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Why is there no national conversation about the divorce?
American Vision News ^ | December 18, 2012 | Joel McDurmon

Posted on 12/19/2012 7:57:02 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Amid all of the ridiculous politicization of the gun angle in the wake of Sandy Hook, and even a few calls for a national discussion on mental illness (one more back door for tyrannies, many), why is there so little discussion—or even mention—of what acquaintances of Adam Lanza are calling the turning point in his life: his parents’ divorce?

(Excerpt) Read more at americanvisionnews.com ...


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Editorial; Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: adamlanza; divorce; moralabsolutes; sandyhook

1 posted on 12/19/2012 7:57:11 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Conversation? About Divorce? Why?

You already have to get a permit and there is usually
a waiting period...


2 posted on 12/19/2012 8:00:27 PM PST by tet68 ( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks; wagglebee; little jeremiah

Divorce is part of the “new normmal” abnormality of moderen Americanism.

Those who are monogamus are sometimes referred to perjoratively as “still being on their FIRST marriage” as thought that was indicative of immaturity or a flawed character.


3 posted on 12/19/2012 8:15:13 PM PST by lightman (If the Patriarchate of the East held a state like the Vatican I would apply for political asylum.)
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To: tet68
And it's very costly in kilobucks.

I'm still happy with all of mine, and so are my kids.

/johnny

4 posted on 12/19/2012 8:18:41 PM PST by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I dunno.


5 posted on 12/19/2012 8:18:58 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
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To: tet68

I have appeared in hundreds of juvenile cases where kids were in trouble with the law. The one constant was this: out of all of these cases I can count on one hand the number of times that a kid lived with both of his biological parents. It is the elephant in the room.


6 posted on 12/19/2012 8:20:23 PM PST by Controlling Legal Authority
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To: tet68

I have appeared in hundreds of juvenile cases where kids were in trouble with the law. The one constant was this: out of all of these cases I can count on one hand the number of times that a kid lived with both of his biological parents. It is the elephant in the room.


7 posted on 12/19/2012 8:20:23 PM PST by Controlling Legal Authority
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Why would the left discuss divorce?
The destruction of the family (GOD'S order) is part of their
plan to create their ruling class.

Destroy the family and create slavery.
Right out of Antonio Gramsci’s playbook.

8 posted on 12/19/2012 8:21:41 PM PST by DaveTesla (You can fool some of the people some of the time......)
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To: Controlling Legal Authority; mgist; raptor22; victim soul; Isabel2010; Smokin' Joe; ...
I have appeared in hundreds of juvenile cases where kids were in trouble with the law. The one constant was this: out of all of these cases I can count on one hand the number of times that a kid lived with both of his biological parents. It is the elephant in the room.
Years ago I was on a citizens committee here and a new member joined who had just retired from the Juvenile Justice system. He said of the many thousands incarcerated in the system at his retirement, one of them - ONE OF THEM - was from an intact, original family.
9 posted on 12/19/2012 8:23:03 PM PST by narses
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To: Controlling Legal Authority; mgist; raptor22; victim soul; Isabel2010; Smokin' Joe; ...
I have appeared in hundreds of juvenile cases where kids were in trouble with the law. The one constant was this: out of all of these cases I can count on one hand the number of times that a kid lived with both of his biological parents. It is the elephant in the room.
Years ago I was on a citizens committee here and a new member joined who had just retired from the Juvenile Justice system. He said of the many thousands incarcerated in the system at his retirement, one of them - ONE OF THEM - was from an intact, original family.
10 posted on 12/19/2012 8:23:50 PM PST by narses
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Perhaps because Adam Lanza shot four rounds into the head in his mother, before he strolled out and massacred a large group of innocent children and women at a local elementary school.
BTW, he used his mothers legally registered guns.So far, none of the weapons were in his fathers name.

His parents have been divorced since 2009. His mother was not left destitute.
His older brother hasn't had contact with him for two years.

Are you starting to see a pattern here of why the family breakdown occurred yet?
Are you going to blame the father for this?

On what basis?

Can you possibly wait a few weeks for the local police force to gather all the possible relevant factual information, and present their conclusions first to the families of the dead victims, which include the other son and the former husband, before you cast aspersions against the father of the killer?

Who do you think you are?

11 posted on 12/19/2012 8:27:34 PM PST by sarasmom
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

The divorce happened when the “boy” was 17, almost 18. He was grown when it happened. He had his father when he was growing up so this is not an absent father case to blame this on.


