Yeah, but tequila's for when she really means business.
Posted on 07/26/2009 8:32:57 AM PDT by Schnucki
Researchers concluded that levels of sexual desire were higher in women who were moderate drinkers of red wine than in their counterparts who preferred other alcoholic drinks, or were teetotal.
One theory put forward by the team of Italian doctors who carried out the study is that chemical compounds found in red wine may improve sexual functioning by increasing blood flow to key areas of the body.
The researchers said: "While this finding needs to be interpreted with some caution, it nevertheless suggests a potential relationship between red wine consumption and better sexuality."
In the project, described as the first to examine red wine intake and women's sexual function, doctors at the University of Florence recruited 800 women aged 18 to 50. The women, none of whom had reported a sexual health problem, were split into three groups – those who regularly consumed one or two glasses of red wine a day, those who consumed less than one glass a day of any sort of wine or other alcohol, and those who were teetotal.
Women who drank more than two glasses a day were excluded from the study to avoid the possible confounding effects of drunkenness.
All participants completed a questionnaire, the Female Sexual Function Index, which is used by doctors to assess women and sexual health. It includes 19 questions with a total score range between two and 36, with higher scores meaning better functioning.
Overall the red wine drinkers scored an average of 27.3 points, compared to 25.9 for the less-frequent tipplers and 24.4 for the non-drinkers.
The researchers, who reported their findings in the Journal of Sexual Medicine last week, say the outcome is even more striking because the red wine drinkers were, on average, older than the other two groups, and age tends to be associated
(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...
Liquor is quicker
News you can use.
Hmmmmm-ply them with alcohol. Why didn’t I think of that??
this needs a “NO DUH” tag.
She was young. She was fair. She was new. She was nice.
She was pure. She was sweet, seventeen.
He was old. He was vile, no stranger to vice.
He was bad. He was base. He was mean....
He had slyly inviegled her up to his flat
to view his collection of.....stamps,
and he said as he hastened to put out the wine
his cigar, the cat.....and the lamps:
“Have some Madiera, m’dear?
You really have nothing to fear..
I don’t want to tempt you. That wouldn’t be right.
One shouldn’t drink spirits at this time of night.
Have some Madiera, m’dear.....
It’s really an excellent year.
I don’t care for Sherry, and one cannot drink Stout,
and Port is a wine I can well do without!
You see, it’s strictly a case of ‘Chacun a son GOUT....’
Have some Madiera, m’dear?”
Unaware of the wiles of the snake in the grass
And the fate of a maiden who topes.
She lowered her standards by raising her glass,
Her mind, her courage, and his hopes.
She sipped it. She drank it. She drained it. she did!
He quietly re-filled it again,
and he said, as he secretly carved one more notch
on the butt of his gold-handled cane....
“Have some Madiera, m’dear?
I have a small cask of it here...
and once it’s been opened, it won’t keep,
Finish it up; it will help you to...sleep.”
“Have some Madiera, m’dear?
It’s ever so much nicer than Beer!
Now if it were Gin you’d do wrong to say ‘yes’
the Evil gin does is hard to assess...
and, besides, it’s inclined to affect my Prowess....
Have some Madiera, m’dear?”
Then there flashed thru her mind what her mother had said
with her ante-pen-ultimate breath:
“Oh, my child, should you gaze on the wine that is red:
BE PREPARED FOR A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH!”
She let go the glass with a shy little cry. (eek!)
Crash! Tinkle! It fell to the floor.
When he said: “What in Heaven?” She made no reply.
Up her mind and in a dash for the door!
“Have some Madiera, m’dear?”
Rang out down the hall, loud and clear
in a tremulous voice that was filled with Despair
as she paused to take breath in the cool, midnight air...
“Have some Madiera, m’dear?......”
The words seemed to ring in her ear.
Until the next morning she woke up, in bed
with a smile on her lips, and an ache in her head,
and a BEARD at her earlobe which * tickled *, and said:
“Have some Madiera, m’dear?”
Liquor in the front. Poker in the rear?
Heck, I am heading to the store right away!
***Hmmmmm-ply them with alcohol. Why didn’t I think of that??***
I tried that with a girl once years ago. All she did was...Puke and puke and puke! She never drank wine again.
"One glass of wine I can feel it,
Two anyone can."
Hate wine.
Love women.
Decisions, decisions!
What's the margin of error....
Been a while since I heard Flanders & Swann :)
From an old Jeanie C Riley song...
Under the seat a bottle in a bag
Made to affect the senses,
He poured out a drink for Marty Grey,
and broke down her defenses.
Where do I get a government grant to conduct this sort of research? You know it was paid for with tax dollars...
