Skip to comments.Our Kids Are Doomed. Give Them a Twinkie (Stop worrying about the future, there is none)
Posted on 11/17/2012 12:03:22 PM PST by SeekAndFind
Recently, nature punished us for our fossil fuel burning with hurricane Sandy; ask any science enthusiast, like Meghan McCain. Some people deny global warming exists, but that is foolish. Its been proven. It is settled science. Globes have been warmed in science labs. And now were getting hit with massive hurricanes because warming. Its science you dont have to understand it, you just have to fear it.
If we continue to pump carbon into the air, we will be hit by frequent hurricanes, flooding of the coasts, and men in white lab coats yelling at us and calling us dumb. Its a doomsday scenario, but can we realistically stop it? Probably not. I mean, look at how Mike Bloomberg flies around in a private plane and Al Gore sits around in a giant mansion that uses as much electricity as a small town, counting his carbon credit money. These are the people absolutely certain global warming is going to kill us, and they wont even change their lifestyles to fight it. So how in the world are the many people like me who actively despise the environment going to change their ways? I mean, I once stabbed a tree because I didnt like its attitude thats what I think of nature. So Im not going to change my light bulbs, recycle, or stop strangling owls in order to help the environment. And if those most concerned and those least concerned about the environment wont change their ways, then all those predictions of environmental doom are basically a foregone conclusion, and were all about to be overrun by angry penguins who shoot lasers from their eyes, or whatever it is scientists say global warming causes.
But thats not the only problem we face in the future. America has $16 trillion in debt, and that number only keeps rising every year. And we like to feint that were going to do something about it, but come on. Are people really ever going to be like, Oh, Ive had enough free stuff; you can cut those programs now? Nope. I mean, we just reelected President Obama. Were basically accelerating toward that fiscal cliff to see what happens. Well just keep paying for Social Security ponzi schemes, Big Bird, and Sandra Flukes sexual needs with money we dont have until the economy collapses in on itself under the weight of its debt like a beached whale. And then the next iPhone will be an Apple sticker on a tin can with a string. Made in China.
And thats why we need to stop worrying about the future: There is none. We have already destroyed it. The future our children can expect is one where global warming-caused super hurricanes slam them every other day while theyre too broke to even afford a tarp to cover themselves from the rain. And maybe theyll also get nuked by Iran. Thats why Michelle Obamas crusade for childrens health is so horrible. If you look at the facts, our children are basically the walking dead or with the obesity epidemic, the waddling dead so the least we can do is give them some frickin candy.
Also, why do we spend so much time and money educating our kids? The smarter they are, the better theyll comprehend the doom that awaits them, which is just another cruelty. Its time to just pat our stupid, obese children on the heads, give them some Twinkies to shove in their fat faces, and send them merrily on their way as they naively wait their imminent doom. And I guess we can take a few pictures of polar bears for them so theyll know what those looked like before they all drowned (and, frankly, I wont miss them, because theyre all very mean). And we can also take a picture of a Social Security check, as theyre not going to see that either, but it will be part of what ends them.
Now, some will argue that we shouldnt give up and need to prepare our kids for the future. Punch those people in the junk and yell at them for not listening to the science and the math. Yes, I know some people dont believe in global warming and others dont believe the fiscal cliff is a problem, but everyone tends to believe at least one of the two, so it should be a bipartisan belief that we are completely and utterly doomed and might as well give up. But there is no reason to look at that as a bad thing. If weve accepted that our future is already destroyed and that there is nothing we can do to change that, then well forget about trying to save things and live as comfortably as we can for as long as we can. We can now toss out those stupid, expensive CFL bulbs and put in some nice incandescents and tear down all those idiotic wind turbines blighting our views of the countryside. And we can come up with some new inventive ways to spend the money we dont have, like maybe have the federal government buy everyone a new car. So far, each citizens share of the national debt is over $50,000. It seems like we should at least get something fun for that.
And yes, well occasionally be sad when we see our dumb little porkers cramming french fries in their mouths, unaware of the destruction that soon awaits them. But hey, we tried. Well, we didnt really try that hard, as it really seemed like someone elses job to solve all that. Like the government. I dont know who is in charge of them.
So lets just have fun and wait for the end to come. At least well probably get a few more Star Wars movies before it hits.
Though they probably wont be any good.
Every since Sandy hit 2 weeks ago the north east has been averaging temps 10-15 deg F below “normal”. So Sandy caused by gloBULL warming(supposedly) is causing below normal temperatures?
This guy is a real hoot! Especially the rant about Twinkies & polar bears. Might as well enjoy some yuks as the world circles the drain.
Is that lower case “j” initial intentional?
“I once stabbed a tree because I didnt like its attitude thats what I think of nature.”
all cooler than average temperatures are mearly “local weather” while any big storms or hotter than average temperatures are caused by global warming!
get with the program!
.... the next iPhone will be an Apple sticker on a tin can with a string. Made in China.
No, no, no.
When weather supports what the climate scientists have been saying, that’s called “hard evidence of man-made climate change”.
When weather seems to contradict what climate scientists have been saying, that’s called “confusing climate and weather.”
Only weather conditions that seem to back up the Liberal agenda are evidence of anything.
The rest is just “weather”.
This. Post. Was. Awesome.
Are you some kind of maroon? It’s CLIMATE CHANGE!!!
I’m series - get yourself educated - or you WILL get educated.
“America has $16 trillion in debt, and that number only keeps rising every year.”
Well sure. Hot air rises, it is worse because of global warming, and thus our debt rises. Hmm - all the stuff rising (because of hot air and global warming) is reducing the weight on the tectonic plates, so obviously earthquakes ARE caused by global warming.