Oh, Say Can You Sing It? (Mike Kinsley wants to replace the Star-Spangled Banner as National Anthem)

Washington Post ^ | 06/12/2009 | Michael Kinsley

[SeekAndFind]

In the Age of Karaoke, more people (including me) like to join in the singing when they strike up the national anthem at public occasions. No one can stop you, no matter how embarrassed she might be by your obvious lack of talent. It's always disappointing when you're invited to stand and enjoy some high school glee club or famous opera singer. But chances are that even the opera singer won't get it right.

"The Star-Spangled Banner" is notoriously unsingable. A professor of music, Caldwell Titcomb of Brandeis, pointed out years ago in the New Republic that its melody spans nearly two octaves, when most people are good for one octave, max. The first eight lines are one enormous sentence with subordinate clauses, leaving no really good place to take a breath. There are far too many mandatory leaps off the high board (". . . what so PROU-dly we hail . . .").

The melody is lifted from an old English drinking song. The lyrics are all about bombs and war and bloodshed -- and not in a good way. By the penultimate verse, the song has turned really nasty: "No refuge could save the hireling and slave/From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave." In the first verse -- the one we generally sing -- there is only one reference to any value commonly associated with America: "land of the free." By contrast, "home of the brave" is empty bravado. There is nothing in the American myth (let alone reality) to suggest that we are braver than anyone else.

No, "The Star-Spangled Banner" has got to go. The only question is, What should replace it? Here we have an embarrassment of riches. Let's review some of the candidates.

[SeekAndFind]

Some of his candidates :

* My Country 'Tis of thee

* Battle Hymn of the Republic

* America the Beautiful

* God Bless America

* This Land Is Your Land ( Woodie Guthrie )

* Born in the USA ( Bruce Springsteen )

[Slapshot68]

God Bless America is fine with me...plus it would piss off the Libs.

[pnh102]

Being from Maryland I proudly stand by “The Star Spangled Banner.”

[VaRepublican]

Uhhh, no!

[Kartographer]

How about Kumbaya? Of course there is the line ‘kumbaya my Lord’, but ‘Lord’ could be refering to ‘St. Obama’.

[LottieDah]

I love God Bless America as well. I love it when they sing it in my church.

[Cboldt]

How about that Barney the purple dinosaur song, “I love you, you love me ...”

[muawiyah]

Time for Kinsley to get out of the way of history. The Star Bangled Banner is about funny little foreign pukes attacking the United States.

It's a pledge to take the first blow and still get up and fight back.

If Kinsley doesn't like my thoughts on the matter I challenge him to a duel ~ pocket knives at 1 meter ~ 1 hand. Cut his guts out!

[Mr. Jazzy]

Yes, Michael wants to replace "The Star Spangled Banner" with his choice, a song of peace love and joy for all ...

"It's Raining Men!"

[fish hawk]

I’m totally surprised that Kinsley is still alive. He was suffering from acute stupidity the last I heard and thought it would have taken him by now.

[PalmettoMason]

Since everything else these days seems to be about the Obamas, in honor of Michelle, I nominate “Baby Got Back”.

[Czar]

Washington Post and Michael Kinsley.

Liberal anti-American scum.

What they think or say should be of no interest to loyal Americans.

[Anti-Bubba182]

It is good the Star-Spangled Banner is difficult to sing. That way only good singers usually try it. Karaoke idiots or Tanked up trash like Roseanne would screw up any song.

Karaoke is Japan's revenge for losing the war.

[GeronL]

They want to remake this country from the top to the bottom into something very different

[GeronL]

No way on Gods earth to the last 2

[HIDEK6]

If they'd stop this stupid-ass idea of trying to sing it acapella, it might be easier for the hoi poloi to sing along.

And regarding the breaths, I arranged this song for chorus and fixed the breathing problem.

[Little Pig]

Tradition says no.

But, he’s right. Musically, the Star Spangled Banner is a bit of a nightmare. America the Beautiful would be much more singable, though far less martial. I like the suggestion of the Battle Hymn, though it has little to do with America as a country. Plus, the difficulty of the SSB invites wannabe singing idols to ham it up as a way to avoid the wild jumps and leaps the music takes. Something more singable might remove the temptation to “improve” the anthem.

