Skip to comments.Chirlane McCray Speaks About Falling In Love With A Man After Being A Lesbian
Posted on 05/10/2013 8:45:32 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Chirlane McCrays 1979 Essence essay I Am a Lesbian, broke boundaries, marking the first time a Black gay woman shared her sexuality openly.
RELATED: Chirlane McCray Controversy Proves Its Time To Get Out Of Peoples Bedrooms
Today, McCray is married to N.Y.C. Public Advocate and Mayoral Candidate Bill de Blasio (pictured right), sharing with Essence how she transitioned into a traditional marriage. According to McCray, her shift to a heterosexual union was natural, happening by putting aside the assumptions I had about the form and package my love would come in. By letting myself be as free as I felt when I went natural.
Asked if it was strange dating a man suddenly, McCray said her relationship with de Blasio was simple attraction:
I came out at 17. I hadnt really dated any men. I thought, Whoa, what is this? But I also didnt think, Oh, now Im attracted to men. I was attracted to Bill. He felt like the perfect person for me. For two people who look so different, we have a lot in common. We are a very conventional, unconventional couple.
On the topic of if shes still attracted to women, McCray said,Im married, Im monogamous, but Im not dead. However, dont call her bisexual:
I am more than just a label. Why are people so driven to labeling where we fall on the sexual spectrum? Labels put people in boxes, and those boxes are shaped like coffins. Finding the right person can be so hard, that often, when a person finally finds someone she or he is comfortable with, she or he just makes it work. As my friend Vanessa says, Its not whom you love; its that you love.
McCray first met de Blasio in 1991 while working for the New York Commission On Human Rights. De Blasio was an aide to then-mayor David Dinkins.
I was wearing West African-inspired clothing and a nose ring, and Bill says he had the love-at-first-sight experience. I did note what a good-looking guy he was and that he was funny and smart and made other people laugh. And despite what others may say, McCray is confident in her marriage:
I know my husband loves me fiercely and passionately. I know he supports me and will always stand up for me.
Insert bad joke here.
“I am more than just a label. Why are people so driven to labeling where we fall on the sexual spectrum? “
Maybe it was the “I am a lesbian” part?
“The Well Of Lonliness”, Radclyffe Hall. She called it “inversion”.
I'd like to find an older one to read it for myself, but I'm growing more convinced the earlier version was likely closer to the truth than where we are now.
To be honest, I don't know, but what I see looks more like adaptations to meeting mental/emotional/physical wants and needs where no acceptable/normal solutions exist, along with the rationalizations necessary to make the adaptations fit acceptably with the rest of one's metal emotional programming and the world.
Our current world seems to now aggressively push these adaptations to us and to children as being acceptably normal, yet "normal" is probably not accurate, as the earlier DSM editions likely described.
Where truth and agenda disagree, truth needs far better lobbyists. Agenda wins every time. "If it feels good, do it."
Now they are told that they must be attracted to the same sex. Once again they believe it.
Politics aside, this woman is doing a service to the growing number of (intentionally) sexually confused young people by speaking out. She’s a walking, talking implosion of quite a few leftist stereotypes. You know she got a lot of flak for it and continues to get a lot of flak. I’d imagine she and Camille Paglia would get on rather well. I wish her every success in her marriage. She chose the right path.
Many women, who are lesbians, were sexually abused as children. It appears that sexual abuse of children plays a large part in their future sexual identity and mental health issues if they don’t get help. And we know that many children who are abused do not tell anyone until they are much older.
You’re correct and it’s odd to see so many conservatives making fun of her because she decided to change her life for the better, no matter what her politics are. We need more testimonies like this in the mainstream so that young people know that the media message isn’t always the right message.
Agreed. We can be our own worst enemies at times.
putting aside the assumptions I had about the form and package my love would come in.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Wel Chirlane finally figured out what a proper package was.
Its OK Chirline, it took you a while but you finally got the right peg in the hole.