Laraine: By the way, are you planning to eat the placenta?
Gilda: Youre kidding! You mean the afterbirth?
Laraine: Thats right. Many mammals eat their own placenta. Its nutritious, its 100 percent natural, and now that youre going to have a family, youve got to watch your food budget more than ever. And theres no cheaper meat than placenta.
Gilda: But is there enough placenta to make a complete meal for my husband and myself?
Laraine: Not if your husband has a hearty appetite like mine. And thats why you need Placenta Helper.
Gilda: Placenta Helper?
Laraine: Thats right. Placenta Helper lets you stretch your placenta into a tasty casserole. [Holds up a box of Placenta Helper.] Like Placenta Romanoffa zesty blend of cheeses makes for the zingy sauce that Russian czars commanded at palace feasts. Or Placenta Oriental. An exotic mixture of oriental vegetables and exotic herbs and spices creates an exotic meal. Look, you can have placenta only once every nine months. Why not make a rare occasion, a rare occasion?
[CUT TO: Gildas kitchen. John Belushi, as her husband, has just finished his placenta casserole.]
John: Ummm. That was great. Lets have Placenta Helper every night.
Gilda: Oh, honey!