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My daughter's boyfriend put pressure on her to have an abortion
The Guardian ^ | August 30, 2013 | Annalisa Barbieri

Posted on 08/30/2013 9:39:01 PM PDT by Pinkbell

My daughter has been with her boyfriend for four years. He comes from a large, tight-knit family from a diaspora community. Our family is small, although also from a foreign community. My daughter has a good job with good salary, supports herself and lives on her own. Her boyfriend has a degree and a postgraduate qualification, lives with his parents and works with his father.

His parents have never taken to my daughter, until recently behaving coldly and never asking her about herself. (These are her words; I have never met them.)

I liked her boyfriend when I first met him. I have always been welcoming. He is warm and friendly, although without much depth, and, it seemed, always putting his relatives before my daughter. I had reservations about him as a long-term prospect for her. I did discuss this and she assured me they complemented each other and she wanted to marry him and for him to be the father of her children.

Last Christmas, she hoped he would ask her to marry him. Then came the bombshell. She found she was pregnant. She told him and he immediately said he didn't want her to keep it and she should have an abortion. She was very upset, calling me in tears, saying that he was putting pressure on her. I rang and asked him not to, and he said they would decide together. I have never spoken to him again.

She eventually decided to have the abortion, although right up to the day she was in turmoil as to whether it was the right decision, particularly since she had had a termination at 16. She has told me his parents don't know about it. She had asked him to tell them, but as far as we know he hasn't.

(Excerpt) Read more at theguardian.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: abortion; moralabsolutes; prolife
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You can see the rest of this question and response to it at the link. It sounds like the boyfriend is controlling of this woman to a point and doesn't want to commit to her. Ultimately, however, she made her decision and stays with him and got an abortion. This is an example of abortion benefiting men. He can sleep with her and keep her until he either decides to commit or move on (likely the latter), but he'll have no responsibility for a child he didn't want. Sad.

Her mother writes this in, and we find this isn't the first abortion she's had done as she aborted at 16. Her mother is supportive of her abortions too. The only problem she has with her grandchild being aborted was that perhaps her daughter didn't want the abortion. As long as she did, it was ok with her.

1 posted on 08/30/2013 9:39:01 PM PDT by Pinkbell
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To: Pinkbell

My thought in these situations is why didn’t you take the baby?


2 posted on 08/30/2013 9:42:31 PM PDT by montanajoe
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To: Pinkbell

Utter trash.


3 posted on 08/30/2013 9:42:48 PM PDT by Viennacon
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To: Pinkbell

Girl without a soul forced by her boyfriend without a soul, killing a baby with a soul.


4 posted on 08/30/2013 9:45:42 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: doc1019

We all have souls, unfortunately, some are seared and close to death.


5 posted on 08/30/2013 9:48:29 PM PDT by A Formerly Proud Canadian (I once was lost but now I'm found; blind but now I see.)
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To: Pinkbell

I don’t know why women are so gullible...so inclined to follow a guy......and why stay with a guy for several yrs who apparently has no intention of making it serious....


6 posted on 08/30/2013 9:50:04 PM PDT by cherry
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To: All


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7 posted on 08/30/2013 9:53:23 PM PDT by musicman (Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
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To: cherry

That has been a mystery to me also. Are some women so blinded by “love” that they fail to see the reality?


8 posted on 08/30/2013 9:53:24 PM PDT by entropy12 (With no fear of re-election, Obama is becoming more radical left..thanks a lot all you who abstained)
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To: Pinkbell

The mother needs to realize that most men are all to willing to be cads. The sooner women realize that men are only as responsible as women make them to be in a relationship the sooner they’ll find a guy that will marry them. If her daughter would quit putting her feet in the the air for the guy he’d either marry her or leave. Either way the problem is solved.

It is simply that simple. If she wants the guy to commit to her stop mating with him until after she stands under a canopy with him.

The old saw applies here: “Why buy a cow when you get the milk for free?”


9 posted on 08/30/2013 9:58:06 PM PDT by Fai Mao (Genius at Large)
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To: doc1019

They all have souls.

What have you ever done to save any of them?


10 posted on 08/30/2013 10:00:09 PM PDT by sarasmom (The obvious takes longer to discover for the obtuse.)
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To: Pinkbell
I fully accept her decision to have an abortion, but what I can't accept is that a man who professes to love my daughter would press her to have an abortion because "he is not ready". And she is still with him, hoping he will ask her to marry him, and wanting to marry him, this man who forced her to terminate her pregnancy because it didn't suit him.

What the hell is she talking about? She accepts her daughter's decision to have the abortion, but can't accept the boyfriend's decision to abort the baby?

11 posted on 08/30/2013 10:02:17 PM PDT by Slyfox (Without the Right to Life, all other rights are meaningless.)
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To: A Formerly Proud Canadian
Mahap I should define it a little better:

Girl without a soul conscience forced by her boyfriend without a soul conscience, killing a baby with a soul.

How's that?

12 posted on 08/30/2013 10:02:45 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: sarasmom

Have you looked at my personal page?


13 posted on 08/30/2013 10:04:27 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: Fai Mao
I don't get why anyone who claims to be against abortion would allow their daughter to have one under any circumstances..

If my kids father/mother a child they are not having an abortion period. I'm taking that child..

14 posted on 08/30/2013 10:05:34 PM PDT by montanajoe
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To: Pinkbell
My daughter and son-in-law have one 2 year old little boy. My daughter is an only child, and I fear her boy will be her only child, as she's had two miscarriages. I know it shouldn't, but it bothers me that this young woman has aborted two of her mother's grandchildren, and it doesn't seem to matter to her mother.
15 posted on 08/30/2013 10:39:05 PM PDT by Razz Barry (Round'em up, send'em home.)
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To: All


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16 posted on 08/30/2013 10:41:32 PM PDT by musicman (Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
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To: montanajoe

What? As if she had the chance.


17 posted on 08/30/2013 11:02:05 PM PDT by autumnraine (America how long will you be so deaf and dumb to thoe tumbril wheels carrying you to the guillotine?)
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To: doc1019

No.

Why do you you think I should?


18 posted on 08/30/2013 11:02:53 PM PDT by sarasmom (The obvious takes longer to discover for the obtuse.)
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To: montanajoe

Again... what? Why do I expect Freepers to actually read the articles? Whwn will I learn?

What country do you live in that you can kidnap a grown woman and force her to carry a child to term?


19 posted on 08/30/2013 11:04:55 PM PDT by autumnraine (America how long will you be so deaf and dumb to thoe tumbril wheels carrying you to the guillotine?)
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To: sarasmom

Might give you some idea were my head is at concerning abortion.


20 posted on 08/30/2013 11:06:24 PM PDT by doc1019
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