Posted on 10/30/2009 11:49:20 AM PDT by Steelfish
Wal-Mart Starts Selling Coffins
The caskets can be dispatched to buyers within 48 hours The world's largest retailer, Wal-Mart, now plans to hold on to customers even after they die - by selling coffins.
Prices range from a "Mom" or "Dad Remembered" steel coffin for $895 (£540), to a bronze model at $2,899.
The retailer is allowing customers to plan ahead by paying for the caskets over 12 months for no interest. They can be dispatched within 48 hours. Catering for cradle-to-grave needs, Wal-Mart already sells everything from baby wear to engagement rings.
A spokesman for the supermarket giant, Ravi Jariwala, said the new coffin range was "a limited beta test to understand customer response". The retailer is offering caskets at prices that undercut many funeral homes, say correspondents.
But an industry spokesman said it was not unduly concerned about Wal-Mart's move, because he said the firm could not offer bereaved families the human touch.
(Excerpt) Read more at news.bbc.co.uk ...
“Cradle to grave” is a socialist concept. Wal-Mart is the superiority of the free market in action. I wish newspaper writers would try to understand the difference.
Okay, I’ll spell it out.
Government puts a gun to your head and says “agree with me or die.”
Wal-Mart lowers its prices and improves its services in the hope that you’ll willingly come back.
There. That’s not so hard, really. Now is it? Of course not. You reporters should think higher of yourselves.
When they open an embalming department I’ll switch to Target.
Hey, if there’s a market. Somebody’s gotta sell coffins, might as well be them.
Why do funeral homes get to run amok in their own little world? No reason to implicitly mock Walmart for stepping on their turf.
Rolling back prices for your deceased loved ones ping.
Oooooo!
Can I be buried under the floor in my favorite Wal Mart store?
Probably made in China. And Wal-Mart will continue to sell them until one of these coffins kills somebody, probably.
It’s BBC, therefore, I don’t believe it.
I believe that Costco has been selling them for some time...
Maybe they can put the crematory in the deli?!
How about out in the parking lot? That way you could be seen by all your friends as they come and go.
I was envisioning a baby crib that can convert into a toddler bed, a twin or a double-sized bed, and then finally a coffin. Lol!
Good for them. Now when are they going to start delivering medical care?
LOL!
Maybe in some sort of Lenin-like display.
That’s plain tacky.
“How about out in the parking lot? That way you could be seen by all your friends as they come and go.”
This might be a bit morbid, but with Halloween around the corner what the heck. As a kid I always imagined people being buried in speed bumps.
Will they have Extra-Wide for the “average” Wal-Mart shopper? Inquiring minds want to know.
Headline: Funeral home directors next to fail (thanks Wal Mart)
That’s gonna be a really depressing aisle.
Or the obscene guilt trip about not wanting $300 satin pillows...
From the nurse to the hearse.
from the basket to the casket.
That’s a million dollar idea right there!! LOL.
Is there anyone out there selling an unfinished pine box? That's what I want to be buried in.
It's bad enough my family will be in mourning. I don't want them bankrupt as well by the funeral industry .
I’m dying to have one!
You can get one of those at Home Depot.
...at prices to die for.
“Will they have Extra-Wide for the “average” Wal-Mart shopper? Inquiring minds want to know”.
...used piano cases. Aisle 6.
Actually, this shows great preplanning on the part of WalMart. If Cap & Tax and Obamacare go through, people will not only be just dying to buy their coffins, they will be dying in droves.
By the way, opening an embalming department shouldn’t worry anyone. They should worry when the euthanasia department opens.
“Is there anyone out there selling an unfinished pine box? That’s what I want to be buried in.”
Just feed me to Polar bears or squirrels..
Happy Halloween!
“The retailer is allowing customers to plan ahead by paying for the caskets over 12 months for no interest. They can be dispatched within 48 hours. Catering for cradle-to-grave needs, Wal-Mart already sells everything from baby wear to engagement rings.”
Now that’s a real “Layaway” plan.
Make your own
This Web site has easy-to-follow instructions for a simple coffin.
There are directions in Ernest Morgan's book "Dealing Creatively with Death," available through our bookstore or in most libraries.
Rockler Woodworking and Hardware has an excellent range of casket-building resources—plans, hinges, clasps, etc. Check out their web site.
Kent Casket Industries ships pine caskets overnight, anywhere in the U.S. The basic model costs $420 plus $47 for ground shipping or $139 for overnight to anywhere in the US. The pine caskets have no oils or varnishes, and come with rope handles. Shipped flat, they assemble easily. Order online at kentcasket.com, or call 888-534-7239.
Ark Wood Caskets
4860 Hwy 66
Ashland, OR 97520
888-482-7135
Web site
Simple, collapsible six-piece wood caskets. Ships flat. Goes together in 15 minutes. Dovetail construction; no dowels or nails. Rope handles. $599
Casket Kits
George Kinakin & Associates
Site 23 Comp. 24 RR#2
Nelson, BC V1L 5P5
Canada
250-354-4106
E-mail This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Solid pine kits complete with all hardware and bedding. Assemble in less than 1 hour. $450 U.S. Ship anywhere in mainland USA, between $35-$80. Discount for FCA members.
Let me know how it fits when you get it finished.
I was walking home alone late one night when I heard a.......
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP... behind me.
Walking faster I looked back, and made out the image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards me,
BUMP...
BUMP...
BUMP...
Terrified, the I begain to run toward my home, the coffin bouncing quickly behind me .
faster...
faster...
faster...
BUMP...
BUMP..
BUMP....
I ran up to my door, fumbled with my keys, opened the door, and rushed in, slammed and locked the door behind me.
However, the coffin crashed through my door, with the lid of the coffin clapping ...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
clappity-BUMP...
on my heels!
I Rushed upstairs to the bathroom where I locked myself in. My heart was pounding; my head was reeling; my breath was coming in sobbing gasps. .
With a loud CRASH the coffin started breaking down the door. Bumping and clapping towards me.
I screamed and reached for something heavy, anything ...
my hand came to rest on a large bottle of Robitussin.
Desperate, I threw the Robitussin as hard as I could at the apparition.
.... and ............. Finally ..........
.............the coffin stopped
Funny one, great for Hallow’s eve eve!!!
Boo to all!!!
I can’t stop laughing....
Mr. WCSP: "Why, certainly, Mr. Drill." (Checking coupon. Two bulky dudes in WM uniforms walk up) "Now just you go with Bobo and Billybob here. They'll take yer clothing and yer wallet and notify your next of kin."
BtD (panicking, grasped firmly in four meaty hands): "Waidamminud! I ain't dead yet!"
Mr. WCSP: "We're a full-service shop here at WalMart, Mr. Drill. This here coupon sez 'Expires today'"
Costco’s been selling coffins online already for more than 2 years:
http://www.costco.com/Common/Category.aspx?cat=20595&eCat=BC%7C20595&lang=en-US&whse=BC&topnav=
It’s the best green idea I’ve had my whole life.
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