NKorea Claims to Develop Blood Purifier "a wearable device that uses a 'jewel' "

Cincinnati.Com ^ | Jun 13, 2003 | staff writer

[yankeedame]

Jun 13, 5:07 PM EDT

NKorea Claims to Develop Blood Purifier

SEOUL, South Korea (AP) -- North Korea claimed Friday that it has developed a wearable device that uses a "jewel" to convert the sun's rays into a photo-electromagnetic field to purify blood and heal a range of serious diseases.

The device, worn as a wristband or ring, was tested on more than 500 patients, the state-run Korean Central News Agency reported Friday.

Within hours, it cured 98.8 percent of the patients of a range of conditions, including blood clots in the brain, heart attacks, blocked arteries, the report said. It didn't elaborate.

"It is much better than medicinal therapy, dietary and exercise remedies," KCNA said.

The country remains the world's most isolated country. Its claims cannot be independently verified.

North Korea's communist government is cash-strapped and has been accused of resorting to selling narcotics and missiles to raise money. Alternative health remedies are believed to be popular in the country as health care is poor.

[jimtorr]

Another magical cure-all from North Korean fantasy writers.

[Clara Lou]

Doubtless, their Maximum Leader invented this,

[Mr.Clark]

When will we in America wake up, and realize that the North Koreans are light years ahead of us?

[Fifth Business]

They also invented the magic "blankee" that makes children invisible when they cover themselves.

[tuna_battle_slight_return]

But is it better than music therapy?

[Jhoffa_]

This placebo is what happens when poor communist countries can't afford real medicine and research.

They do however have money for nuke weapons.. Now, what does that tell you?

[DoctorMichael]

Mood Ring update Bump.

[OldCorps]

The North Korean commies must have found a secret decoder ring one of our agents accidently left during a mission. They probably were not sure of its purpose so they used it for medical research. This is the result.

[E. Pluribus Unum]

Ron Popeil could help NK market this.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

The 1.2 percent who were not cured were immediate guests of the NK fireing squad...

[DoctorMichael]

They have nothing left but delusional dreams.

[2 Kool 2 Be 4-Gotten]

Saw a couple of Dutch journalists who made a film on the sly in North Korea - they said the place is like something out of the twilight zone - people "directing traffic" even though there is no traffic to direct and hotels for visiting dignitaries that are empty because there are no visiting dignitaries. And they said people that they encountered were afraid to look at them. Truly a country gone mad.

[Starrgaizr]

lol. "we must not permit.... a new age crystal gap!"

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

The device ... was tested on more than 500 patients ... within hours, it cured 98.8 percent of the patients ...

And the other six died in a hail of gunfire.

[snopercod]

This is HUGH!

[cibco]

Next will be an invention of food...

[yonif]

wristband or ring

Must have been something they got out of a lucky charms cereal box.

[navydad]

Someone needs to put this crazy regime out of its misery.

[yonif]

Next will be an invention of food...

LOL

[yonif]

I wonder if they can use it to purify the crazy commie minds of their leaders.

[Eric in the Ozarks]

Gee...I wish we had one of those blood purifier machines...

[struwwelpeter]

After Chernobyl, the communist authorities told the populace to drink more red wine - since this would "renew" the blood and lead to stronger erythopoeisis.

I still run into people in Kiev who believe this.

[RightOnTheLeftCoast]

[cue eerie theremin chords]

[Wooo-Ooo-Oooo...]

Paging Keith Milton Rhinehart!

[boris]

"Must have been something they got out of a lucky charms cereal box."

Creator of Lucky Charms cereal killed in car crash
August 28, 2000
Web posted at: 1:49 PM EDT (1749 GMT)

RICHFIELD, Minnesota (AP) -- The creator of Lucky Charms cereal and his wife were killed in a Minnesota traffic accident on their way to visit their comatose daughter, who died two days later.

John Holahan, 83, a former General Mills vice president, apparently ran a stop sign and steered into a truck's path on Wednesday, police said. His wife Rosalind, 84, died at the scene. He died four hours later.

Their daughter, Shannon Kilkenny, 51, lost her fight with liver cancer on Friday.

"That was pretty much my immediate family," John Holahan Jr. said Sunday. "This is a terrible tragedy for all of us."

The elder Holahans had been married for 60 years.

They might have taken some comfort in knowing they had died together, said the younger Holahan's wife, Midge Holahan. "I think that they also would be very happy to know that they died before their daughter did," she said.

For years, John Holahan shared the story of Lucky Charms -- toasted oat cereal with marshmallow bits -- with students in his hometown of Annandale as a lesson in creativity and marketing.

He recalled stumbling upon orange marshmallow peanuts while brainstorming in 1963, cutting them up and then sprinkling them over Cheerios.

"I knew we had a winner," he said.

[Minutemen]

It also cures SARS and fends off starvation!

[Joe Bonforte]

Within hours, it cured 98.8 percent of the patients of a range of conditions...

Now if they could just make it cure stupidity, and get North Korea's leaders to wear it...

[ditto h]

How does it work on malnutrition?

[aristeides]

Yes, I wonder if this story confirms the reports on Batchelor & Alexander a few weeks back that SARS is rampant in North Korea.

[Larry Lucido]

wearable device that uses a "jewel" to convert the sun's rays into a photo-electromagnetic field

North Korea went on to explain that the process of creating the jewels involves lots of uranium and heavy water.

[Only1choice____Freedom]

I wonder if they are using this to "cure" radiation sickness in preparation for an attack.


tinfoil hat /off

[Prince Charles]

There's a commie sucker born every minute.

[Starrgaizr]

"The capitalists will sell us the crystals with which we shall purify them."

[Prince Charles]

"We will bury cure you."

[Centurion2000]

reports on Batchelor & Alexander a few weeks back that SARS is rampant in North Korea.

Have you got a source for that pls?

[Stopislamnow]

[Steel Wolf]

Crystals? Transmuting energy from the sun into a photo-electromagntic vibe of pure goodness?

Groovy, man. It's nice to see that Kim Jong Il is, like, feeling his New Age resonance. Now if only he'd trade in that gas station mechanic outfit he's always wearing for a tye dyed shirt, and bellbottoms, he'd really be slick. He already wears platform shoes to look taller, and his Korfro (Korean Afro) is legendary.

If he's just hitting the early sixties now, we MUST, for the sake of all humanity, stop him before he hits the late seventies. 'Disco' Jong Il is simply too horrible to be contemplated.

[Prince Charles]

Hehehe...

[Mad_Tom_Rackham]

These people are insane.

[Consort]

We should look at all facets of their claim.

[Kenny Bunk]

Perhaps now these Worthy Oriental Gentlemen will stop massacring bears for the gall bladders ... or maybe this crystal is actually an ursine gallstone?

[gcruse]

They do however have money for nuke weapons.. Now, what does that tell you?

That national security is more important than health care for everybody?  </ouch>

[A CA Guy]

Yeah, these folks are likely to come up with the secret of life when they can't even feed themselves.

The leader certainly has the secret to a bad haircut down though, I'll give him that.

[Jhoffa_]

That national security is more important than health care for everybody? </ouch>

Ummm, Exactly..

</Sarcasm>

[dozer7]

"Mood Ring update Bump."

My girlfriends mood ring made a big red mark on my forehead. I demand a cure.

regards

the dozer

[aristeides]

No, I don't have a source. I just heard it on the radio.