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My daughter's boyfriend put pressure on her to have an abortion
The Guardian ^ | August 30, 2013 | Annalisa Barbieri

Posted on 08/30/2013 9:39:01 PM PDT by Pinkbell

My daughter has been with her boyfriend for four years. He comes from a large, tight-knit family from a diaspora community. Our family is small, although also from a foreign community. My daughter has a good job with good salary, supports herself and lives on her own. Her boyfriend has a degree and a postgraduate qualification, lives with his parents and works with his father.

His parents have never taken to my daughter, until recently behaving coldly and never asking her about herself. (These are her words; I have never met them.)

I liked her boyfriend when I first met him. I have always been welcoming. He is warm and friendly, although without much depth, and, it seemed, always putting his relatives before my daughter. I had reservations about him as a long-term prospect for her. I did discuss this and she assured me they complemented each other and she wanted to marry him and for him to be the father of her children.

Last Christmas, she hoped he would ask her to marry him. Then came the bombshell. She found she was pregnant. She told him and he immediately said he didn't want her to keep it and she should have an abortion. She was very upset, calling me in tears, saying that he was putting pressure on her. I rang and asked him not to, and he said they would decide together. I have never spoken to him again.

She eventually decided to have the abortion, although right up to the day she was in turmoil as to whether it was the right decision, particularly since she had had a termination at 16. She has told me his parents don't know about it. She had asked him to tell them, but as far as we know he hasn't.

(Excerpt) Read more at theguardian.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: abortion; moralabsolutes; prolife
You can see the rest of this question and response to it at the link. It sounds like the boyfriend is controlling of this woman to a point and doesn't want to commit to her. Ultimately, however, she made her decision and stays with him and got an abortion. This is an example of abortion benefiting men. He can sleep with her and keep her until he either decides to commit or move on (likely the latter), but he'll have no responsibility for a child he didn't want. Sad.

Her mother writes this in, and we find this isn't the first abortion she's had done as she aborted at 16. Her mother is supportive of her abortions too. The only problem she has with her grandchild being aborted was that perhaps her daughter didn't want the abortion. As long as she did, it was ok with her.

1 posted on 08/30/2013 9:39:01 PM PDT by Pinkbell
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To: Pinkbell

My thought in these situations is why didn’t you take the baby?


2 posted on 08/30/2013 9:42:31 PM PDT by montanajoe
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To: Pinkbell

Utter trash.


3 posted on 08/30/2013 9:42:48 PM PDT by Viennacon
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To: Pinkbell

Girl without a soul forced by her boyfriend without a soul, killing a baby with a soul.


4 posted on 08/30/2013 9:45:42 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: doc1019

We all have souls, unfortunately, some are seared and close to death.


5 posted on 08/30/2013 9:48:29 PM PDT by A Formerly Proud Canadian (I once was lost but now I'm found; blind but now I see.)
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To: Pinkbell

I don’t know why women are so gullible...so inclined to follow a guy......and why stay with a guy for several yrs who apparently has no intention of making it serious....


6 posted on 08/30/2013 9:50:04 PM PDT by cherry
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To: All


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7 posted on 08/30/2013 9:53:23 PM PDT by musicman (Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
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To: cherry

That has been a mystery to me also. Are some women so blinded by “love” that they fail to see the reality?


8 posted on 08/30/2013 9:53:24 PM PDT by entropy12 (With no fear of re-election, Obama is becoming more radical left..thanks a lot all you who abstained)
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To: Pinkbell

The mother needs to realize that most men are all to willing to be cads. The sooner women realize that men are only as responsible as women make them to be in a relationship the sooner they’ll find a guy that will marry them. If her daughter would quit putting her feet in the the air for the guy he’d either marry her or leave. Either way the problem is solved.

It is simply that simple. If she wants the guy to commit to her stop mating with him until after she stands under a canopy with him.

The old saw applies here: “Why buy a cow when you get the milk for free?”


9 posted on 08/30/2013 9:58:06 PM PDT by Fai Mao (Genius at Large)
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To: doc1019

They all have souls.

What have you ever done to save any of them?


10 posted on 08/30/2013 10:00:09 PM PDT by sarasmom (The obvious takes longer to discover for the obtuse.)
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To: Pinkbell
I fully accept her decision to have an abortion, but what I can't accept is that a man who professes to love my daughter would press her to have an abortion because "he is not ready". And she is still with him, hoping he will ask her to marry him, and wanting to marry him, this man who forced her to terminate her pregnancy because it didn't suit him.

