Do you notice anything shrivelling?

MaCleans.CA ^ | 27 August 2009 | Mark Steyn

[JLS]

The other day CTV reported the astonishing statistic that in the whole of Canada there are just 33 sperm donors. That seems awfully low for a nation of 30 million people. Three sperm donors per province plus one per territory? Surely we can do better than that. All hands on deck!

[JLS]

Steyn on culture.

[JLS]

Steyn ping opportunity.

[RushIsMyTeddyBear]

Has Michelle Obama been visitin’ Canada?

[Bullish]

Do you notice anything shrivelling?

They have a little blue pill for that.

[perfect_rovian_storm]

I think this is the real title for the last article you posted.

[pissant]

I think Larry donated some to Obama.

[Pearls Before Swine]

Let’s not cry over spilt milk.

[I see my hands]

"All hands on deck"

W a r n i n g !

Coarseness Ahead. Highlight to read, do nothing to ignore.

Cool! second time in a week I get to use this story appropriately. Since we were kids my buddies and I have been laughing about:

All hands on dick!
Batten down the snatches!
Ankles away!

[MARTIAL MONK]

Little Willie sez he’s always happy to stand up for his country.

[Clintonfatigued]

Did Helen Thomas visit?

[Chode]

[Centurion2000]

All hands on deck!

I think Mark ran into a situation where spellcheck fails to catch his error.

[Cicero]

Some amusing stuff in the comments section, such as this:

What a distasteful, ignorant and disrespectful way to make an arguement. "...supposedly some First Nations thing"? Really, Mark? The language and tone of his article in relation to First Nations, homosexual and gender-diverse people was hateful, ignorant, self-serving, poorly informed and nuanced with racism, homophobia and transphobia.

What about biphobia?

[BreezyDog]

hahahahahahahahah!

[Viking2002]

I only donate the old-fashioned way - directly to the..........*AHEM*......... recipient of my largesse.

[delacoert]

All hands on deck!

:s/e/i/

[cripplecreek]

Well if I stand on the shore of the Detroit river and.....

[Dogfaced Soldier]

I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

[cripplecreek]

Oh Canada.

[RegulatorCountry]

I wonder what lack of anonymity and potential paternity issues, child support, etcetera, has to do with this?

Would I be interested in being on the hook financially, for some woman’s child, with a woman that I do not know and have never even met, and a child that I will never see, for the next eighteen years?

No.

[bleach]

This is one time I refuse to lend a hand.

[Salgak]

The CRM-114 Discriminators are enabled. .

[woofie]

I wish I had been a sperm donor in my teens...I could have gotten rich

[Candor7]

All hands on dick!>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.

I can't believe they wrote that.

Rabscuttle would be proud.

[Candor7]

Canadian emissions PING! I can't help but feeling that this about the law of supply and demand. Canadian women do not seem to need registered donors. And they don't have to pay for it.

[Yaelle]

I love him.

I just love him.

[OrangeHoof]

It should be no surprise that fertility and procreation in most Western nations is in decline when nobody’s entirely sure what gender they are or what they are supposed to do when encountering other sexual identities.

Seems pretty obvious why the muzzies, the Africans and the Latinos are breeding like weeds. They haven’t been reprogrammed by Ivy League educators.

[KosmicKitty]

Canada is cold.

We’ve all heard about “shrinkage”

Global warming should help.

[Yardstick]

Seriously. I find his offendedness offensive.

Amazing how liberals have a name for every species and subspecies of victimhood. They’re like botanists.

[Marie2]

I can’t support sperm donation. It’s like deliberately making orphans for $20.

[Wardenclyffe]

Auto CDCs to manuel teleflex link...

[Bernard Marx]

Steyn’s hilarious: “Canada’s future is in American hands” and “You wait and wait for a good sperm story then they all come at once.” And much more masterful double-entendre.

[terycarl]

it nseems mvery dangerous to me that only 33 sperm donors are fathering all the recipients in Canada.....sound like inbreeding to me

[Impy]

Well they don’t allow American satellite tv in Canada.

