Posted on 03/10/2005 12:55:04 PM PST by kaehurowing
AN EPISCOBABBLE DICTIONARY (ABRIDGED)
Ever had that feeling you just don't understand what's going on with the Episcopal Church these days? Well, you're not alone. Part of the problem is that the bishops and clergy of the ECUSA use their own language to communicate with each other. If you don't understand the terminology, you won't be able to follow what is happening.
Accordingly, presented for the public's consideration and use is this abridged EpiscoBabble Dictionary, compiled in an effort to shine light on an often murky situation. Armed with this tool, the next speech or sermon of the Presiding Bishop (whether relating to the sinfulness of the Bush Administration budget or the continuing need to dialogue with other members of the Anglican Communion) should be crystal clear with just a modicum of translation.
[Term -- Actual meaning in Standard English]
"acceptance" -- I'm ok, you're ok, so long as you're not "judgmental" (see below).
"authentic" -- what we like.
"Christian fellowship" -- Making sure those pledges come in and punishing those churches who don't support 815.
"consider the diverse center" -- paying attention to everyone but orthodox Christians.
"converse" -- ignore; see "dialogue" below.
"dialogue" -- stall; ignore.
"do a new thing" -- promoting non-Christian teachings and practices and saying that God is behind them.
"ECUSA Canons" -- Replacement for the Bible.
"Eight-Fifteen (815)" -- The national church offices in New York City
"faith journey" -- "if it feels good, do it."
"God" -– (referred to in masculine/feminine/neuter); a force field or "higher power"; sometimes visualized as "Gaia" or "Mother Earth." Moral equivalent of Buddha, Allah, Krishna and other deities.
"Jesus" -– Kindly philosopher / mythical figure who is supposed founder of Christianity. Similar to Buddha, Muhammad.
"inner yearnings" -- Man's sinful nature, which ECUSA now calls good (see "reaffirmation and acceptance")and re-packages as a spiritual faith journey for fulfillment.
"invite" -- varied meanings, all the way from "ignore" to "condemn," often used so that each person hears a different meaning; synonym "request."
"judgmental" -- Belief in moral standards or absolutes; believing the Bible has authority.
"listen to the new leadings of the Spirit" -- to ignore Scripture and traditional church teachings
"pluriform truths" -- Islam, Sufism, Hinduism, Druidism, Paganism, etc., which are really just like Christianity if you think about it long enough
"progressive liturgies" -- Updated church services, especially those which incorporate feminist, wiccan, pagan and druidic elements.
"reaffirmation and acceptance" -- There is no "sin" in the old judgmental sense; God actually approves of everything we do, or he wouldn't have made us this way.
"regret" -- A term commonly used by ECUSA when it objectively realizes that something occurred which somebody else may not have liked, often coupled with a predicate in the past perfect passive, e.g., "we regret that mistakes were made." Does not imply any sort of guilt or wrongdoing by the person who is regretting. Not to be confused with the judgmental term "repent."
"scripture" -- Pretty parts of the Psalms; I Corinthians 13:4-13. The rest is either mythical, ethnocentric, judgmental, non-affirming, heterosexist, homophobic or anti-feminist, and therefore is not authentic (see above).
"sin" -- Driving SUVs, voting for George Bush in the 2004 election, eating at Taco Bell, opposing gay marriage, not opposing drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge, being judgmental (see above) or intolerant.
"Spirit" – Ephemeral being who communicates present teachings of ECUSA to selected bishops and other clergy. The First Part of the ECUSA Trinity, which also includes Creator/Gaia/Sophia and Affirmer/Jesus/Mary Magdalene. (Not to be confused with "Holy Spirit," which does not exist and is a judgmental mythical construct which creates guilt and lack of self-esteem.)
"tolerance" -- acceptance of all theologies except orthodox Christianity, which is by definition "intolerant."
"unity" -- monolithic apostasy, as in "heresy is better than schism."
"walking alone" -- A process by which reactionary churches of Asia and Africa refuse to have anything to do with the progressive modern members of the Anglican Communion such as ECUSA and the Anglican Church of Canada, despite the sincere brotherly and sisterly efforts of those progressive churches. A shism caused by less-enlightened members of the Anglican Communion due to application of intolerant and judgmental principles. Antonym: "unity."
