Skip to comments.Feminist Theories Offer Cold Comfort at 40
Posted on 05/04/2013 9:55:07 PM PDT by grundle
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Most American women absorbed feminism into their brains and it ruined lives: their own if they didn’t marry and both partners if they did. Women need feminism like a fish needs a bicycle. Finally I married a Philippine woman and have been happy since.
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You bring up some real key points because the sacrifice isn’t just for the individual. Its sacrificing the whole potential for an integrated family. Waiting too long as you indicated guarantees even if you have children how be it late in life they may never have grand parents. Now that is something I couldn’t have imagined because my grand parents played such a huge role in my life. I even had the blessing of knowing two of my great grandparents.
It is true there is a cost and I know how it is to sometimes envy the fact that others have nicer cars and bigger houses etc but when I weigh it in my mind would I trade even one of my 6 children for a bigger house or car or more partying? Never. I can’t even understand people who don’t want children anymore. They strike me as selfish beyond belief and seldom has that assessment not been the case outside of the priesthood. Its their choice of course and I pity them for it. They’ll never experience the joy of the birth of a child and holding that small perfect being that will look at you like you are the center of their world and love you so fully. They will never hear the ‘da-d-da-d-daa-dad’ or see the first steps or hear their baby laugh. They wont be able to hold the hand of their baby and see how it looks like a little replica of their own. There is so much richness and beauty they will miss. They will miss what at a very basic level is the essence of being human.
I have a friend who just turned 72. Had a high paying career. Now she is widowed, no children and alone. I spend more time dealing with her than my 91 year old mother. Mother can keep herself occupied with reading, quilting and gardening. None of which my friend ever learned how to do.
Advising female students to look for a mate in college because there would never be such a high concentration of well-educated, eligible men surrounding them.
Get a pay check and a free ride in one shot,then hum I are woman.
Thank you for your comments. I actually wouldn’t have minded having children or marriage, it is the dating culture that I never have had the stomach for even as a middle schooler. Maybe I took the easy way out by immersing myself in activities I enjoy.
I don’t live the fanciest of lives, but I am as busy as the average soccer mom with a very fulfilling life. It doesn’t include my own biological children. (I am seriously considering becoming a Big Sister for Big Brothers/Big Sisters because I recently met a remarkable teenage girl through other volunteer work and would love to continue helping her once the project we are working on is over)
"Careers" are crap.
You are always nothing more than a long-term contractor working at below market rates, to be terminated whenever you appear less useful or a bit older than you once were. A career is really an apprenticeship for running your own business, and the younger one makes that transition the better off one will be.
Feminists seem to think (paternalistically) that women can call themselves successful if they can carve out an affirmative action role next to successful young executive Bob Loblaw in the years before he becomes CEO of MegaCorp, because Bob has coattails and will lift those who helped him into high offices beside him as long as they work 80 hours a week and polish Bob's shoes on Sundays.
Corporate America, of course, does not work that way - as Bob's senior staff will be made up of a few trusted, non-affirmative action insiders...plus some top outsiders stolen from the competition at a higher price than MegaCorp would ever pay Miss Affirmative Action. Meanwhile, she has just turned 40 and has missed out on marriage and family for essentially nothing, because all the money she made went to pay for the lifestyle she needed to maintain as an up-and-coming MegaCorp executive.
But CEO Bob has managed to have a wife and two kids in Greenwich, CT.
The point is, women can't really do things in the order men do them. A reinvented social order where women married by 21,had two or three kids, sent them off to (preferably private) school, then went back to college and emerged in their early thirties as wiser, more experienced human beings with a lot to offer a potential employer would make much more sense. But when presented with that concept feminists would revert immediately to kindergarten form: "No fair! Bobby got his big salary first!" :)
Why so many of them turn lesbo. No man wants them, so all they have is each other to turn to.
Funny thing though, Ashley married a race car driver.
"They will miss what at a very basic level is the essence of being human."
You're absolutely right. I can't think of anything as beautiful as a baby giggle and few things even come close to equaling it.
I’m busy enough too, for me. I teach middle school. I take them off their parents’ hands when they are most obnoxious, those years from 11-14. That’s my contribution to society, and I consider it just right for my abilities and capacities (another way of saying that when I get home at night, I really just want peace and quiet. LOL!)
God bless you.
About 20% of women hitting 45 today have never had children, instead of the standard 10% childless. About 10-15% only had one child. The rest had two or more, giving us a total fertility rate of 1.8.
If feminists didn’t succeed in passing on their extreme views, just the 10% that normally had children but didn’t among the Baby Boomers is replaced by girls who have 1-3 kids - and we’ll be back to domestic replacement level fertility.
But the impact on fertility makes it clear a lot of women did buy the “career first, then maybe marriage and kids” but never did have the kids.
Loneliness is everything it's cracked up to be. Men and women weren't programmed to go through life this way.
For linking early marriage to happiness she was excoriated by an onslaught of Ivy League grads and their intellectual peers who labeled her everything from elitist to archaic.
This sounds like another way higher education does more harm than good.
Here's an honest query: Can you be elitist and archaic at the same time?
Know what? That’s great. You were not deceived, rather, you have chosen well. I do know some great women for whom children really isn’t their thing and I respect that. Not everyone should get married or have kids. In fact, St. Paul wrote that he thought it was better not to marry.
This thread is about those who willingly and eagerly bought into the feminist lie without so much as even testing to see that it was a lie.
That, my FRiend, is a wise respone from someone who correctly interpreted what he has witnessed in life.
I used to teach the introductory Management course to college undergraduates. Towards the end of the course we had a session on managing your own career (if you don't manage your career, someone else will and you won't like it). My personal advice to the women in the class was to imitate Margaret Thatcher and Indira Gandhi. "Have your children first, then become Prime Minister." Or whatever is their personal equivalent of becoming Prime Minister.
I admire you for allowing your children to make their own decisions and live their own lives. Not an easy thing to do.
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