Too much praise can turn kids into narcissistic jerks, study finds

ABC7 Chicago ^ | 03/09/2015

[E. Pluribus Unum]

Convincing your child that they really are special amongst their peers may risk turning them into a narcissist, with feelings of superiority and self-satisfaction, according to a new study.

Narcissistic individuals think they're better than everyone else, live for personal success and expect exceptional treatment, explained the study's authors in the latest issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences journal. When narcissists experience failure, they're not pleasant to be around, and can lash out violently.

Evaluating 565 Dutch children, ages 7 to 12, for narcissistic tendencies, the investigators questioned the children's parents on how, when and how often they praised their child.

The children whose parents consistently told them they were superior to other children, no matter what, scored higher on measurements for narcissism compared to the kids who were given a more realistic view of themselves, the investigators found.

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That's because over-praising children can lead them to believe they are special people who deserve special treatment all the time, explained Brad Bushman, one of the study's authors, and a a professor of communication and psychology at Ohio State University.

"Parents should be warm and loving, but not give their child blanket praise," said Bushman. "We should not boost self-esteem and hope our children will behave well. Instead, we should praise our children after they do well."

Dr. Gene Beresin, the executive director of Massachusetts General Hospital's Clay Center for Young Healthy Minds, said he doubts some of the study's conclusions.

"In the first place, parents are just one influence on a child," said Beresin. "Teachers, peers, siblings and many others influence how a child feels about themselves and how they behave towards others."

Beresin also argued that American children are not necessarily the same as Dutch children, and the age of the children used in the study were inadequate test subjects.

"I don't see how you can label kids this young as narcissistic when it's generally recognized that such personality traits aren't fully formed until late adolescence, like around age 18," said Beresin.

Parents who build a bond of trust with their children by giving them honest feedback mixed with encouragement and support help build a child's self-esteem and security, argues Beresin. Positive feedback, as long as it's accurate and appropriate, can only help boost a child's self-worth.

The study's investigators said their work builds on a larger body of research that shows parental "overvaluation" can lead children to develop narcissism later in life because children tend to see themselves just as the important people in their lives see them.

The researchers didn't rule out the effects of other influences, like genetics, but said previous work shows that cultivating an unreasonably confident view of self is at the core of narcissism.

[E. Pluribus Unum]

Another tragic case of high self-esteem for no apparent reason.

[Raycpa]

Does this apply to presidents too?

[Shadow44]

I could have told you that. I grew up with those kids.

Endlessly praised for no reason, fed with false encouragement to the point of delusions of grandeur. So many people who are so arrogant about little achievement.

These smug kids were set up for failure, all probably intentionally so they come crying to the state for serfdom.

[PapaNew]

The problem in our world is not “too much self esteem.” That is never a problem. People especially little ones, need as much love and encouragement as they can get.

[Lakeshark]

This may explain the bamster and the entire rat party.

The MSM never says anything bad about any of them.

[forgotten man]

I remember in the 1980’s there was much concern about the self esteem of children. Now I meet a lot of adults in their thirties and early forties who have too much self esteem. They are full of themselves.

[WayneS]

Another “No sh1t, Sherlock” moment from America’s “best and brightest”.

[CGASMIA68]

From my observation every little tyke(most) will be a narcissist jerks.
Moms in stores asking “please” to a little undeveloped jerk......
please be quite please settle down please this please that..Give me a break

[Chode]

and it only took raising two generations brimming with false esteem, no talent, brains, ambition or accomplishments to figure it out...

go figure

[CGASMIA68]

OK yes. whadabout some of the names these overindulged brats now sport....

[snarkybob]

That’s one of the reasons I kept my kids out of the Gifted & Talented program when they were still in middle school.

At age 12-13 every kid is gifted & talented at something and IMHO telling them they’re special at that age gives them an unrealistic sense of their abilities.

It’s like a little league pitcher who physically matures a little faster than his peers.
He may be hot stuff at 12-13 but if he starts thinking that he’s gifted then he can be in for a real shock at 18-19 when the rest of his age group have caught up with him physically.

I don’t think you do a kid any favors by telling them that they’re any more gifted or any more special than anybody else.

[Politicalkiddo]

Uh, duh.

[Steve_Seattle]

"Narcissistic individuals think they're better than everyone else, live for personal success and expect exceptional treatment . . . "

Sounds like the definition of a liberal.

[Born to Conserve]

Another more common, and greater tragedy is convincing elite children they’re mediocre or inferior.

[acapesket]

I for one am laughing my Ass off! I just sent this to my one and only child, he 20.
I always said to him when he was little and in High School..
“We do NOT believe in self esteem in this house…we believe in results.”

He still jokes about it it but he is a pretty good kid…had his moments though

[Steve_Seattle]

"It’s like a little league pitcher who physically matures a little faster than his peers."

That happens a lot. Precocious physical maturity is mistaken for exceptional talent, and people are fooled.

[tet68]

Well, it certainly seems to have worked for Obama.
I can’t say I can recall a more stuffed up little prick.

[TurboZamboni]

Where’s captain obvious?
People have kindergarten “graduation” now days. Big deal. You don’t crap your pants any more.

[freedumb2003]

>>The problem in our world is not “too much self esteem.” That is never a problem. People especially little ones, need as much love and encouragement as they can get.<<

Thy also need to fail and understand thier role in the scheme of things.

[manc]

I see this every day when I take my kids to school, soccer, or other sporting events.