Postscript: This is but a humble attempt of the compiler to capture the intellectual grandeur and intricacy of Episcobabble. Readers are free to disseminate, elucidate and amend. No copyright or intellectual property right is claimed by the compiler, who seeks only to spread understanding and enlightenment.
I'd be laughing hysterically, if I weren't crying.
"Spirit"...Not to be confused with "Holy Spirit," which does not exist and is a judgmental mythical construct which creates guilt and lack of self-esteem.
In my Episcopal church the libs/fems/glbs etc practically scream out SHE during the nicene creed for the Holy Spirit. I guess that is their compromise with us reactionaries.
"We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son HE is worshiped and glorified.
HE has spoken through the Prophets."
Additional dictionary entry:
"Holy Communion:" Spiritual vitamins
Now you see, if you said it the way the Fathers wrote it, there wouldn't be this problem:
"We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Giver of Life, Who proceeds from the Father; Who together with the Father and the Son is worshipped and glorified; Who spoke through the Prophets."
Change the procession of the Holy Spirit and all kinds of strange things happen! :)
Traditional Anglican ping, continued in memory of its founder Arlin Adams. Thank you for the ping!
Funny thing - most of those terms and their definitions are quite standard with all too many priest, nuns, and Bishops of the Roman Catholic Church in this country.
Now my question is: did our guys learn from yours........or did your guys learn from ours? Or do they all frequent the same clubs?
It would be really funny - were it not so patheticly true!
I suspect they hang out in the same clubs...
"I suspect they hang out in the same clubs..."
LOL
I'm not sure I want to know what clubs those are.
Great post!
Do we get to see the New Yorker cartoon where Moloch is appearing on the altar and the man says to his wife, "That's it, now I'm REALLY finished with the Episcopal Church" - LOL! I'm Catholic, but I really sympathize with you all because this must be enormously trying, all joking aside.
Duh. You know better than that.
And while I do prefer the English you use, it has nothing to do with the presence or absence of Filioque:
"We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Giver of Life, Who proceeds from the Father and the Son; Who together with the Father and the Son is worshipped and glorified; Who spoke through the Prophets."
See? It works just as well either way.
And the feminazis can still pound sand.
I think Mark Morford could probably tell you all about those 'clubs'.
ROFL That's good.
I am old enough to have observed that the reason this church exists is social status, doctrine ? Uuuuh what is that.
This humble writer is honored that people have come to consult his modest work, presumably in an attempt to understand what occurred in the recent General Convention.
This humble writer would be the first to admit, however, that his abridged lexicon is sadly out of date (having been posted here in March of 2005).
Numerous other terms should be added in a revised and expanded second edition, including some of this writer's favorites used and over-used at General Convention, including:
"living into. . ." -- the writer must admit this one totally baffles him, but it was certainly one of the most-used phrases in the past week.
"conscience" -- disobedience or defiance, as in "a statement of conscience" issued by the Rt. Rev. Chane and others.
"integrity" -- apostasy
"prophetic" -- it's our way or the highway
"flawed paradigm" -- relying upon scripture or 2000 years of church tradition to address an issue rather than "doing a new thing"
"full inclusion" -- so long as ya' got sprinkled as an infant you are entitled to all offices in the church, no matter what your personal behavior or moral standards are; in fact, upon reflection baptism is optional since one of our bishops isn't even baptized (Tanner).
"moratorium" -- a representation that we will not do something for a nanosecond, but make no representations as to what will happen after that. (Synonym: "momentary")
"resolution" -- a non-binding statement used to trick others into believing you won't do something.
"Mother Jesus" -- Our Savior in drag
"to exercise restraint" -- We're not promising we won't do it, but we'll at least think about not doing it before we do it.
"healing and reconciliation" -- Buying more time for us to spread our agenda and to chase those out who don't agree with us.
"Now, once again, we find the need to speak candidly." -- What Charlie Brown would say if he were a Network Bishop and Lucy just pulled the ball away again.
"The Episcopal Church" -- A cultic religion formerly known as "The Episcopal Church in the United States," formerly known as "The Protestant Episcopal Church in the United States." The international progressive alternative to the backward homophobic exclusionary Anglican Communion.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.