12 posted on 12/19/2012 8:29:01 PM PST by Marcella (Prepping can save your life today. Galt is freedom.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

“Why is there no national conversation about the divorce?”

Because it would endanger the livelihood of millions of lawyers, psychologists, therapists, and counselors; it would actually free up space for criminal trials; in short, to return to the days when someone actually had to prove a marriage had failed (the modern divorce is no-fault) would be undesirable by those who profit from it.


13 posted on 12/19/2012 8:31:49 PM PST by GenXteacher (You have chosen dishonor to avoid war; you shall have war also.)
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To: Controlling Legal Authority; narses

My brother and I were raised by a single mother.

My father died when we were 5 and 2 and my mother never re-married.There was very little money.

What about people like us?

.


14 posted on 12/19/2012 8:38:45 PM PST by Mears
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To: Mears; Controlling Legal Authority

A fair question and the illustration of why this issue is ignored. The destructive nature of divorce is not universal, many of us (and yes my parents divorced) survive this horror.

The correlation of social harm to divorce is real, it is not total. Many of us victims of this evil survive and do well. But, some, a minority perhaps, gravitate towards evil. Holloweird and the porn industry recruit almost exclusively from our demographic cohort, as does organized crime. Why?


15 posted on 12/19/2012 8:46:16 PM PST by narses
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To: sarasmom

Who do you think you are?

Actually, it’s a very common-sense question: Would this kid have been so uncontrolled if his father had been living in the house, and not just a single woman?


16 posted on 12/19/2012 8:49:17 PM PST by WilliamIII
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To: Marcella

this is not an absent father case to blame this on.

Sorry, but you had a young man out of control, living with a single mother. You really think the dynamics would be the same in a household that had a man in it? You don’t think there would have been some push-back on his behavior if a man had been in the house?


17 posted on 12/19/2012 8:51:31 PM PST by WilliamIII
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To: Mears

People like you know their parents love/loved each other.

The issue for kids is do their parents love each other, they just don’t have the vocabulary to express it. Actually, I recall and believe one study which showed that adult children take the divorce of their parents later in life, that is when the parents divorce after the kids are grown, the kids take it much worse.

Divorced parents can do their best by focusing on the kids’ lack of an intact marriage of their parents, by, well, admitting that that’s the problem.

Kids do well when the parent they live with respects family life, marriage and surrounds the children/ family with healthy families and marriages so the kids at least can have a role model for themselves and not dwell.

All of that is taken care of in a case of widowhood, a relatively natural occurence.

Humble opinion based on observation.


18 posted on 12/19/2012 8:52:55 PM PST by stanne
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To: narses

Holloweird and the porn industry recruit almost exclusively from our demographic cohort,

The Jerry Sanduskys of the world, too.


19 posted on 12/19/2012 8:53:10 PM PST by WilliamIII
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To: Marcella
He had his father when he was growing up so this is not an absent father case to blame this on.
You assume facts not presented. A divorce is the end, during the prior years, where was dad? His million dollar a year job did not come cheap perhaps.
20 posted on 12/19/2012 8:53:56 PM PST by narses
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To: Mears

Mears, I argue that your case is different because you probably still had the influence of your father in your household under those circumstances. Without knowing you personally, and assuming you are normal, that’s my assertion.


21 posted on 12/19/2012 8:57:34 PM PST by Dr. Pritchett
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To: sarasmom

For whatever it is worth, at least the accomplice (the mother who bought the guns and trained the shooter) didn’t survive the fallout. Small comfort to the families of the real victims, but in the northeast accomplices (or murderers themselves) don’t normally get sentenced to death; this one did.


22 posted on 12/19/2012 8:58:25 PM PST by kearnyirish2 (Affirmative action is economic war against white males (and therefore white families).)
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To: WilliamIII

Indeed, all of the deviants do.


23 posted on 12/19/2012 8:58:35 PM PST by narses
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To: sarasmom
otoh, why is there such criticism of the mother?....she was a good person by all accounts even the family of her ex's....the murderer on his own stopped seeing his own father a couple of years ago....he was estranged from his own brother....

the mother didn't dump the kid in a mental hospital at age 6....by all accounts she tried to keep her son protected yet encouraged him to get out and about....

this murderer was seriously deranged and evil....period....

he btw was barely talking to his mother the last few days before his rampage.....so he himself stopped seeing his own father, and he himself stopped seeing his own brother and he himself stopped talking to his own mother, in who's house he lived....

can we all just understand that this murderer was totally mentally dysfunctional.....end of story....

