For some, like me, it’s more about the forced ‘charity’ at the point of a gun. 2nd is the abuse and generational misuse; and since gov’t doesn’t care about fraud (it’s not their $$), it makes the 1st point all that more contemptible.
I don’t generally mind the first part. It’s difficult to find the help you may need without a known “go to this place” kind of deal. Sure, churches, but, honestly, that’s a big “maybe.”
Your second point is where I hate the system, too. Maybe you can’t have the first without the second following for the reasons you stated? I don’t know.