, the little Spanish lady who got ditched by King Henry for the sexy Anne Boleyn with her green sleeves and six fingers on each hand (Henry must have been turned on by strange things- twelve fingers in all- wow!). Using the unhappy treatment of Catherine as an excuse, or else as a reason many years after the fact, the unhappy Hapsborg brought all his pressure to bear on the pope, insisting that the Church stand up to the English for letting the daughter of six fingered Annie reign after Mary died. The pope issued a decree that the Faithful in England were to rise up, start a civil war, and murder their monarch. It was their Christian duty, damn it, to weaken their own kingdom so that the king of Spain could sail over and conquer them in the chaos. As a result, when the people of England rebelled against this, their Christian duty to take up the sword against friends and neighbors, and to destroy themselves in the process, that the pope excommunicated the Church of England. For a whole generation it was treason to be loyal to the pope- it really was treason too. Think about it.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dogs and cats, Jews and Greeks, is how Anglicanism was born.
Now, if you need a little more to think about, just remember that God sunk the Armada, and that shows whose side HE was on.
Put that in your thurible and smoke it.
ping
For a second I thought this was serious. Thanks for posting the satire. Gave me a good chuckle.
Your analysis is somewhat entertaining. I am not sure if it is a rant against catholicism or irritation at your mother in law!
I wish I had time to take you to task on some of your points! LOL!
God had decided that the English were not worthy of being part of the true Communion.
Go see The Other Boleyn Girl and you see that King Henry was the early role model for Willie Jeff Clinton. Instead of interns, they called them official mistresses. First he took Mary Boleyn, then later knocked up the sister Ann too. The only difference is the slickmeister didnt invent his own morally bankrupt church.
I didn't know the Episcopal Church had a problem with Homosexual clergy. I thought ,as with most contemporary moral issues ,rather than confront them head on they just declared them to not be a sin at all!
Wow, an Episcopalian minister on crack. Who would have thunk it?
“Try to find just one child molester or Vickie Gene imitator among those bearded fathers of the EOC.”
Okay. Here’s one: http://orthodoxreform.org/cases/fr-nicholas-katinas/fifth-greek-american-joins-in-child-molestation-suit-against-katinas/
And another (maybe): http://sbn-nathanael.livejournal.com/58993.html
Married clergy is no a guarantee to end problems. Even rabbis, most of whom are married, have been caught molesting kids: http://edition.cnn.com/2007/US/07/09/child.molester/index.html
LOL!!!
Father Hart in the comments: "I began to write this in all seriousness, but it just gets too tiresome without the humorous tone."
Anglican ping.
““Try to find just one child molester or Vickie Gene imitator among those bearded fathers of the EOC.”
Oh, we’ve got our share, enough so we refer to the “pink rasos crowd” and everyone knows what we mean, even down in Greece! :)
I prefer to accept God's protection of England as proof the the C of E was indeed part of the divine plan. Remember the Armada was huge and meant to take down England and thereby return it to the Roman church
Also remember that after Henry, Mary's widespread executions were of the reformers by the Pope's proponents, for Mary took the church back to Rome for a short while. She was RC all the way and believed “my way or the highway” (guillotine and burning stake)
I admire Robert Hart’s defense of Anglicanism against the revisionist heresies being embraced by TEC. But on this he is wrong. There is enough historical research available for those who wish to find out the truth it should not be difficult to verify or challenge his claims.
I recommend “Stripping of The Altars” By Eamon Duffy as a good place to learn about England’s change from a Catholic to Protestant country.
Henry broke from Rome in 1534. The radical Protestants gained control under Edward in the early 1550's. The Armada was in 1588. You do the math.
Philip of Spain became king-consort of England in 1554 when he married Mary I.
In 1556 he became King of Spain, but chose to stay in England.
In 1558 Mary died. Philip, desperate to retain English residency, proposed to Elizabeth I. She rejected him, and he was deported to Spain.
He then spent the rest of his life trying to get back in, but as the Channel is wider then the Rio Grande, he failed,
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Speak the truth in love. Eph 4:15
First there was Catherine of Aragon, then Ann Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard, the cousin of Ann Boleyn, and Catherine Parr...
No. He decided that England should remain part of the true communion. God didn’t want Spain to conquer England and destroy the blessed Reformation.
Pardon me, I forgot the sarcasm tags ;)
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