Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Democratic Candidates Announce Plan To Dangle Stacks Of Cash In Front Of Potential Voters
Babylon Bee ^ | June 24th, 2019 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/25/2019 12:48:42 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o

U.S.—The 347 Democratic presidential candidates currently running announced Monday their new plan to attract voters to their platforms: simply to dangle stacks of cash over their heads on a fishing line.

At every rally and campaign event, Democrats running for president will dangle bags or bundles of cash above undecided voters, hoping to lure them to the polls to vote.

"Rather than compete on ideas, we will resort to blatant bribery," said Bernie Sanders after proposing giving $1.6 trillion to college graduates. Sanders then pulled out a fishing pole and began teasing his audience. "Whooa, gotta be quicker than that!" he said, laughing as audience members tried to jump up and grab the cash. "You almost got it that time!"

While speaking to an LGBT rights organization, Elizabeth Warren cast out a line with a $20 bill on it and skillfully reeled it in, jerking it from side to side as potential voters lunged after the cash. "$50 million is up for grabs!" she yelled. "You get $50 million! And you get $50 million! Everybody gets $50 million! But you gotta follow the fishing line all the way to the polls, people!"


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: funnystuff; hahaha; nokidding; orly; parody; politicalsatire; sarcasm; satire
I'll take $50 million just to keep my snarky mouth shut. Thank you.
1 posted on 06/25/2019 12:48:42 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Mrs. Don-o

What happened to the $5 and a bottle of Jack Daniels ,LOL


2 posted on 06/25/2019 12:51:40 PM PDT by butlerweave
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mrs. Don-o

I’d take the cash and quietly vote for Trump anyway....LOL.


3 posted on 06/25/2019 12:51:54 PM PDT by lgjhn23 (It's easy to be liberal when you're dumber than a box of rocks.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mrs. Don-o

Satire is supposed to be labeled as such.

We have some gullible folks, bless ‘em all.


4 posted on 06/25/2019 12:52:38 PM PDT by humblegunner
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mrs. Don-o

If only this were true.


5 posted on 06/25/2019 12:52:44 PM PDT by Mark (Celebrities... is there anything they do not know? -Homer Simpson)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: humblegunner
`

`

`KEYWORDS: funnystuff; hahaha; nokidding; orly; parody; politicalsatire; sarcasm; satire; Click to Add Keyword

`

Click to add a dozen more keywords. Maybe some people will get a clue. Thank you.

6 posted on 06/25/2019 12:56:51 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o (I knew somehing suspicious was going on.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Mrs. Don-o

7 posted on 06/25/2019 12:58:19 PM PDT by Bratch (IF YOU HAVE SELFISH IGNORANT CITIZENS, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SELFISH IGNORANT LEADERS-George Carlin)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Bratch

Then there’s the Libertarian version: “Pot in Every Chicken”


8 posted on 06/25/2019 1:00:35 PM PDT by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Mrs. Don-o

Oh, if ONLY the (R)N(C) had 2 brain-cells, a backbone and the testosterone level enough to ‘remind’ the sheeple that it’s their OWN $$ (aka taxes) being used in the bribing.

Course, then, the whole Uniparty house-of-cards would begin tumbling down should that bulb begin to glow...


9 posted on 06/25/2019 1:46:14 PM PDT by i_robot73 (One could not count the number of *solutions*, if only govt followed\enforced the Constitution.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mrs. Don-o

10 posted on 06/25/2019 1:58:33 PM PDT by Dr.Deth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Deth

Eho is that?


11 posted on 06/25/2019 2:01:08 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o (Stone cold sober, as a matter of fact.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Dr.Deth

I mean WHO is that.


12 posted on 06/25/2019 2:02:16 PM PDT by Mrs. Don-o (qwerty ergo typo.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Mrs. Don-o
Keep your eyes on the shiny light.


13 posted on 06/25/2019 2:43:48 PM PDT by jonrick46 (Cultural Marxism is the cult of the Left waiting for the Mothership.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Mrs. Don-o
I know I'm a teen but isn't that buying votes? Ok .I'll take the cash, and vote for President Trump anyway ..

If they can lie, why not the voters? 😀

14 posted on 06/25/2019 3:43:58 PM PDT by ConservaTeen (WFLA's Jack Harris: Brooklyn is missing their village idiot. Right you are, Jack.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: All

If it was their personalmoneynit would be illegal. But t hey are going to hold the worming class at gun point to get this money. If you don’t give it they will cease your wages, confiscate your property, and incarcerate you. If you won’t surrender your property they will shoot you.


15 posted on 06/25/2019 4:13:06 PM PDT by Retvet (Retvet)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Retvet

Is the worming class another word for anglers.


16 posted on 06/25/2019 5:17:45 PM PDT by Seruzawa (TANSTAAFL!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 15 | View Replies]

To: dfwgator

17 posted on 06/25/2019 6:19:23 PM PDT by Bratch (IF YOU HAVE SELFISH IGNORANT CITIZENS, YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SELFISH IGNORANT LEADERS-George Carlin)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson