Posted on 05/08/2013 3:14:59 AM PDT by grundle
PORT JEFFERSON, N.Y. (AP) -- With the beaming smiles of newlyweds, Paul Forziano and Hava Samuels hold hands, exchange adoring glances and complete each other's sentences. Their first wedding dance, he recalls, was to the song "Unchained ..." ''Melody," she chimes in.
They spend their days together in the performing arts education center where they met. But every night, they must part ways. Forziano goes to his group home. His wife goes to hers.
The mentally disabled couple is not allowed to share a bedroom by the state-sanctioned nonprofits that run the group homes — a practice the newlyweds and their parents are now challenging in a federal civil rights lawsuit.
"We're very sad when we leave each other," Forziano says. "I want to live with my wife, because I love her."
The couple had been considering marriage for three years before tying the knot last month, and they contend in their lawsuit that they were refused permission from their respective group homes to live together as husband and wife. The couple's parents, also plaintiffs in the lawsuit, said they have been seeking a solution since 2010.
"It's not something we wanted to do, it's something we had to do," said Bonnie Samuels, the mother of the bride.
The lawsuit contends Forziano's facility refused because people requiring the services of a group home are by definition incapable of living as married people, and it says Samuels' home refused because it believes she doesn't have the mental capacity to consent to sex.
(Excerpt) Read more at news.yahoo.com ...
You need to get up to speed on the modern forms of birth control. It’s not just the pill or condom anymore. There is an implant that lasts for three years at a time. You literally get a shot with the implant, takes about 2 minutes for the whole procedure. Don’t have to think about it until time to replace it.
I think you’re right about services for disabled couples.
But I suspect for many group homes for the mentally retarded, things are much easier to handle if they are single-sex.
It’s good to have a variety of things for a variety of people, but not to force everything to be for everyone.
Weird.
They cannot function on their own in society yet, they were allowed to enter into a contract and “consensual” relationship?
Either they require care or they do not.
I agree, these parents should have taken the kids in, everybody wants the state to do every folking thing they don’t want to do and that is part of the problem is all these people wanting to make their problem someone else’s problem
I have a millionaire friend whose daughter is practically without a brain and their solution was to get the state to take her on, pixes me off
“They cannot function on their own in society yet, they were allowed to enter into a contract and “consensual” relationship? Either they require care or they do not.”
That’s way to simplistic of a view IMHO.
What about the couple in the white house?
I see your point. You can’t have mixed singles as it were. Not for the couples sake but for the sake of the single folks.
But homes seem to be expressing an “ick” factor that would have us lableled as bigoted and prejudiced against the disabled. Not to mention paternalistic: she doesn’t know how to consent to sex? Really? You[they] know that how?
Perhaps a “new paradigm” can be created. They love creating paradigms all the time.
Would it be possible for the parents of the couple to get them an apartment or something?
You sure can mandate it. It’s been done before for folks with inheritable disabilities.
Aggravates me to no end to see those same ideas defended here.
I don’t work with disabled women, but I can imagine having the lack of an ability to consent being a real issue.
It’s okay with me if women-only homes for the disabled choose to stay that way. (Even though already I’m sure they’d be obligated to take in those who ‘identify as’ women, but are men.)
I agree. Surely, there is a group home somewhere that will take this couple.
Disabled adults can lead very lonely lives, so the quality of their lives could greatly improve if they have one another.
May God bless them.
And we see many times over that ppl (evidently of higher intelligence) who are required to take their medication on a regular basis, do so religiously...right! What could possibly go wrong?
generally they don’t enter into contracts.
contracts for commerce are one thing.
marriage is an institution.
akin to voting rights.
They may never have be adjudicted incompetent enough on THOSE specific issues.
What I posted to someone else who also thinks that the only option of birth control is the pill I guess.
You need to get up to speed on the modern forms of birth control. It’s not just the pill or condom anymore. There is an implant that lasts for three years at a time. You literally get a shot with the implant, takes about 2 minutes for the whole procedure. Don’t have to think about it until time to replace it.
If anything, this makes me angrier at abortions. There are things you don’t even have to THINK about and it will you from getting pregnant. No excuses.
the issue must be production of children. If children are produced what does the group home do?
Retarded Dims walk the streets and vote. How could this be any worse.
She is now 86. She was forceps damaged in a hard delivery at a New Mexico road camp in the 20s
Slightly retarded..like touched.
She had boyfriends but nothing beyond playfulness
they were all Downs boys and died pretty young...
these girls are very vulnerable sexually...to say the least
we help take care of her, she's been a joy and keeps on ticking..she is one of only 3-4 older relatives I know have
i’m ambivalent on this
Good point also.
All of this should have been an issue before they were allowed to be married to the huzzahs of the gathered adoring assemblage. SOMEBODY thought they should be allowed to be married because disabled people are people too!
[Please note the cynical snark here...]
But now they want to treat them as if their little playtime is over. “You had your wedding and, while it was so much fun, you can’t REALLY be married.” The couple is apprently aware enough that they know they are married and they know they should be together.
Manybe Moms and Dads step in and come up with their own home and 24hr care or something. I don’t know.
Do we as a society WANT to encourage people who cannot function on their own get married? I don’t, but someone did. Now that community should do something to let it work out: a small apartment building for couples maybe? Or a dorm type situation?
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