24 posted on 12/19/2012 9:00:05 PM PST by cherry
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To: sarasmom

where does the father live and where does he work?


25 posted on 12/19/2012 9:00:31 PM PST by malia
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To: Controlling Legal Authority

“I can count on one hand the number of times that a kid lived with both of his biological parents. It is the elephant in the room.”

Actually this was widely discussed in terms of the prison population for several years; even Je$$e Jackson used to lecture young blacks about it (until he had his own “love child” and had to abdicate the throne to Al Sharpton as “King Of All Blacks”).


26 posted on 12/19/2012 9:00:42 PM PST by kearnyirish2 (Affirmative action is economic war against white males (and therefore white families).)
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To: Mears

“My father died when we were 5 and 2 and my mother never re-married.There was very little money.”

You did not have the very real issues that divorce brings. Yes you had a great trauma, but it was not one that would lead you and your siblings to blame yourself. Divorce is a particularly nasty and evil trauma. Poverty and the loss of a parent are also very real traumas, but they are different from that of divorce.


27 posted on 12/19/2012 9:01:45 PM PST by narses
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
when something like this happens we try to use logic to explain the illogical and try to make some sense of something that makes no sense at all and form some kind of solution or remedy

there are no answers , no solutions, no remedies

only grief

its hard to believe Adam Lanza was once a kid

dont click here unless you need a good cry

28 posted on 12/19/2012 9:08:20 PM PST by KTM rider ( , you'd be lucky to get= $7....LOL !)
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To: sarasmom; Marcella

Though not confirmed, as so much in this story, I have read that his parents had actually been separated since 2001.

Still, I believe a number of this type of killer (e.g., Columbine) have come from intact families.


29 posted on 12/19/2012 9:12:50 PM PST by 9YearLurker
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Many people get divorces and their kids don’t go out and waste little children. This guy was nuts.


30 posted on 12/19/2012 9:28:56 PM PST by plain talk
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To: sarasmom

>> Are you going to blame the father for this?
>> On what basis?

It’s his spawn.


31 posted on 12/19/2012 9:40:54 PM PST by Gene Eric (Demoralization is a weapon of the enemy. Don't get it, don't spread it!)
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To: Mears

I have heard of a study that showed that children raised by a single parent due to the death of the other parent statistically turn about the same as do kids who grow up in a home with both parents. In my cases as best I remember both parents were still living.


32 posted on 12/19/2012 10:06:27 PM PST by Controlling Legal Authority
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To: Gene Eric

Wow. just watched the Bourne Legacy. They give this guy mind drugs and he shoots up the whole office and kills himself. In the movie they say the govt is developing these drugs. I know this movie is fiction..but is it? scary


33 posted on 12/19/2012 10:09:35 PM PST by ground_fog
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To: Controlling Legal Authority; Tolerance Sucks Rocks

There it is.


34 posted on 12/20/2012 1:00:00 AM PST by widdle_wabbit
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To: Controlling Legal Authority

...”I have appeared in hundreds of juvenile cases where kids were in trouble with the law. The one constant was this: out of all of these cases I can count on one hand the number of times that a kid lived with both of his biological parents. It is the elephant in the room.”...

Most of those who rule are not interested in the truth, have never learned wisdom, do not know history, and are most interested in control of American lives through government force. It is the age-old lust for personal aggrandizement and power. They would never look at something like divorce because many of them are divorced. Fear and lies are the
methods most commonly used to incite the masses. And, as always, they keep for themselves what they take from others. I totally agree with you that single Mom’s trying to rear children alone is a huge problem in this nation. Father’s, when you can find them, should be made to take responsibility, or else!


35 posted on 12/20/2012 1:04:24 AM PST by jazzlite (esat)
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To: Marcella

...”The divorce happened when the “boy” was 17, almost 18. He was grown when it happened. He had his father when he was growing up so this is not an absent father case to blame this on.”...

From what we have been told, the shooter’s problems were becoming worse..In situations where these problems are life long, when does the Father’s responsibility end? It is obvious that the Mother, alone, did not make the hard decisions in time to save her own life and those of his victims. Divorce is not easy on adult children, either. From my perspective of knowing lots of divorced people, it seems that adult children, in some cases, suffer as much as the young ones. In this case, we cannot make judgments on this father for he could have been in circumstances which would have made his close involvement impossible.


