‘Bullycide’ or Neglect? --- Mother Faces Trial in 12-Year-Old Son’s Suicide

ABC News ^ | 09/09/03 | Bryan Robinson

[katnip]

ALWAYS FIGHT BACK! Damn the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry for even thinking otherwise!

Darn right!

First day back at school last Wednesday the bullying on the school bus started for my 11 year old. Mine's a very big kid who is physically clumsy.

The bully, let's call him Wuss is even bigger, all the kids are afraid of him and his teenage brother that he threatens the little kids with.

For 2 nights my son had nightmares and every waking second was spent on worrying about this bully. My husband and I told him that Wuss will never stop until he fights back.

On Friday he lost it on the Wuss in the school yard. [YAY!]

Needless to say, nightmares are gone and my boy has regained his self esteem and is busy mentoring the smaller kids about how to handle the Wuss.

[justshutupandtakeit]

Men abandoning their families are the scum of the earth, feminism or no feminism. Such things happened before feminism and happen today when there is nothing involving feminism.

Those who pick out their favorite peeve and blame it while defending the indefensible are hardly deep thinkers or thinkers at all.

What does feminism have to do with this poor child's lack of a father? Nothing, but that won't stop nitwits from claiming that it does even when there is not a shred of evidence for their claim.

[fishbabe]

thw womans working two jobs and over seventy hours a week...good god,there would be no time for house cleaning,cooking or much of anything else.......and it was the schools job to monitor the bullies not the mothers....but of course they will get off scot free

[dfrussell]

Men abandoning their families are the scum of the earth, feminism or no feminism. Such things happened before feminism and happen today when there is nothing involving feminism.

Women pick them. If they pick poorly, it's their problem. A thousand years ago, they would have been eaten by a bear.

Those who pick out their favorite peeve and blame it while defending the indefensible are hardly deep thinkers or thinkers at all.

LOL Pot....... kettle...... black..... :-)

I quite agree, and can only wonder if you understand precisely how amusing your comment sounds to me :)

What does feminism have to do with this poor child's lack of a father? Nothing, but that won't stop nitwits from claiming that it does even when there is not a shred of evidence for their claim.

What does the father have to do with anything?

He wasn't there, for whatever reason.

The mother was and did absolutely nothing.... and somehow it's the father's fault? :-))

Yeah. Sure. Whatever :)

[dfrussell]

Don't fight back? HAH! What MORONS!

There is no such thing as a fair right... and even if you lose a fight, odds are a bully will leave you alone to look for someone stupid enough to let someone beat on them without resisting.

You always resist. Teeth, elbows, knees, pens, fingers, bottles, stones, bats, knifes, guns.... whatever it takes.

[ladyjane]

Whatever happened to the days when a parent of the bullied child would call the parent of the bully to straighten things out?

I assume you are a man. If you were a single mother you would understand.

[justshutupandtakeit]

So you are defending a father who abandoned his children? That is acceptable behavior in your world? It is inexcuseable in mine. Leaving children without resources is immoral, against all religions' belief and, in times past, would have received universal condemnation (except from those who do the same.)

It is irrelevent that this scum bag could not get along with the mother for whatever reason. The point is that he abandoned his children. That is not the behavior of a MAN but rather a spoiled, irresponsible, thoughtless and immature BRAT.

[dfrussell]

So you are defending a father who abandoned his children? That is acceptable behavior in your world?

What I'm doing is commenting on what I read in the article and pointing out that the responsibility for the child was the mother's, and that you know jack about the father.

If that's a problem to you, don't wait for me to care.

That is not the behavior of a MAN but rather a spoiled, irresponsible, thoughtless and immature BRAT.

LOL -- Oh, you mean speculating about all sorts of things rather than dealing with the actual facts of the case?

[justshutupandtakeit]

It is NOT a fact that the father abandoned his children?

It is NOT a fact that the mother was working 70 hrs a week to provide for the children which the father had deserted?

These are the "facts" as stated in the article. Are they false? Do you have different ones? Did the father die? Was he incapacitated? Mentally ill? Kidnapped by aliens?

If you have other facts please let me know what they are.

[dfrussell]

The report came from ABC... not known for being impartial.

The report quotes the mother -- not exactly and impartial source either -- saying that the father deserted her. The old, "I'm a victim, too" excuse.

You have now filtered something through two biased sources.

What do you actually *know*?

That the mother was responsible for the child, he was filthy and he hung himself, and that's all you know.

If you want to rant about the father, long absent for whatever reason, feel free, but don't expect anyone to take you or the mother seriously.

The boy is dead because of the mother. Period.

[justshutupandtakeit]

Consequences of an absent, deserting father are devastating.

If you are unaware of this you need to do further research before posting simple-minded comments attempting to blame a political movement for the father's desertion. Why don't you take a gander at the home background of prison inmates for starters.

What MAN deserts his children because of feminism anyway? A pussy might use that as an EXCUSE but no real man would.

