Posted on 08/08/2010 4:22:14 PM PDT by NativeNewYorker
LOL, THAT is a keeper!!!!
A redhead, a brunette and a blonde (all pregnant) are in the obstetrician’s office waiting to see the doctor, the brunette says to the redhead, “what are you having?” and the redhead says “I’m having a GIRL because I was on TOP (giggle) and ‘in control’, how about you?
The brunette says “we’re having a boy, you know, traditional missionary position, my husband was on top” and the blonde starts crying her eyes out and wailing away...
The redhead and the brunette both say “what’s wrong honey? why are you crying?”
The blonde says “I’m having PUPPIES!!!!!!”
That’s Barbie!
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, “I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. “I just graduated from the University of Kentucky School of Law and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent.”
They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, “Well, I’m from “Mississippi State University” and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I’ll tell ya right now, ya’ll ain’t gonna electrocute nobody if you don’t plug this thing in.”
This isn’t a “blonde” joke but it gets to me every time I think of the last line.
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
“Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!” He slams the door and returns to bed.
“Who was that?” asked his wife.
“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.
“Did you help him?” she asks.
“No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!”
“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped get us going with a push? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too!”
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounring rain. He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”
“Yes,” comes back the answer.
“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where are you?” asks the husband.
“Over here on the swing set,” replied the drunk.
Back in the day ('98) she had quite a nude scene in a T&A movie Sheer Passion.
In between all of these blond jokes, I have a serious question:
How did that jerk get away with the $15M golden parachute in view of his for cause dismissal?
It’s BS like that that gives corporate America a bad name. You or I would be thrown out on our derriere.
She’s got underarms?
What did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant?
Are you sure it’s mine?
She’s 50 and can still ring the register!
maybe yours
She rang HP’s.
Somehow she just looks like the kind of gal that Billy J Clinton would love to know.
“
not guilty! just vindictive. I wonder what Hurd did to get her pissed off
“
Best guesses:
1. Hurd didn’t dump loads of gold at her front door
2. She didn’t become the next Mrs. Mark Hurd
“
She’s 50 yrs old now
“
Thanks to her settlement...she’ll soon look 30 years old.
Or like The Cat Woman (that lady that looks hideous after a long serious
of plastic surgery operations)
BUT...as The Banker Drysdale would say on The Beverly Hillbillies...
“Show me a person with a million dollars and I’ll show you a beautiful person!!!”
Interesting that some men just can’t give up the hunt. Like Clinton, he was elected POTUS and darn near threw it away for a Lewinsky.
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