Skip to comments.Sequester Jester: Big Sis orders bagpipes for 'Homeland Security' (Bagpipe and Drum Supplies)
Posted on 04/10/2013 11:33:33 PM PDT by Jet Jaguar
77--Bagpipe and Drum Supplies Solicitation Number: PR20074261 Agency: Department of Homeland Security Office: Customs and Border Protection Location: Procurement Directorate - DC
This is a combined synopsis/solicitation for commercial items prepared in accordance with the format in FAR Subpart 12.6, as supplemented with additional information included in this notice.The solicitation number is PR20074261 and is issued as an invitation for bids (IFB), unless otherwise indicated herein.The solicitation document and incorporated provisions and clauses are those in effect through Federal Acquisition Circular FAC 2005-66. The associated North American Industrial Classification System (NAICS) code for this procurement is 339992 with a small business size standard of 500.00 employees.This requirement is a [ Small Business ] set-aside and only qualified offerors may submit bids.The solicitation pricing on www.FedBid.com will start on the date this solicitation is posted and will end on 2013-04-17 11:30:00.0 Eastern Time or as otherwise displayed at www.FedBid.com.FOB Destination shall be Washington, DC 20229
The DHS Customs and Border Protection requires the following items, Brand Name or Equal, to the following: LI 001: Carbon Bagpipe Drone Reed Set, 5, EA; LI 002: Bagpipe Chanter Reeds-Easy, 12, EA; LI 003: Bagpipe Chanter Reeds-Medium, 12, EA; LI 004: Deluxe Bagpipe Bag Covers w/ Non-slip Grap Patch and Zipper, 5, EA; LI 005: Drone Cords, 5, EA; LI 006: Highland Bagpipe Tuner and Metronome with cases, 2, EA; LI 007: Combination Tuner and Metronome, 6, EA; LI 008: Black Polypenco Bagpipes w/ cases, 10, EA; LI 009: Polypenco Bagpipe Chanter, 10, EA; LI 010: Bellows Blown Blackwood Smallpipes in "A" w/ cases, 4, EA; LI 011: Black waxed bagpipe hemp, 4, EA; LI 012: Real Beeswax, 4, EA; LI 013: Long Polypenco Practice Chanters, 10, EA; LI 014: Bagpipe Tutor Book - VOL 1 C.O.P., 10, EA; LI 015: Practice Chanter Reed, 10, EA; LI 016: Rol of Pipe Bag Tie-In cord, 2, EA; LI 017: Tapered Reamer, 1, EA; LI 018: PiobMaster 2.3 CD ROM-Bagpipe music writing software, 1, EA; LI 019: Pipe Band Base Drum Carrier, 2, EA; LI 020: Folding Bass Drum Stand, 1, EA; LI 021: Inverness Rain Cape, 14, EA; LI 022: Glengarry Plain, 15, EA; LI 023: Snare Drum Stand, 4, EA; LI 024: Pipe Band Snare Drums-Black, 4, EA; LI 025: Snare Carrier-Silver, 4, EA; LI 026: 16" x 12" Pipe Band Tenor Drum, 4, EA; LI 027: 18" Bodhran Pack w/ Beater, 4, EA; LI 028: Deluxe triple function drum sling, 2, EA; LI 029: Heavy Duty Tenor Drum leg rest, 2, EA; LI 030: Drum-Mount Snare Drum stick bag, 4, EA; LI 031: Heavy Duty Drum Key, 2, EA; LI 032: Short Black Classic Tenor Mallets, 3, EA; LI 033: Black Bass Beaters, 2, EA; LI 034: TyFry Tenor Tutor Tenor Instruction DVD/CDROM, 1, EA; LI 035: Snare Stick Set, 10, EA; LI 036: Square Tenor/Snare Drum Case, 5, EA; LI 037: Spats Canvas-White, 20, EA; LI 038: Hose-Blue, 14, EA; LI 039: Flashes-Red, 14, EA; LI 040: Leather Day Sporrans-Black, 14, EA; LI 041: Horsehair Sporrans, 14, EA; LI 042: Sgian Dubhs, 14, EA; LI 043: Shipping/Handling/Delivery, 1, EA;
Proves she’s a gasbag...
Mexican sombreros would be more appropriate.
Line Item 017: Tapered Reamer, 1 EA
Don’t forget, the USCG is part of “Homeland Security” now: http://www.uscgpipeband.org
Having to listen to bagpipes is worse than water boarding! Personally I’d rather be shot by one of those 40 cal hollow points than have to listen to a screeching windbag like Napalitano. Pun intended.
LI 031 Black Bass Beaters. Would go well with the tapered reamer.
Janet is planning something kinky.
If Big Sis can’t get under some poor guy’s kilt with that Tapered Reamer, all she has to do is yank his Non-slip Grap Patch and Zipper.
Kinder, gentler interrogations, and leaves no mark.
This is very interesting.
So Zero *is* bulding DHS into a personal Praetorian thing, with Parade units?
Remember who else had an obsession with scottish parade finery?
There’s got to be a Weiner joke in here someplace.
“Remember who else had an obsession with scottish parade finery?”
A lot of similarities but our brief-a$$ resident will need to eat a few more of his subjects to fit into Idi’s trousers.
This sounds like they (Hopefully) will be purchasing Red Uniforms and when they come for ‘our guns’ they will march through the woods and fields in columns, with pipers and drummers in all their finery marking cadence.
It worked once before so it should work again.
(For US, the Patriots, not the Red Coats)
Bagpipes? Hmmmm Must be planning a bunch of funerals...
I hope we are wrong.
“Remember who else had an obsession with scottish parade finery?
Liked to eat liver too.
Instead of shooting the American People.She can torture them instead using bagpipes.
I couldn’t think of a bigger waste of money.Like homeland security really needs bagpipes to boost its oversized ego.
I think strategically placed bagpipes along the border would effectively reduce illegal immigration. Guns and bullets are only a threat, the sound of a bagpipe is real!
Hmm....spats, blue hose, leather day sporrans, horsehair sporrans, and Sgian Dubhs. No other Scots clothing. Sounds like one kinky full Monty pipe and drum corps.
My first thought as well...
Well, this explains why I haven’t seen any bagpipes on the ammo shelves at the stores.
—— Black Bass Beaters-—
That may be the exclamation point. I thought the same thing. Lets see if they are hiring chaplains. May we are going to get started soon.
Homeland Insecurity already has a bag. Just shove a pipe in her.
She’s already the #1 (beating out Hillary and Rozie) promoter of Snap-On-Tools.
order’s been pulled now, via drudge.
THANKS for posting this monument to their lack of perspective.
The list, Ping
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Aye, it was.
“if you want to play in the Texas, you gotta have a bagpipe in the band...”