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Longing for the Male Gaze
NY Times ^ | September 21, 2016 | Jennifer Bartlett

Posted on 09/21/2016 10:25:05 AM PDT by C19fan

When I was in my early 30s, I practiced yoga at a studio in my neighborhood in Brooklyn. On most days, I walked there with two good friends — one who was in her 20s and one about my age — but occasionally we each got to class on our own. There was construction site across the street as part of the growing onslaught of gentrification in the neighborhood. My friends would often complain about being harassed and catcalled by the construction workers — even more so when they wore their yoga clothes. I passed the site day after day without incident.

When I was younger, in my 20s, I was a thin, slight woman. I have also always been beautiful and a nice dresser. I also happen to have cerebral palsy, which affects my motor skills, balance and speech, as it does with most people who have it. It is typically caused by damage to or malformation of the brain during birth or infancy. In my case, my mother’s umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck in utero. As my mother was unable to have an emergency cesarean section, I was strangled by the cord, and born clinically dead. The temporary lack of oxygen caused damage to a portion of my brain.

(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: genderwars; men; psychology; sexuality
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So this woman who has cerebral palsy is complaining men do not hit on her because of the effects of disability. What is it feminists? You want attention or not? I have some sympathy for this woman as flunking all three of the "tall, dark, and handsome" checklist I can count on one hand the number of time I have received a female gaze. You do feel invisible.
1 posted on 09/21/2016 10:25:05 AM PDT by C19fan
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To: C19fan

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.


2 posted on 09/21/2016 10:28:27 AM PDT by Jeff Chandler (Everywhere is freaks and hairies Dykes and fairies, tell me where is sanity?)
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To: C19fan

I believe there was an article here yesterday, written by a Feminist who confessed that he liked manly men. She went on a date, and the guy had his hand on her butt. She liked it.

Perhaps the culture is changing. Lord knows feminism has been totally corrosive. I think a lot of feminists see it that way too.

I support feminists like Sarah Palin. A very accomplished, very feminine woman. The feminists hate her.


3 posted on 09/21/2016 10:29:47 AM PDT by ClearCase_guy (Abortion is what slavery was: immoral but not illegal. Not yet.)
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To: C19fan

Hey it wasn’t a man but a woman that came up with the saying... men are like parking spaces all the good ones are taken and the only thing left are bad ones and the handicapped


4 posted on 09/21/2016 10:29:50 AM PDT by tophat9000 (King G(OP)eorge III has no idea why the Americans are in rebellion... teach him why)
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To: C19fan
"as flunking all three of the "tall, dark, and handsome" checklist I can count on one hand the number of time I have received a female gaze. You do feel invisible."

My brothers turned out tall dark and Irish, I'm kinda' short (barely 6 foot) and am frequently mistaken for a Russian, strangely enough.

So I just decided to act like an a-hole. Works great!

5 posted on 09/21/2016 10:30:51 AM PDT by Wyrd bið ful aræd (Flag burners can go screw -- I'm mighty PROUD of that ragged old flag)
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To: C19fan

There’s something about Seattle. Downtown, you can walk down the sidewalk for hours and never catch a female glance. Women will not look at guys. You get the feeling of being alone in a crowd.

Atlanta is the polar opposite. I went to a place for business lunch and got so many looks I checked to see if my fly was open.


6 posted on 09/21/2016 10:35:19 AM PDT by sparklite2 (The game overs whether you play it or not.)
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To: C19fan
The temporary lack of oxygen caused damage to a portion of my brain.

Yep, Jennifer lost her ability to reason.

7 posted on 09/21/2016 10:36:03 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (America, a Rule of Mob nation)
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To: ClearCase_guy

“a Feminist who confessed that he liked manly men”

Women naturally like manly men, they are genetically programmed that way. Just like men are genetically programmed to be attracted to women with signs of obvious reproductive fitness (large breasts and ample hips). Unless there is some short-circuit in our development, that’s the default setting for all humanity, whether the feminists want to admit it or not.


8 posted on 09/21/2016 10:36:33 AM PDT by Boogieman
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To: C19fan

I’m sure there are millions upon millions of non-disabled women who have also not gotten from males all the things they wanted. Unfortunately, life is not perfect or always fair. This woman should be thankful she was not born into a culture that truly looks down on women (i.e., most of the Muslim world).


