Dear Mr. Smith (ID# S187652432BAE),
There has been a recent change in your internet habits indicating that you may be suffering from depression. Your Mental Health Predictive Risk Indicator (MHPRI) has increased from a value of .55 to .83, which is indicative of depressive, aggressive or self-destructive tendencies. Please contact your local National Health Care Coordination Office (NHCCO) to arrange a visit with a mental health care professional. Please refer to Case# M982278222C.
Two months later, you decide it is time to get your conceal carry permit renewed. The application is denied with the message:
Dear Mr. Smith (ID# S187652432BAE),
Your request for a conceal carry permit has been denied. You have been flagged with a MHPRI that exceeds the guidelines for a conceal carry permit. There is an outstanding appointment requirement that must be fulfilled before your application can be processed. Refer to Case# M982278222C. Since you have not acted on this suggestion from the National Health Care Office (NHCO) after you fulfill that suggestion for counseling, you will then need set up an appointment to review your application in person with a National Firearms Registry tribunal board.
Then one day you get called into your boss's office, and he says:
"Winston, the National Work Fitness Office (NWFO) has send us a notification that, due to increasing incidents of road rage, all companies using nationally registered drivers must temporarily suspend without pay (pending an NHCO evaluation) drivers who have outstanding NHCO appointment suggestions with a category 2 flag. What? Er, I don't know what a category two flag means. Let me look it up. Hmm. That is a suggestion you seek mental health counseling. Really? Why didn't you notify us as regulations instruct you to when you got the initial request you contact the NHCCO so set up an appointment? This is serious. Look, other employees have put in anonymous cases on you for speaking against our diversity program and our plans for "Gay Love Week". This shows me you cannot be trusted...for all I know, you could be a hate-speech filled ticking time bomb, just waiting to bring an assault rifle into work to kill us. We are going to have to let you go..."
Well done, Sir.