What the hell is she talking about? She accepts her daughter's decision to have the abortion, but can't accept the boyfriend's decision to abort the baby?

11 posted on 08/30/2013 10:02:17 PM PDT by Slyfox (Without the Right to Life, all other rights are meaningless.)
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To: A Formerly Proud Canadian
Mahap I should define it a little better:

Girl without a soul conscience forced by her boyfriend without a soul conscience, killing a baby with a soul.

How's that?

12 posted on 08/30/2013 10:02:45 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: sarasmom

Have you looked at my personal page?


13 posted on 08/30/2013 10:04:27 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: Fai Mao
I don't get why anyone who claims to be against abortion would allow their daughter to have one under any circumstances..

If my kids father/mother a child they are not having an abortion period. I'm taking that child..

14 posted on 08/30/2013 10:05:34 PM PDT by montanajoe
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To: Pinkbell
My daughter and son-in-law have one 2 year old little boy. My daughter is an only child, and I fear her boy will be her only child, as she's had two miscarriages. I know it shouldn't, but it bothers me that this young woman has aborted two of her mother's grandchildren, and it doesn't seem to matter to her mother.
15 posted on 08/30/2013 10:39:05 PM PDT by Razz Barry (Round'em up, send'em home.)
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To: All


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16 posted on 08/30/2013 10:41:32 PM PDT by musicman (Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
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To: montanajoe

What? As if she had the chance.


17 posted on 08/30/2013 11:02:05 PM PDT by autumnraine (America how long will you be so deaf and dumb to thoe tumbril wheels carrying you to the guillotine?)
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To: doc1019

No.

Why do you you think I should?


18 posted on 08/30/2013 11:02:53 PM PDT by sarasmom (The obvious takes longer to discover for the obtuse.)
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To: montanajoe

Again... what? Why do I expect Freepers to actually read the articles? Whwn will I learn?

What country do you live in that you can kidnap a grown woman and force her to carry a child to term?


19 posted on 08/30/2013 11:04:55 PM PDT by autumnraine (America how long will you be so deaf and dumb to thoe tumbril wheels carrying you to the guillotine?)
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To: sarasmom

Might give you some idea were my head is at concerning abortion.


20 posted on 08/30/2013 11:06:24 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: cherry
I don’t know why women are so gullible...so inclined to follow a guy......and why stay with a guy for several yrs who apparently has no intention of making it serious....

They always have been, that's why up until now young women living with their parents did not "date".

A young man interested in courting a man's daughter was expected to ask her father's permission to do so.

As far as making a final determination on marriage, a father's approval was a societal norm.

Of course, young people have always routinely flown in the face of reason, so quite often the process was far from perfect in practice. Nonetheless, it was a general guide for society, as was avoiding sex outside the bonds of marriage.

It's always worked well to fend off suitors who had no good intentions, were immature or simply did not measure up in being able to provide (as in the case of golddiggers). And women used to realize that doing this in this way has several invaluable advantages for them, for example, being able to break off or avoid a man they don't like (use father to be the "bad guy"), having someone to ask what they think about a prospect who is a) truly concerned with their happiness and b) not emotionally attached to the suitor at all, etc. Mothers participated as well in the "screening" process and of course have influence with their husbands, giving the father another invaluable viewpoint.

Breaking down that system in the America and Europe over the 19th and 20th centuries was a key part of new world order being able to break down the family structure in society and induce immorality as a culturally accepted norm.

Nowadays we would look upon such an "archaic" system with horror. We'd prefer to shack up and get married "by default" with someone we met in a bar, started dating and quickly moved in with.

It's interesting to note that new world order families mysteriously all seem to marry within their new world order clans - perhaps not so much by "force", but they certainly "clue in" their children. Sometimes a new world order daughter will marry a man who is born a "nobody" (not nwo by birth) but has worked his way up the new world order ladder as a minion/operative. NWO lives the "smart" way in this regard, and they understand the benefits of living this way, which is exactly why they want the "little people" to disregard it and live like feral pigs.
21 posted on 08/30/2013 11:07:16 PM PDT by PieterCasparzen (We have to fix things ourselves)
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To: doc1019

Are you running around telling young men to refrain from having sex?

No?

Then I have a very good idea of “where your head is at”.


