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Canada's Biggest Stud
National Post ^ | July 27, 2016 | Joe O'Connor

Posted on 07/27/2016 5:06:08 PM PDT by Loyalist

Every stallion has a “tell,” says Bridgette Jablonsky, and, in this moment, in a dimly lit barn at Hanover Shoe Farms in Hanover, Pa., Somebeachsomewhere, the legendary Canadian harness racing champion and international Hall of Fame horse, is telling Jablonsky he is ready to perform.

Somebeachsomewhere’s readiness is never a certainty. He is a finicky and, at times, apathetic lover. To hasten his readiness Chiptease, a mare in heat, is in the barn, standing idly by as her would-be mate nips at her hindquarters, throws back his head, inhales deeply and, after 10 minutes, starts dancing about on his hooves.

This is the “tell” that Jablonsky, the farm’s manager and resident veterinarian, was waiting for.

“Don’t blow this,” she says to a groom, who leads the dancing stallion away from Chiptease to a “phantom mare” — basically the equine equivalent of an inflatable sex doll — that he mounts as Jablonsky guides his penis into a customized artificial vagina. The twin-layered rubber gizmo resembles a rubber boot, only bigger, and ends in a point and is filled with hot water to simulate a mare’s temperature. It is loose fitting, because Somebeachsomewhere, or just plain “Beach” as he is popularly known, prefers it that way.

Six thrusts and 60 seconds later, it’s over, an end punctuated by a triumphant whinny out of Beach. Slipping off the phantom mare he exits the barn into the sunlight beyond, for a post-coital meal of whole oats mixed with vitamin enriched horse pellets.

(Excerpt) Read more at news.nationalpost.com ...


TOPICS: Canada; Culture/Society; US: Pennsylvania
KEYWORDS: horsebreeding; horseracing; stud
The headline had me thinking it was another Justin Trudeau puff piece.
1 posted on 07/27/2016 5:06:08 PM PDT by Loyalist
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To: Loyalist

I was thinking the same thing.


2 posted on 07/27/2016 5:09:49 PM PDT by july4thfreedomfoundation (DNC, DNC, We Won't Vote For Hillary!)
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To: Loyalist
"nips at her hindquarters, throws back his head, inhales deeply and, after 10 minutes, starts dancing about on his hooves."

Boy, do I know that feeling!

3 posted on 07/27/2016 5:10:37 PM PDT by D_Idaho ("For we wrestle not against flesh and blood...".)
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To: Loyalist

4 posted on 07/27/2016 5:10:47 PM PDT by Donglalinger
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To: Loyalist

I was figuring somebody thought I moved there. :)


5 posted on 07/27/2016 5:12:35 PM PDT by dp0622 (The only thing an upper crust conservative hates more than a liberal is a middle class conservative)
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To: Loyalist
 photo Lumberjack_zpsebdu1qwk.jpg
6 posted on 07/27/2016 5:15:22 PM PDT by Zeneta
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To: Loyalist

It appears Bridgette Jablonsky has Charlie Sheen’s dream job.


7 posted on 07/27/2016 5:16:10 PM PDT by MrBambaLaMamba ( Evil preaches tolerance until it is dominant, then it tries to silence good.)
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To: Loyalist

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/100/is-it-true-about-catherine-the-great-and-the-horse


8 posted on 07/27/2016 5:20:03 PM PDT by cynwoody
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To: Loyalist

Man the Ted Cruz people won’t give it a rest


9 posted on 07/27/2016 5:22:23 PM PDT by tophat9000 (King G(OP)eorge III has no idea why the Americans are in rebellion... teach him why)
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To: Loyalist

“six thrusts and 60 seconds later,it’s over”
I think a certain ex-president has that problem.


10 posted on 07/27/2016 5:23:13 PM PDT by Farmer Dean (Never be more than two steps away from your weapon.)
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To: Loyalist

11 posted on 07/27/2016 5:24:15 PM PDT by Snickering Hound
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To: Zeneta

Damn you! Now I’m humming that frigging Monty Python lumberjack song!


12 posted on 07/27/2016 5:39:06 PM PDT by Carriage Hill ( Peace is that brief glorious moment in history, when everybody stands around reloading.)
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To: P.O.E.; Daveinyork; Nextrush; carriage_hill

“Hanover Shoe Farms, Hanover, PA”

Pennsylvania Ping!

(Phildelphia isn’t the only place getting screwed)


13 posted on 07/27/2016 5:50:23 PM PDT by lightman (I'm nobody special...just a follower of the siren call of the Ison.)
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To: Loyalist; StevenCrowder

After reading the article in full, realized it wasn’t about you....

Still....


14 posted on 07/27/2016 6:25:38 PM PDT by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously-you won't live through it anyway - "Enjoy Yourself" ala Louis Prima)
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To: Loyalist

What became of the ‘live cover’ thing?


15 posted on 07/27/2016 6:42:17 PM PDT by DUMBGRUNT (Looks like it's pretty hairy.)
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To: Snickering Hound

Take off, eh


16 posted on 07/27/2016 6:48:15 PM PDT by littleharbour
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To: DUMBGRUNT

Live cover is still a requirement for thoroughbreds registered by the Jockey Club. Almost all other breeds now allow it.


17 posted on 07/27/2016 7:49:39 PM PDT by coydog (Time to feed the pigs!)
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To: lightman

Heeba Ha Ba

(Pennsylvania Dutch word for, um, let’s say human who helps the male horse or bull find his mate)


18 posted on 07/28/2016 6:39:16 AM PDT by P.O.E. (Pray for America)
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