[indylindy]

I suggest that song from Mr Rogers Neighborhood.

Its a Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood

a plus because it is easy to sing

[Southside_Chicago_Republican]

Trash all of them. A new day requires a new song. How about that one in which O-BA-MA! O-BA-MA! is chanted over and over?

[Constitution Day]

* This Land Is Your Land ( Woodie Guthrie )

Great tune if you're a commie/socialist.

[ChicagahAl]

Liberals like the Battle Hymn of the Republic? I find that hard to believe, unless it's just for the purpose of sticking their finger in the eye of the South.

We don't need to worry, though. When Obama turns the US, Canada and Mexico into the Caliphate of the Americas, singing and music will be a violation of Sharia Law. So the point will be moot.

[Crolis]

While I like many of the songs on the list, I think we are doing just fine with The Star Spangled Banner. Not only does it have historical significance, but that it is a difficult song underscores the difficulties we’ve faced as a country, from securing our independence to forming a nation, to many wars.

For the record, I detest This Land is Your Land. I hated singing it in grade school and it is just a silly song.

[1010RD]

Given that the first eight lines end as a question, he needs to reread the subject of his articles or get a new professor.

[KarlInOhio]

With Obama's economic and social policies, I expect it will be The Internationale. Or else bring back the Soviet Union's anthem.

[WayneS]

Unfortunately (for us), many of its sufferers linger for YEARS; decades, even.

Case in point: one Edward Kennedy of Massachusetts).

[usmcobra]

I think my old tagline would interest you.

I sing karaoke the way it was meant to be sung, drunk, badly and in Japanese.

[agere_contra]

How about the “Team America” song?

[LonePalm]

Since 9/11, I only sing the fourth verse in public.
*************

O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav'n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: 'In God is our trust.'
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[AnAmericanMother]

Since when is the New Republic authority for anything, much less some music prof with a chip on his shoulder?

He really gives himself away in the second paragraph. What he objects to is not the music, it's the horrible nasty blood and . . . oh horrors! . . . WAR! And he has to slam Americans as not braver than anyone else. Bet a bunch of 'not braver' old guys from Anzio or Iwo could still punch his head.

Besides, he's factually wrong. TWO octaves? No way. At most it's an octave and four, and really all the action takes place within an octave and one. The so-called difficult leaps are a sixth or less.

The thing is, there's a TRICK to singing the SSB, once you know it you'll never have trouble with it again. Don't start (as is everybody's habit) with the first note in the middle of your range. Hum as LOW as you can comfortably sing, put the THIRD note there, then back up. You'll find you can hit the highest note in quite reasonable comfort.

[Big_Monkey]

""It's Raining Men!"

Written by Paul Schaeffer. See, everything connected to Letterman is pathetic.

[Kartographer]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91kdwxFsthI

That’s the TICKET!!!!!

[BJClinton]

The melody is lifted from an old English drinking song.

And that's a bad thing?

[Kartographer]

I think a drinking song is very appropriate considering what Obama is doing to the country!

[VaRepublican]

congrats on knowing there are more verses, just leave it the hell alone.

[dalereed]

Leaveit alone and make it a fellony to improvise like the so called professionals do in murdering it!

[Clemenza]

Let’s replace it with the Battle Hymn of the Republic then. That would piss off both the Southern Revisionists and the Left-Wing God haters (it references the book of Revelations)

[6323cd]

America the Beautiful would be much more singable, though far less martial.

I don't like the current national anthem one bit. It's only been "official" since 1931, so changing it wouldn't overturn some set-in-concrete rule, imho. It's always bothered me that it doesn't acknowledge the Creator at all.

Here are the full lyrics to "America the Beautiful", it's actually more martial than I realized.

O beautiful for spacious skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the fruited plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for pilgrim feet
Whose stern impassioned stress
A thoroughfare of freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God mend thine every flaw,
Confirm thy soul in self-control,
Thy liberty in law!

O beautiful for heroes proved
In liberating strife.
Who more than self their country loved
And mercy more than life!
America! America!
May God thy gold refine
Till all success be nobleness
And every gain divine!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

O beautiful for halcyon skies,
For amber waves of grain,
For purple mountain majesties
Above the enameled plain!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till souls wax fair as earth and air
And music-hearted sea!