22 posted on 08/30/2013 11:13:27 PM PDT by sarasmom (The obvious takes longer to discover for the obtuse.)
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To: entropy12

Nowhere near all of them are blinded by anything external to themselves.

A great many simply do not want the drain on their time and attention that a child requires. Much of the time even if they have an idea who the father was he will never know about the pregnancy.


23 posted on 08/30/2013 11:13:59 PM PDT by MrEdd (Heck? Geewhiz Cripes, thats the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aint going.)
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To: sarasmom

OK, gee you win. My efforts to save unborn babies are all in vane. I guess I should spend my time trying to get boys not to be boys. Time is so short, what to do, what to do.


24 posted on 08/30/2013 11:17:54 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: entropy12

>> blinded by “love”

Her need for “love” was obviously more important than life itself.


25 posted on 08/30/2013 11:21:47 PM PDT by Gene Eric (Don't be a statist!)
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To: Pinkbell
Tragic and this will haunt this girl later.
26 posted on 08/30/2013 11:24:20 PM PDT by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God Bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: autumnraine
What country do you live in that you can kidnap a grown woman and force her to carry a child to term?

This grown woman has the choice about whether to get pregnant or not. The child has no choice about whether he or she is conceived.

What kind of country is it that encourages killing innocent children who have no choice as a routine form of birth control?

27 posted on 08/30/2013 11:31:02 PM PDT by exDemMom (Now that I've finally accepted that I'm living a bad hair life, I'm more at peace with the world.)
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To: Pinkbell
Then came the bombshell. She found she was pregnant.

It was probably closer to this: "She decided to stop taking her birth control pills without telling her boyfriend, thinking that if she became pregnant he would be pressured into marrying her. Then she found she was pregnant, exactly as she had planned."

I once spoke with a young woman who confessed to doing exactly that. I don't know why she confided in me, but she didn't seem at all embarrassed. She was just a few months pregnant, and she intended to keep the baby. The boyfriend had so far not proposed. She thought it was possible that he would. The baby was important, the father was not. The court would force him to pay child support. She hoped she would be a good mother. The notion that a good mother tries to ensure that a father will be an active part of his child's life had apparently never occurred to her. It was all about her and her baby.

If the boyfriend of the woman in the article is actually the father, then of course he is scum to want his (or any) child aborted. That's probably why she chose him.

28 posted on 08/30/2013 11:32:43 PM PDT by TChad
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To: Pinkbell

If only she kept her knees together and just gave him a Lewinsky, a child would not have been murdered in the Womb and the Woman wouldn’t be emotionally scarred for life.


29 posted on 08/30/2013 11:32:48 PM PDT by Kickass Conservative (Liberal Democrats = Communists. RINO Republicans = Communist Sympathizers.)
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To: doc1019

You try to secretively brag about openly abusing your limited government authority, and expect me, and the rest of us here, to applaud it?


30 posted on 08/30/2013 11:33:36 PM PDT by sarasmom (The obvious takes longer to discover for the obtuse.)
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To: doc1019

thank you, the only one so far who got this right.


31 posted on 08/30/2013 11:38:11 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: Pinkbell

The thing I don’t understand...there are so many methods of birth control. Why put yourself in the position to have to do such a thing?

Yeah...I’m not a kid. But I was at one time.


32 posted on 08/30/2013 11:38:54 PM PDT by berdie
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To: sarasmom
Secretively? No way, I do what I have to do.

abusing your limited government authority

I know my rights under the law and use that knowledge to protest with authority.

and expect me, and the rest of us here, to applaud it

No, I just want to save babies. When I stand before Jesus, I will be able to say that I did my best to save babies and that is all I ask.

What will you say?

33 posted on 08/30/2013 11:43:54 PM PDT by doc1019
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To: cherry

Why especially stay with a guy who would pressure you to kill your own child? She did have an abortion at 16, and her mom is pro-abortions, so maybe she beileves the lie that she’s just killing a nonperson, a blob of cells, a parasite, etc. However, she did have reservations, so maybe she knew deep down it was a baby, but her love for the creep prevailed, and she proceeded to have an abortion.


34 posted on 08/30/2013 11:48:06 PM PDT by Pinkbell
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To: exDemMom

I don’t disagree that abortion is horrific. It’s. the “if this was MY daughter “crap that I just wonder about the sanity.


