not fatherless by choice (how it feels to be the offspring of a sperm donor)

Off the Record ^ | December 18, 2006 | Diogenes

[NYer]

This woman conceived this child without a father on purpose. That's the difference.

Thank you for verbalizing this in your inimitable manner! Yes indeed, that is the difference. Self gratification with absolutely no concern for the resulting offspring of her greed.

moral relativism says, "As long as the woman and the man consent, it's o.k." and forgot all about the children.

Bingo!

She is reminding those who would deliberately deprive a child of a parent that there is a price, and the price is paid by the child.

Absolutely right!!

[NYer]

Now that he knows I exist, I'm okay

This is the most tragic aspect of children raised without Fathers. As a young child, I had a 'father figure' in my grandfather who was father to my 'uncle' (only 2 years older than me. We lived in an extended family). But I so desperately wanted a father of my own! At night, I would pray to our Lord and ask Him to be my Father. When I was 5, my mother took me to Rome and told me to pick out a souvenir. I chose a 2' plaster cast statue of the Sacred Heart which we eventually transported back to the US. Each time we moved (about 10 times), that statue was lovingly packed up. Eventually, it simply fell apart from its poor construction.

At age 8, my mother married and I was adopted by her husband. That fulfilled the dream of having a father but generated a new dilemna as he has never been baptized into any faith.

We live in such a convoluted world. May the Sacred Heart of Jesus have mercy on these fatherless children!

[beelzepug]

I am not a Roman Catholic but my position on such things as marriage, faithfulness, abortion, child-raising, and so forth pretty much mirrors the teachings of the Catholic Church, and I've enjoyed reading your very instructive posts since I've been a member here on Free Republic. Could you clarify what you said? Does the church prohibit the artificial insemination of the wife with the sperm of her husband? If so, why, and how is this any different from any other medical procedure? If the love is there, and the desire to raise the child, and no adultery has occurred, where is the sin? Thanks for your response.

[NYer]

Thank you for the ping and post!

Does the church prohibit the artificial insemination of the wife with the sperm of her husband? If so, why, and how is this any different from any other medical procedure? If the love is there, and the desire to raise the child, and no adultery has occurred, where is the sin?

The response comes from the Cathechism of the Catholic Church.

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The gift of a child

2373 Sacred Scripture and the Church's traditional practice see in large families a sign of God's blessing and the parents' generosity.[162]

2374 Couples who discover that they are sterile suffer greatly. "What will you give me," asks Abraham of God, "for I continue childless?"[163] And Rachel cries to her husband Jacob, "Give me children, or I shall die!"[164]

2375 Research aimed at reducing human sterility is to be encouraged, on condition that it is placed "at the service of the human person, of his inalienable rights, and his true and integral good according to the design and will of God."[165]

2376 Techniques that entail the dissociation of husband and wife, by the intrusion of a person other than the couple (donation of sperm or ovum, surrogate uterus), are gravely immoral. These techniques (heterologous artificial insemination and fertilization) infringe the child's right to be born of a father and mother known to him and bound to each other by marriage. They betray the spouses' "right to become a father and a mother only through each other."[166]

2377 Techniques involving only the married couple (homologous artificial insemination and fertilization) are perhaps less reprehensible, yet remain morally unacceptable. They dissociate the sexual act from the procreative act. The act which brings the child into existence is no longer an act by which two persons give themselves to one another, but one that "entrusts the life and identity of the embryo into the power of doctors and biologists and establishes the domination of technology over the origin and destiny of the human person. Such a relationship of domination is in itself contrary to the dignity and equality that must be common to parents and children."[167] "Under the moral aspect procreation is deprived of its proper perfection when it is not willed as the fruit of the conjugal act, that is to say, of the specific act of the spouses' union .... Only respect for the link between the meanings of the conjugal act and respect for the unity of the human being make possible procreation in conformity with the dignity of the person."[168]

2378 A child is not something owed to one, but is a gift. The "supreme gift of marriage" is a human person. A child may not be considered a piece of property, an idea to which an alleged "right to a child" would lead. In this area, only the child possesses genuine rights: the right "to be the fruit of the specific act of the conjugal love of his parents," and "the right to be respected as a person from the moment of his conception."[169]

2379 The Gospel shows that physical sterility is not an absolute evil. Spouses who still suffer from infertility after exhausting legitimate medical procedures should unite themselves with the Lord's Cross, the source of all spiritual fecundity. They can give expression to their generosity by adopting abandoned children or performing demanding services for others.

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You can read the complete section on sexual relations at this link.

ARTICLE 6 - THE SIXTH COMMANDMENT

[neb52]

It was also explained to me that they fertilize multiple eggs at a time. If one of the first ones "takes" the other embryos are then destroyed. Since the Church's teaching is that an embryo is life then the destroyed embryos is destruction of life.

[bboop]

Of course the Catholic Church is against this -- look at the tremendous chaos it causes. Just because it is legal doesn't make it moral.

At the same time, if this person were in different circumstances, she would not have the time to devote to her angst. Life is tough, right from the git-go for many. There are always children who are orphaned and abandoned right from birth; the challenge is always to make yourself a life from what you started with, is it not?

[baa39]

In other words, paraphrasing simply, the essence of the Catholic teaching: the only moral method for the conception of a child is on a bed of sacramentally married love.

[Bramuce]

Thanks

[Mr. Silverback]

There are so many Christians, of every stripe, who should meditate on the first few lines of that catechism entry. So many people have forgotten that large families are something every great man and woman of faith regarded as wonderful.

[Mr. Silverback]

There are always children who are orphaned and abandoned right from birth; the challenge is always to make yourself a life from what you started with, is it not?

I find it strange that so many Freepers take every written expression of regret as wallowing. Where did this girl say she can't go on with her life because of this situation? She's just sating it sucks to grow up with an unknown sperm donor as a Dad, not that it's the end of the world.

[Mr. Silverback]

I think what American Mother has said to you is spot on.

[Mr. Silverback]

ProLife Ping!

If anyone wants on or off my ProLife Ping List, please notify me here or by freepmail.

[Jaded]

Just another knee-jerk reaction this Christmas Season. You should see some of the others from today.

Many people not on this forum have had that same reaction to the girl. OTOH, if she were in that much despair, it seems unlikely that she would be writing an article that landed in the WP.

[Question_Assumptions]

The sad thing about feminist brainwashing is that she seems to know it's at least part of the problem but can't bring herself to point to it as a problem.