A NOTE FROM THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA TO THE PEOPLE OF UKRAINE
Regarding your recent request for assistance: sorry, but you’ve caught us at a bad time and we won’t be able to help in your struggle for freedom. Try to hold out until January 2017. Hopefully, we’ll be in a better position to help you out then. Good luck and hang in there.
Perfect.
*footnote: We’re too busy decreasing the size of our military and increasing the number of those on food stamps.