O beautiful for pilgrims feet,
Whose stem impassioned stress
A thoroughfare for freedom beat
Across the wilderness!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till paths be wrought through
wilds of thought
By pilgrim foot and knee!

O beautiful for glory-tale
Of liberating strife
When once and twice,
for man's avail
Men lavished precious life!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till selfish gain no longer stain
The banner of the free!

O beautiful for patriot dream
That sees beyond the years
Thine alabaster cities gleam
Undimmed by human tears!
America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
Till nobler men keep once again
Thy whiter jubilee!

[murron]

I get major league goosebumps whenever I hear the Star Spangled Banner. The other songs are nice, but they just don’t cut it as our national anthem. As far as being difficult to sing, I’ve heard some very fine singers belt it out beautifully, even going one high note higher than what is written.

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

Whey do we need something we can sing? How About STARS AND STRIPES FOREVER!

I mentioned Woody Guthrie’s song on FR years ago. Only problem is he was a socialist.

I do like GOD BLESS AMERICA!

[COBOL2Java]

Living In America

Superhighways - coast to coast - easy takin' anywhere -
On the transcontinental overload
just slide behind the wheel.
How does it feel when there's no destination that's too far

And somewhere on the way
you might find out who you are.

Living in America - eye to eye - station to station.
Living in America - hand in hand - across the nation.
Living in America - got to have a celebration - rock my soul!

Smokestack - fatback - many miles of railroad track.
All-night radio keep on runnin' through your rock'n' roll soul.
All-night diners keep you awake
on a black coffee and a hard roll.
you might have to walk a fine line
you might take a hard line

But everybody's workin' overtime.

Living in America - eye to eye - station to station....

I live in America - I live in America - wait a minute -
you may not be lookin' for the promised land

But you might find it anyway.
Under one of those old familiar names like;
New Orleans - New Orleans
Detroit City - Detroit City

Dallas - Dallas
Pittsburgh P. A. - Pittsburgh P. A.

New York City - New York City
Kansas City - Kansas City


Atlanta - Atlanta.
Chicago and L. A.

Living in America - hit me - living in America - Iiving in America.
I live in America - staying alive - we'll make the prime.
I live in America - hey
I know what it means.


Living in America - hit me - eye to eye - station to station.
Living in America - so nice - would you better stop?
Living in America - I feel good!

[McGruff]

Michael Kinsley would probably prefer something by The Village People or Queen.

[Nonstatist]

If Kinsley and the white whine drinking atheistic Left dont like it, then it must be fine. Lets leave it as it is.

[Cheburashka]

Sing it. It doesn't matter if you sing it badly, it's better if you learn to sing it well, but sing it.

Isaac Asimov's Star-Spangled Banner Essay

R.I.P., Dr. Asimov.

[Babalu]

You are 100% musically and factually correct. It’s amazing how libs just won’t let facts get in the way of a B.S. story. It is indeed an octave plus a perfect fourth — but a lib wouldn’t recognize perfection if it bit them in the rear.

My music department chair and theory professors, both of whom have PhDs, would roll over laughing if they read this. Your solution to the “problem” with singing the SSB is spot on!!

Do you have a formal music education background? Sure sounds like it.

[Hildy]

Born in the USA is an anti-American song.

[marine86297]

My vote would be for “Dixie”

Or perhaps “Don’t Tread On Me” by Metallica.; )

[JimRed]

Lefties like Kinsley would prefer the Internationale, the old Commie anthem.

[RVN Airplane Driver]

How could a pussy like kinsey know anything about bravery? People like kinsey are why I believe in abortion in certain circumstances!

[Babalu]

Amen. I particularly get goose bumps and a lump in my throat when I see any of the military service bands (particuarly the Army band) peform it. It also makes my eyes misty when our flag is raised during the Olympic medal ceremonies.

[Kartographer]

Ok here my list:

The Republic of Kenya
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RRLLaq2VM8

Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BLi_m656tQQ

The Peoples Republic of China
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUaBmQf0flI

The Islamic Republic of Iran
http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=OFGL7gI9u_E&feature=PlayList&p=A03A67A48257EEC1&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=37

Islamic Call to Prayer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAvlimEYEpQ

Wild Card!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CImrIKNmBo
Please pick one!