Maybe the clinics are only allowed to stock low-quality Canadian nudie mags?

Or maybe it’s just too cold up there.

[fieldmarshaldj]

Kleenex ?

*running away*

[fieldmarshaldj]

I’m willing for the lovely Canadian Kristin Kreuk to give me a hand.

[AZLiberty]

But issuers of passports, drivers’ licences, even birth certificates and no doubt one day U.S. Department of Homeland Security visas now defer to the principle of “self-identification.”

OK, I self-identify as a Canada goose. Now I don't have to pay taxes.

[Billthedrill]

Now that I've stopped laughing and have wiped my tears enough to read, my thanks for one of the funniest Steyn columns ever.

There are, of course, certain disadvantages to being a member of the privileged class - privileged at least insofar as shorter lifespans and subjection to military drafts goes - and hence disempowered from offering a humble interjection into the matter. But a certain reluctance to participate is understandable from the point of view of the fellow who's handed a twenty, a photo film canister, and a decade-old copy of Hustler magazine with the pages stuck together and told by his lesbian employers to retire to a room, fill the cup, and hit the road, secure in the knowledge that the next time he is likely to hear from his offspring is the child support hearings. Shrinkage is an understatement. A hearty "piss off, you nitwits!" is much more likely.

It is good, naturally, that citizens impatient with the plumbing that God gave them should explore identities normally not encountered outside the realm of a 50's science fiction pulp. But it does tend to be a little confusing to those of us who are unaccustomed to the ladies at the social club toward whom we were just occupied in the tender intricacies of courtship bellying up to the neighboring urinal, spitting therein with all the expertise of a mule-skinner, and making common conversation such as "Did I mention I was pre-op? Hey, nice package, Jack!" We are earnestly enjoined not to show our insensitivity by showing our sensitivity at such a delicate juncture. It does get confusing.

The real difficulty is the assumption that if there are no norms there will be no oppression. On the contrary, in the absence of social guidance what precipitates out is an enthusiastic and systematic oppression of anyone who is naive enough not to have cultivated a certain defensive perversion. Which is, Your Honor, why I was found nekkid with rubber boots on and a Batman mask in a kiddie pool full of lime jello. I didn't want the weirdos to get me.

[Sender]

[fanfan]

Thanks for the ping, Candor7.

Any volunteers?

[Candor7]

I am laughing at Steyn. Women in the USA need banks of volunteers.

Women in Canada go out and get their own.

Fairly obvious isn't it?

Women in the USA have far more percapita conception problems that women in Canada do, IMO.This may be due to the fact that US men shoot more blanks than Canadian men do, and/or that US womens reproductive health is sub standard.

Good thing the USA has all those feisty illegal aliens with anchor sperm eh?

LOL.

[knews_hound]

Pin Ping Ping to one of the funniest Steyn pieces I have ever read.

Please do not miss the comments at the end of the article for some more good laughs!

Thanks for the ping JLS !





On or off, please FReepmail me.

Cheers,

knewshound

knewshounds blog

[Lurker]

like some strange dystopian collaboration between Robert Heinlein and Russ Meyer set in a world divided into muff divers and duff donors.

Damn you Mark Steyn! You owe me a monitor!

[Liberty Valance]

still standing bump!

[colorado tanker]

This is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time.

[MaggieCarta]

Thanks, knews_hound!

[Slings and Arrows]

Women in the USA have far more percapita conception problems that women in Canada do, IMO.This may be due to the fact that US men shoot more blanks than Canadian men do, and/or that US womens reproductive health is sub standard.

Donut gets you a dollar it's because on average American women have their first child at a later age than Canadian women. (That's a guess rather than a statement of fact, but it seems like a reasonable guess.)

[listenhillary]

The comments were priceless. The confused are so easily offended.

[autumnraine]

“According to CTV, 80 per cent of Canadian women who conceive through donor sperm are getting it from the United States, mainly from men in Georgia and northern Florida. “

Holy cow!!! Canada will be filled up with gun loving conservatives in a decade or two!

[Candor7]

Agreed, after 15 to 20 years of birth control.