Just speaking from personal experience and extensive conversations with perhaps one hundred other parents whose kids got killed in combat, it takes 2-3 years to come around a bit. Maybe four years and the clothes fit, thought not well.
My kiddo was not in the military but was killed in an auto accident 10 years ago and I still feel the loss as much as if it were yesterday. Perhaps it is because of the unnatural suddenness with which some deaths occur. I also work in the mental health field. IMO, there is a huge difference between sadness, depression and grief. Parents are not supposed to bury their children and must reach within themselves with God’s help to find a way to cope with such a tremendous loss. For some psychotherapy may be useful. I do not believe that anyone has the right or sufficient wisdom to interject their timeline on the healing process.
Many of us who are older are also grieving because of what is happening to our once great country. IMO one must suffer from a mental illness in order to be a liberal. Too bad for the rest of us that no pill has been manufactured yet to correct this pervasive condition.