36 posted on 12/20/2012 1:18:26 AM PST by jazzlite (esat)
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To: Controlling Legal Authority

BIMGO!!! When I read a boy’s name that got into trouble, the mom almost ALWAYS has a DIFFERENT NAME!!! It TRULY is the elaphnt in the room!!


37 posted on 12/20/2012 1:46:32 AM PST by Ann Archy (ABORTION........the HUMAN sacrifice to the god of CONVENIENCE.)
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To: Ann Archy

“Why is there no national conversation about the divorce?”

...because without divorce, an entire industry of lawyers would dissolve.

However, I’ve read that, divorced or married, it’s the amount of parental conflict that is the determining factor for the child’s well-being.

But again, it goes back to the lawyer industry. The industry, and the waiting periods that serve to enhance that industry, push trouble couples away from dialogue, and toward inevitable, hostile separations and family breakups.


38 posted on 12/20/2012 2:06:38 AM PST by ReaganGeneration2
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

It’s pretty obvious.

No one wants the party to end, such that people have to face the music of their self-indulgence.

The American public all want to act like ill-bred adolescents with the folks out of the house and yet have it all come out all right in the end.

They can’t be bothered to accept the fact that moral choices have consequences.

“Ooooh, buzzkill, dude!”

So the society disintegrates before our eyes, and this sort of violent outbreak is one of many symptoms, if perhaps the most obvious in its immediate effect.


39 posted on 12/20/2012 2:15:17 AM PST by Jack Hammer
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

It’s right to push back at the gun control freaks who are trying to turn this horror to their advantage and take freedoms.

But maybe once we should stop playing their game: Looking for answers, reflexively blaming without knowing anything, seeking political or cultural agendas.

Should people of faith call it what it is? - This shooter was evil, souless, Godless, and infected by the devil.


40 posted on 12/20/2012 2:20:07 AM PST by ReaganGeneration2
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I agree about divorce.

Forget the obsessive playing of video games, the guns, the lack of friends, the isolation at home and at school. They were only symptoms of an worsening situation of a mentally disabled child and divorce denied the love and emotional security that all children need.

Without knowing all the facts, my opinion(and that's all I claim it is) and with hindsight it is clear this troubled young man and his mother didn't didn't get the help they needed..

This tragedy might have lessened, if not prevented if these “individuals” involved were part of an healthy, intact(dare I say Christian) family with all the love, support and attention that binds individuals together.

And not money, good healthcare insurance nor “comprehensive” government gun control will ever replace the bonds that a close knit family provides.

Just my opinion and it's worth every penny paid for it.
41 posted on 12/20/2012 2:48:14 AM PST by RedMonqey ("Gun-free zones" equal "Target-rich environment.")
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I agree about divorce.

Forget the obsessive playing of video games, the guns, the lack of friends, the isolation at home and at school. They were only symptoms of an worsening situation of a mentally disabled child and divorce denied the love and emotional security that all children need.

Without knowing all the facts, my opinion(and that's all I claim it is) and with hindsight it is clear this troubled young man and his mother didn't didn't get the help they needed..

This tragedy might have lessened, if not prevented if these “individuals” involved were part of an healthy, intact(dare I say Christian) family with all the love, support and attention that binds individuals together.

And not money, good healthcare insurance nor “comprehensive” government gun control will ever replace the bonds that a close knit family provides.

Just my opinion and it's worth every penny paid for it.
42 posted on 12/20/2012 2:48:25 AM PST by RedMonqey ("Gun-free zones" equal "Target-rich environment.")
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To: Mears
My brother and I were raised by a single mother.My father died when we were 5 and 2 and my mother never re-married.There was very little money.

What about people like us?

 

Interesting is the fact that widows are the only group of single mothers to raise their kids as well as a two-parent family.  There must be something powerful about the memory of the father and the fact that the father's side of the family is not estranged from the mother. 

 

43 posted on 12/20/2012 6:33:14 AM PST by BJ1
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Comment #44 Removed by Moderator

To: BJ1

“There must be something powerful about the memory of the father and the fact that the father’s side of the family is not estranged from the mother. “

My father’s family was wonderful to us. My mother considered them her parents(her parents were in Canada).

I have very fond memories of my paternal grandparents,aunts,and uncles.

Thanks for reminding me of that. They’ve all been gone for many years.

.


45 posted on 12/20/2012 4:43:40 PM PST by Mears
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