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Stunning Historical Discovery (What really started World War Two !!!)
National Review ^ | 10-1-2012 | Peter Kirsanow

Posted on 10/01/2012 2:10:41 PM PDT by smoothsailing

Stunning Historical Discovery

By Peter Kirsanow

October 1, 2012 4:15 P.M.

Cambridge, Mass.--- Celebrated historian Bertram Oxley has uncovered a memorandum from former Japanese Emperor Hirohito to Admiral Yamamoto dated December 6, 1941, showing that the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor was motivated by an offensive film made by Charlie Chaplin ridiculing Japanese cuisine.

“Contrary to historical accounts over the last seventy years,” Professor Oxley said in an interview today with the BBC, “What appeared to be a meticulously planned surprise attack was actually a spontaneous demonstration by moderate sushi connoisseurs in the Imperial Navy in response to a hateful and offensive movie. Thereafter, extremist elements within the Japanese military co-opted the spontaneous attack, transforming it into the overseas contingency operation sometimes referred to as ‘World War II.’”

The discovery has created a sensation in scholarly circles. “This is a remarkable find,” declared Reginald Smythe, chairman of the Progressive Historians Assocation and former Obama State Department official. “Had President Roosevelt condemned this movie — instead of uttering that infernal ‘Day of Infamy’ provocation — the war could have been avoided and millions of lives would have been saved.”

Reached at his home in Houston, former President George H. W. Bush, an aviator in the Pacific during the war, expressed skepticism. “It’s simply inconceivable that the Japanese First Air Fleet, with six aircraft carriers, could have staged a spur of the moment attack on an island thousands of nautical miles from the Japanese homeland with such stealth and precision.” Most experts dismissed Mr. Bush’s remarks, however, since it’s widely understood that World War II was primarily his son’s fault.

White House spokesman Jay Carney, asked this afternoon about the memo’s discovery stated, “Of course, hindsight’s 20-20. But one can only wonder how much pain and suffering could have been averted had FDR simply apologized to Hirohito at the outset.”

“Fortunately,” Carney continued, waving off questions from White House reporters anxious to return to questions about Mitt Romney’s grooming habits, “We’ve evolved to a more sophisticated strategy of leading from behind, so we’re unlikely to repeat the disastrous mistakes of the past.”


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: satire; wwii
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1 posted on 10/01/2012 2:10:43 PM PDT by smoothsailing
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To: smoothsailing

Splendid!


2 posted on 10/01/2012 2:14:06 PM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: smoothsailing

:-)


3 posted on 10/01/2012 2:14:14 PM PDT by mosaicwolf (Strength and Honor)
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To: smoothsailing

Somewhat out of order. Too many people lost their lives in WW II for it to be used for fun and bullcrap.


4 posted on 10/01/2012 2:15:54 PM PDT by ex-snook (without forgiveness there is no Christianity)
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To: smoothsailing

;)


5 posted on 10/01/2012 2:17:09 PM PDT by sr4402
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To: ex-snook

Too soon?


6 posted on 10/01/2012 2:20:44 PM PDT by sinsofsolarempirefan
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To: smoothsailing
What I would give to have a president who would say:

"You now, there's millions of violent, Islamic morons in the world who are too stupid to be allowed to breathe. We're stepping up our drone attacks and adding nuclear weapons to the payload. The world could do just fine without most of he people from the mideast save Israel. They can take that anyway they want, but if they want an apology, they can stick it where the sun doesn't shine."

7 posted on 10/01/2012 2:21:36 PM PDT by driftless2
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To: smoothsailing

I was sure this was from the Onion.


8 posted on 10/01/2012 2:24:54 PM PDT by originalbuckeye
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To: smoothsailing
LOL we didn't do PC in the 40s.

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9 posted on 10/01/2012 2:26:03 PM PDT by cripplecreek (What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his soul?)
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To: ex-snook

Oh, please.


10 posted on 10/01/2012 2:27:18 PM PDT by arrogantsob (The Disaster MUST Go. Sarah herself supports Romney.)
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To: smoothsailing
Sorry, just not buying into this one.

My grandmother said it best, stand for something or you will fall for anything.

This sounds rather, revisionist to me.

11 posted on 10/01/2012 2:27:40 PM PDT by exnavy (The time is upon us, fish or cut bait, may God guide your heart.)
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To: ex-snook

It’s not a “fun” piece. It’s bitter irony.


12 posted on 10/01/2012 2:28:18 PM PDT by Theo (May Christ be exalted above all.)
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To: ex-snook
I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings, but China and Japan are on the verge of shooting, every Sand Wog in the world hates the US Constitution, as well as 53% of the American public, Iran wants to nuke us, and is wearing out gas centrifuges trying to do so, Europe is 3 months from financial collapse, and we have a traitor president and federal government that is good with this.

We are going to WISH for the days when only 50 million died in a war, if anyone is still alive...

13 posted on 10/01/2012 2:29:20 PM PDT by jonascord (Democrats are the people on the Left Side of the IQ Bell Curve.)
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To: exnavy

Pssst, it’s satire.


14 posted on 10/01/2012 2:31:28 PM PDT by Fledermaus (Democrats are dangerous and evil. Republicans are just useful idiots.)
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To: smoothsailing

Gee. And all this while I believed that the war with Japan was due to the stupid FDR regime dictating to Britain that they sever their long-term relationship with Japan!


15 posted on 10/01/2012 2:33:51 PM PDT by IbJensen (Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.)
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To: Fledermaus

Pssssst, click the link, not satire.


16 posted on 10/01/2012 2:35:35 PM PDT by exnavy (The time is upon us, fish or cut bait, may God guide your heart.)
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To: smoothsailing

As long as we nuke them in the end I don’t care how it starts.


17 posted on 10/01/2012 2:38:05 PM PDT by Berlin_Freeper (Obama at the UN: The future must not belong to those who slander the prophet of Islam.)
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To: smoothsailing

18 posted on 10/01/2012 2:38:37 PM PDT by tomkat (counterattack)
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To: ex-snook

19 posted on 10/01/2012 2:39:54 PM PDT by smoothsailing
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To: driftless2

“You now, there’s millions of violent, Islamic morons in the world who are too stupid to be allowed to breathe. We’re stepping up our drone attacks and adding nuclear weapons to the payload. The world could do just fine without most of he people from the mideast save Israel. They can take that anyway they want, but if they want an apology, they can stick it where the sun doesn’t shine.”

We had better at least elect a president who is willing to take Islam at face value and act accordingly. The Muzzies tried this “world domination” trick a few centuries ago and failed. Now they have much better weaponry and less well-motivated adversaries (at least as of this moment). They are coming, and they’re coming for everyone who doesn’t buy into their peanut-sized brains idea that Mo Ham Head was something special. It a way, they act just like Democrats, our way, or else!


20 posted on 10/01/2012 2:44:35 PM PDT by vette6387
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