[Conquistador_Charlie]

.: Rats & Bullies - A Feature Length Documentary Film :.

[Distribute Freely]

You are invited to go to http://news.place.cc to sign up for a free e-Newsletter chronicling the developments, screenings and availability of a powerful documentary film: "Rats & Bullies - The Dawn-Marie Wesley Story."

"Rats & Bullies" produced by Roberta McMillan and Ray Buffer (official website is www.ratsandbullies.com) probes the suicide of a 14-year-old girl from Mission, BC named Dawn-Marie Wesley, who took her own life by hanging herself with a dog leash in her bedroom after systematic bullying and threats by three teenage girls from her school. Her suicide was discovered by her then-13-year-old brother who had come to her room prior to the family's dinner, to use her TV. The bullies were named in Dawn-Marie's suicide note which prompted an investigation by RCMP and Crown Counsel leading to two precedent setting cases by Canada's provincial court in which the bullies were held accountable for their threats.

Relational Aggression is discussed with a focus on female bullying. An added cultural component to the story is the role of aboriginal sentencing circles, which were utilized in sentencing one of the bullies, since the victim and one of the accused were both Native, or First nations. This form of Restorative Justice is beginning to gain wider appeal by legal systems around the globe.

Actions and their consequences are explored through interviews with Dawn-Marie Wesley's mother, Cindy Wesley and brother D.J., as well as MLA Randy Hawes who was Mayor at the time of the incident, Judge Jill Rounthwaite who presided over one of the trials, Kyla Mae Dunn - one of the bullies who was prosecuted, Dawn-Marie's best friend - Paula Settee, Kevin Gillies - a Mission news reporter, Lee Hanlon - a paralegal who assisted the victim's family, Karen McQuade - a co-founder of a bully prevention activism group named PAVE, which arose from Dawn-Marie's demise; and NY Times best-selling author and co-founder of Washington DC's EMPOWER Program, Rosalind Wiseman.

Rosalind Wiseman is also the author of "Queen Bees and Wannabes" the book which inspired Tina Fey to write the recent fictional comedy "Mean Girls".

Dawn-Marie's story has been featured on TV in episodes of "The John Walsh Show", "The Vicki Gabereau Show" and "The Oprah Winfrey Show". Get the whole story in “RATS & BULLIES.”

Sign up for the newsletter at http://news.place.cc and receive exclusive news regarding when, where and how you can see “RATS & BULLIES.”

Running Time 120 minutes: Color

Visit the official website at http://www.ratsandbullies.com

View the trailer at http://preview.2ya.com

[TASMANIANRED]

This kid may have been bullied but with his age, his IQ and a sudden change in behavior this should have shouted need for psychiatric intervention of some type.

On top of this this is maximal latch key kid. If Mom was working 70 hours a week this kid was alone an unsupervised most of the time.

I don't know how responsible she is in his death but she sure neglected him.

[antonia]

Administrators complained to Daniel's mother, Judith Scruggs who worked as a teacher's aide in his school about his truancy and urged her to get counseling for him. Scruggs complained to administrators that her son was being bullied and that they needed to address that problem.

But school officials argued that Daniel's problems with bullying were rooted, in part, on his eccentricities, hygiene problems and his mother's inability to address his problems and get the counseling they recommended.

The American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry recommends that parents encourage their bullied children to talk about their problems and let them know what they are not at fault. They should also: ......

The school officials and the state are saying that the bullied kid deserved the bulling for all of these [personal] 'faults'.

Paradise is always where love dwells.

[Judith Anne]

In third grade, my son was bullied by two much larger and older kids who had been held back a grade--my son had been advanced a grade, so he was two full years younger. He was hit, punched, and kicked on the way home.

On the playground, he beat the snot out of one of the bullies, and the teachers praised him. The other bully kept up his assaults on the way home, so I called his mother and complained. She cried, "His father will beat him if I tell him about this." I replied that I would press charges if it didn't stop, so she had better see to it that it did, whatever it took.

That was the end of the problem.

This took several weeks, which seemed like a year. We tried everything else before these extremes, and I did allow my son to have a couple of "mental health days" off, in addition to enrolling him in karate classes, which gave him a lot of self-confidence. His instructor was a gem.

My husband was working two jobs so I could stay home with the kids.

[Stone Mountain]

It appears very likely that this child had a severe mental illness, at least from the descriptions of his behavior. It seems awfully cruel to me to automatically blame the mother unless they have better evidence that she was responsible for his behavior. Many people think they would be able to handle a situation with a mentally ill child but those in the know will tell you it isn't that easy...

[PeoplesRepublicOfWashington]

Horribly sad. I wonder, where is Daniel's father now?

Our society doesn't care, as long as he isn't behind in his child support.

[WIladyconservative]

But school officials argued that Daniel's problems with bullying were rooted, in part, on his eccentricities, hygiene problems and his mother's inability to address his problems and get the counseling they recommended.

The schools shreik and rave about celebrating diversity but they certainly don't practice it - in my experience.