Appeals Court Tosses One Of The Most Absurd Class Action Cases Of All Time

Forbes ^ | September 5, 2017 | George Leef

[reaganaut1]

The plaintiffs’ bar has perfected a system for extracting money from firms. It works like this: Find a petty complaint about some product, magnify it into a class-action suit, then settle with the company in a way that does virtually nothing for the supposed victims, but yields a nice haul of legal fees as the company pays them to go away.

This scheme for enriching lawyers who are just manipulating the legal system depends on compliant judges who will approve the classes and rubber stamp the settlements. Every now and then, however, they run into a member of the “injured” class who objects and if the case winds up before an alert appellate court, the case crashes.

That is what just happened in the Subway foot-long litigation. The judge’s opinion will be sweet music to any businessman who has ever been raked over by abusive lawyers.

The facts: Back in 2013, an Australian teenager purchased one of Subway’s FootLong sandwiches. He was upset to find that it measured only 11 inches and to show his irritation, he posted a photo of the sandwich next to a tape measure on his Facebook page. Soon, his photo was getting attention around the globe, including a group of class-action lawyers who smelled a chance to shake a lot of money out of Subway. They filed a class action suit in federal district court for the Eastern District of Wisconsin.

...

Judge Diane Sykes wrote the court’s opinion in the case, In re Subway Footlong Sandwich Market and Sales Practices Litigation. For Americans who dislike the abuse of legal process, her opinion was a tasty as your favorite Subway sandwich.

...

It is worth mentioning that Judge Sykes is among those on President Trump’s list of possible Supreme Court nominees.

[Neoliberalnot]

Happens daily. The worst are the shakedown artists claiming discrimination against low IQ Africans and the like using the Jesse hiJackson/Al Sharpton approach.

[NonValueAdded]

hear! hear! I have been tempted to object in the past and am now sorry that I did not. These “settlements” where the class receives a low value coupon while the lawyers rake in millions are a perversion of justice, IMHO.

[BitWielder1]

They could call it a footlong class sub, like they do for big screen TV's, where a 40 inch class TV measures 39 1/2 inches.

[rbg81]

I could see someone feeling slightly cheated if a foot long isn’t quite a foot. That being said, the proper remedy is not to buy it next time.

[caver]

Who says it’s not a foot long? Everyone’s feet are different lengths.

[BobL]

...don’t advertise it as ‘foot long’ if you don’t intend it to be a foot long. Or at least include qualifiers in your advertising - as in McDonald’s saying the beef in a Quarter Pounder is a quarter pound BEFORE cooking.

Sorry, but I don’t put this in the same class as an old lady learning the hard way that coffee is hot, or a burglar suing his mark because the skylight on the roof wasn’t roped off.

[morphing libertarian]

I hope my girlfriends and ex wife don’t find out about this.

[Rusty0604]

Lots of ADA lawsuits end up restricting rights or taking away from the general public. Same now with all the LBGTQ, Muslims and atheists, etc. And their lawsuits.

[Delta 21]

You cant tell me I am the only one who uses asbestos infused baby powder with hexavalent chromium on his pee-pee and has had it shrink away to the size of a pimple ! I think I need one of those shark lawyers you are talking about!

[ontap]

A judge with a brain....what'le they think of next!!!

[pgkdan]

A small percentage of the rolls were an inch short. It’s not as if they were selling 8” long sandwiches that they were calling ‘footlongs’. Sometimes the bread bakes up a little short. Big deal. It’s the same amount of dough as in the rolls that bake to 12 inches and it’s the same amount of meat and cheese. This suit was nonsense and I’m glad this judge rejected the so called settlement.

[txnativegop]

Why is it not possible for the targets of these suits to file a counter-suit against the lawyers themselves?

It is the lawyers who are actively pursuing an extortion scheme against a lawful business.
These lawyers should be held financially responsible for their harmful behavior. IMO.

[jonno]

"I could see someone feeling slightly cheated if a foot long isn’t quite a foot"

Perhaps you didn't read the article. All of the sandwiches came from the same AMOUNT of dough; The actual shape of the individual loaves varied depending on how it was shaped/baked.

Or, are you one of those who gets upset when you find your box of cereal is only 2/3rds full (ignoring the 'contents may settle' label)?

Of course, subway could "stretch out" the dough - making sure that each loaf is equal to or greater than 12 inches, but is it really necessary? Would you feel better if the sandwich was >12", but looked like:

Of course not.

[fella]

Comparing Lawyers Per Capita of Industrialized Nations

[Mastador1]

Disagree, the worst are those that shake down small businesses over minor, if it even exists at all, violations of the Disability Act.

[Elsie]

Now Stubby; they'd NEVER come back on you for...

...uh...
...exaggeratin’; would they?

[morphing libertarian]

LOL Well i say at least they never called me stubby. Have a good one.

[Jacquerie]

Yeah, a friend of ours owns several Subways. Disability Act lawyers regularly hit him up for ‘damages’ in the hope he settles.

Anyway, whenever he hears on the news that some lawyer got his head blown off, he says he takes the day off and goes to a bar to celebrate.

[armourenthusiast]

Bacon is now in danger.