35 posted on 08/30/2013 11:55:59 PM PDT by autumnraine (America how long will you be so deaf and dumb to thoe tumbril wheels carrying you to the guillotine?)
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To: Secret Agent Man; TChad

This is a bash men thread

How many men exactly have had abortions?

Polls wise....amongst whites... men oppose abortion more than women

And we can’t stop them legally that I know of

40 million dead babies and that blood lies directly at the feet of the women who had them

They cant be independent and subservient same time

Worst thing about white men....the only ones I can speak for us they gave their wives their balls to hold for them


36 posted on 08/31/2013 12:08:00 AM PDT by wardaddy (the next Dark Ages are coming as Western Civilization crumbles with nary a whimper)
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To: TChad

the left love forcing all the dysfunction and pitting different groups against one another. that’s one of the reasons they do all this idiot stuff.


37 posted on 08/31/2013 12:27:55 AM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: wardaddy

Wardaady I love your posts.

But on this subject we may have to disagree.

The world we live in is a strange place. There is usually no commitment between a man and a women when they have sex and create another life. (Please note I did not say “make love”)

The women, in a perfect world, would be the guardians. But it is a joint decision to “hook up” for the evening.

I think the nonsense is a product of our times.


38 posted on 08/31/2013 12:39:36 AM PDT by berdie
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To: berdie

This nonsense is a byproduct of the shelving of the word SHAME and too much of the government great society which got all this really going.


39 posted on 08/31/2013 12:41:27 AM PDT by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God Bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: Secret Agent Man
the left love forcing all the dysfunction and pitting different groups against one another. that’s one of the reasons they do all this idiot stuff.

It works. The left tells members of various groups "You are oppressed victims!" It is an irresistible sirens' call.

40 posted on 08/31/2013 12:43:54 AM PDT by TChad
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To: wardaddy
Worst thing about white men....the only ones I can speak for us they gave their wives their balls to hold for them

I know a few exceptions, but only a few.

41 posted on 08/31/2013 12:45:13 AM PDT by TChad
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To: wardaddy

Well said, and there’s plenty to add.


42 posted on 08/31/2013 12:48:43 AM PDT by Gene Eric (Don't be a statist!)
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To: A CA Guy

I actually wonder how many young people connect their actions with shame. Or if they even know what shame is.

But then I look back at the days I grew up. We didn’t pay any regard to our parents values (at the time).

Things have become more extreme...and I fear that will continue to be the case.


43 posted on 08/31/2013 12:53:45 AM PDT by berdie
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To: Pinkbell

Any “boyfriend” who advocates killing his own child is NOT husband/father material.


44 posted on 08/31/2013 5:38:03 AM PDT by rfreedom4u (I have a copy of the Constitution! And I'm not afraid to use it!)
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To: PieterCasparzen

It’s still that way in conservative circles.


45 posted on 08/31/2013 5:39:48 AM PDT by freedomfiter2 (Brutal acts of commission and yawning acts of omission both strengthen the hand of the devil.)
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To: doc1019
Girl without a soul forced by her boyfriend without a soul, killing a baby with a soul.

Took me 3x reading that with my dyslexia to get it right. Yep - I think you nailed it.

46 posted on 08/31/2013 5:43:39 AM PDT by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: Pinkbell
He comes from a large, tight-knit family from a diaspora community.

What a convoluted way to say "muslim". Can't say it out straight in Britain anymore, eh?

Western girls hooking up with muzzies always get burned in the end. Sometimes literally so. Yet they keep ignoring the wealth of evidence that bad things will happen. My sympathy for these fools is used up.

47 posted on 08/31/2013 6:03:14 AM PDT by Moltke (Sapere aude!)
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To: autumnraine

I’d physically restrain any women intent upon killing her child. I don’t care how old the child is. She has no right.

Call it kidnapping, do you? A very inappropriate characterization in my opinion. People trying to kill children should not be “free.”


48 posted on 08/31/2013 7:22:22 AM PDT by Persevero (Why does my tagline keep disappearing)
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To: berdie
They replaced shame with moral relevancy and the great society/government hand.

Until shame and responsibility get back America may not get back any of it’s old great self I fear.

49 posted on 08/31/2013 10:20:21 AM PDT by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God Bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: Pinkbell

If he does not want his own baby, he does not want her either.

She should dump him and keep her baby. Then get child support.


50 posted on 09/01/2013 10:50:32 PM PDT by Morgana (Always a bit of truth in dark humor.)
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