9 posted on 09/21/2016 10:38:33 AM PDT by Cecily
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To: C19fan

Back when I was 43, I lost about 55 lbs and was down to 190 lbs at 6’1”. My wife of 20 years had also just dumped me “without cause”.

I suddenly noticed, when at trendy “happy hours” in downtown Seattle that as I would scan across the room I’d see women quickly look away when my eyes scanned past theirs. I had never noticed it before. The funny part was I actually saw more men do that than women. I have a theory, but I don’t want to get into it. It might have something to do with the fact that complete strangers would come up to me and ask me if I was a guy named Howie Long. I had to look him up on Google.

I only bring it up to say it is very flattering, but that’s about it. It’s great when you first notice it, but then it actually becomes a nuisance more than anything.

But I find it fascinating that when women get to their true nature, they are not really feminists at all. Only the ugly ones are, as Rush would say.

Fact is, they ALL want attention, if only to then condemn you for it.


10 posted on 09/21/2016 10:39:09 AM PDT by Mr. Douglas (Today is your life. What are you going to do with it?)
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To: Jeff Chandler

Women are too pretty to stare at. That’s why I don’t do it. Blame God...He did a bang-up job! :>)


11 posted on 09/21/2016 10:41:42 AM PDT by xzins ( Free Republic Gives YOU a voice heard around the globe. Support the Freepathon!)
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To: C19fan

Women complain if men pay attention to them or dont pay attention to them. Such traumas. Meanwhile guys with male pattern baldness are ignored by women every day (unless they are rich). We just deal with it.


12 posted on 09/21/2016 10:42:16 AM PDT by Brooklyn Attitude (The first step in ending the War on White People, is to recognize it exists.)
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To: Navy Patriot

I didn’t read it that way at all. It seemed to me that she was suggesting that the feminists who complain so much about male attention don’t realize what it would be like to never experience it.


13 posted on 09/21/2016 10:44:31 AM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, If you can keep it.")
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To: Mr. Douglas

Howie Long?? That is good. I have been compared to Gilbert Godfrey...cha ching..not good.


14 posted on 09/21/2016 10:45:56 AM PDT by C19fan
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To: Brooklyn Attitude
Meanwhile guys with male pattern baldness are ignored by women every day (unless they are rich).

Hair is a waste of hormones. Bald guys usually have more testosterone, and are better in certain ways.

15 posted on 09/21/2016 10:48:22 AM PDT by FatherofFive (Islam is evil and must be eradicated)
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To: Mr. Douglas

Actual women like attention from decent men and don’t ever complain about it.

- Megan


16 posted on 09/21/2016 10:48:38 AM PDT by MeganC (JE SUIS CHARLES MARTEL!!!)
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To: C19fan
I created a provocative profile. The photographs were recent, but in photographs, I look “normal.” I did not mention that I have cerebral palsy. I wanted to use the opportunity to explore the sexual world as an able-bodied woman, if only online, and see what all the fuss was about.

AKA she misrepresented herself. She has noting to complain about.

17 posted on 09/21/2016 10:48:39 AM PDT by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: C19fan

Most of my life I was compared to Kurt Russel. One day I was telling my “then” new wife (we’ve been together for 19 glorious years) that people say I look like Kurt Russel and she thought it was nuts. Then we had a friend and his wife over for dinner one time and, as they walked away from our house, the wife turned around and said, “You look a lot like Kurt Russel.”

Heh, My wife feigned anger. ;-)


18 posted on 09/21/2016 10:50:11 AM PDT by Mr. Douglas (Today is your life. What are you going to do with it?)
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To: sparklite2

Oh the Seattle gals are looking...they’ve just mastered the art of looking like they are not looking!


19 posted on 09/21/2016 10:50:27 AM PDT by mdmathis6 (BEWARE THE ABORTION POLITICAL INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX!)
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To: Mr. Douglas
Fact is, they ALL want attention, if only to then condemn you for it.

Women are pleased when they get looked at by men THEY find attractive, and outraged when men they don't find attractive dare to speak to them.

20 posted on 09/21/2016 10:50:39 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 (Big government is attractive to those who think that THEY will be in control of it.)
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