Yeah, but tequila's for when she really means business.
Is that an average per day? Two every day or seven each on Friday and Saturday nights?
The Mercedes 380SL is a prime example of one such device.
P.J. O'Rourke
Sun rises in east.
Yeah, I was kinda wondering where all of the tequila posts were on this.
I prefer a good Asti.
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. (Ogden Nash)
Etchings also work well. Usually etchings of Benjamin Franklin. If you’re less picky, try Andrew Jackson.
There is much more to this funny report than meets the eye. Of course, it is the prime example of illogic; the classic post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacy. If red wine increases sexual desire in women (or does intoxication, or do more low libido girlies avoid the drink?)then the rooster crowing makes the sun come up, right?
What is not so funny is how associations like this suck in billions in public research money and then, lead to trillions in public spending, not to mention profound policy and cultural changes(global warming, oil drilling, food regulations, smoking laws, affirmative action, celebrex prohibition, gender equity...) Pseudo-science and big government together=crappy quality of life.
I don’t know about that. I’ve had amazing results with Tequilla.
What a delightful image. She looks like such a lovely person. Doubtless as sweet as pie when she gets loaded, too.
Been awhile since I had any madeira. I must amend that.
And this is news how?
Well there goes my gimlets ....
Obligatory.
There is a country song out there, forgot the singer.
“Tequila makes her clothes fall off”.
Spot on analysis. Post hoc ergo propter hoc is the core of junk science.
Candy is dandy but sex won’t rot your teeth. (’60s bumper sticker)
Well, DUH!
Come to think of it, I'm not altogether convinced that that's a "she".
Santa Damiana cigar, because ... no reason in particular.
There is not enough liquor in the galaxy.
Funded by the Italian wine industry?
“Last night we had a date, we stayed out late,
I bought round after round,
Just for you I played the fool, yes I was quite the clown,
Words were spoke, and hearts were broken but now I hope you see,
It was the whiskey talkin’, not me...
I didn’t mean to make a scene, it’s really not my style,
I raised some cain and called some names, I guess I got myself a little wild,
If I bragged too loud, and act too proud, don’t blame ol’ Jerry Lee,
It was the whiskey talkin’, not me...
I had myself a little splash, I said ‘you no good piece of trash’
Shot my mouth off through the night, but Lord my bark is bigger than my bite,
If lies were told, if I was bold, don’t take it personally,
It was the whiskey talkin’, not me...
At the bar I bucked and roared, picked a fight and I got floored,
Had a shot, got plumb insane, took every body’s name in vain,
But all that stuff is just a bluff, I wouldn’t hurt a flea,
It was the whiskey talkin’, not me...
The ol’ devil makes me do some things that take a lot of nerve,
How could I sass a gal like you, you’re more than I deserve!
Don’t you get upset, and please accept ol’ Killer’s apology,
It was the whiskey talkin’ not me...
It Was The Whiskey Talkin’ Not Me (1991)
- Jerry Lee Lewis (from the ‘Dick Tracy’ soundtrack)
I have always found tequila shots work well.
This was common knowledge at Nu Sigma Nu in ‘69.
Every generation has to learn anew.
That was splendid! I can only imagine how wonderful Tony Randall would be, as well. Thanks for posting.
Isn't that "candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker"?
Quaaludes always worked better than anything....they should bring them back and prescribe them for women who lost their drive...which does happen after a lot of kids and age and whatnot.
Men ..most anyhow...just seem to be machines except the collapsing testosterone rates in younger men today is alarming.
I think it’s proven alcohol makes women hornier and temporarily raises their own testosterone.
Women especially as they age are much more complicated about sex drive. If they want impregnation they will wear you out. Once they accomplish all that over the years, they wane...although a nice dinner and some gifts and really sucking up to them will get them frisky. Or sometimes for now reason they just get turned on....maybe they heard Roxy Music somewhere that day.
Note to young guys. Don’t believe the hype about a woman’s sex drive being off the charts after aged 40. I know scores of middle aged guys. I know one who will tell anyone his wife wants sex more than he does....and we guys talk a lot about the Nani....even as we age it still comes up a lot. Women may learn what they like better at that age and how to get pleased better but their drive is about like men....they are most kitten younger.
God make us biologically to procreate much younger than educated class folks do now. God did not make a woman’s body to wait to 30s and 40s...hence there is a reason young people are so driven.
So go get em....responsibly.
*women are very complicated and fickle creatures...especially the sought after pretty ones and men (me too) and our culture caters to them and makes them even worse in that regard than they are inherently....sometimes even good intentions can create the occasional Bette Davis hydra
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