Posted on 04/30/2009 6:33:58 PM PDT by Abakumov
Osama bin Laden is dead, according to Pakistan's President Asif Ali Zardari. This week he stunned the world with the exciting news that Pakistan's intelligence services have "obviously" concluded that bin Laden "does not exist any more, that he is dead."
(Excerpt) Read more at washingtontimes.com ...
He’s not dead, he’s merely pinin’ for the fjords.
He’s dead Jim.
0bama got him like he said he would. The wars are over. Yea!
Gettin’ my popcorn ready for this thread.......
Obama to take credit in 3,2,1...
BTW, does anyone else see the phrase “Pakistani intelligence” as a contradiction of terms?
Osama will send another audio tape confirming this soon.
Obama to take credit in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
Also, didn’t we hear news reports about him being dead already a few years ago — something about a funeral and everything?
Methinks he became a sticky pink mist several years ago and Pres. Bush decided not to let it out.
I’ve believed he was dead ever since Bhutto said it and then was assassinated.
Bush’s fault!!!...wait he’s dead...oh Way to go Obama. Wow what a fearless leader we have. /sarc
Obamas national security advisor now.....
The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here’s one.
The Dead Collector: That’ll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There’s your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m not dead.
The Dead Collector: ‘Ere, he says he’s not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m not.
The Dead Collector: He isn’t.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he’s very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn’t: I’m getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you’re not, you’ll be stone dead in a moment....
Here’s hopin’ he’s residing in hell. If he isn’t, obozo will surely invite him to stay in the Lincoln Bedroom in obozo’s attempts to make the terrorists like us.
About time!
welcome to free republic.
a newspaper editorial is not breaking news, unless it’s a new york times editorial announcing that they hve been wrong on absolutely everything since the beginning of time.
FYI
Great minds, and all that...
You beat me by 29 seconds! LOL
Huh...I thought he was up for a cabinet position in the nObama Administration.
But, is he really, most sincerely dead?
He’s dead again?
Like Fidel?
how convenient that Osama is dead right after Obama gets in office.
I guess the Swine Flu Got Em’
do we still “ping”?
I didn’t tag it breaking...
This is a job for Captain Obvious! Send up the signal!
Same here. He can prove me wrong anytime, but I have always thought he assumed room temperature long ago.
Even if we knew it, I would agree with the decision to keep it mum.
He’s not dead; he’s working at a Delaware 7-11. Biden buys coffee from him.
There's a 'BS' joke in there somewhere, but I'm too tired to think of one.
for a long time.
There you have it....
There you have it....not really
Bush’s fault.
Bush’s fault.
How many times have we heard this before?
When will the next Osama tape come out?
Nope. Even OBL couldn’t take listening to Obama for four more years. So Barry sent OBL an Ipod into Poh-ke-ston...pre-loaded with all his speaches. OBL listened for 5 minutes and offed himself. That’s my theory. LOL
Actually, that would be the end of the world.
Thanks for the ping RR.
Oh wait...was that Osama or...
Beat me by TEN SECONDS!
NOT
look at the breaking news column.
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT OSAMA!!
as stated by some one else - when Obama is found dead you can rest assured of one thing - the people to announce it will NOT be in the Pakistani govenment.
No. I think he’s recovering at a friends compound in Florida or possibly having an extended visit at Hugo’s palace :>}
A customer enters a pet shop.
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The owner does not respond.)
Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?
Owner: What do you mean "miss"?
Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Owner: We're closin' for lunch.
Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!
Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...(owner hits the cage)
Owner: There, he moved!
Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!
Owner: I never!!
Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!
Owner: I never, never did anything...
Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)
Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!
Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?
Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.
Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.
Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?
Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!
Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.(pause)
Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Owner: No no! 'E's pining!
Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!(pause)
Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Owner: I got a slug.
(pause)
Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?
Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Mr. Praline: Well.
(pause)
Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?
Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
Oh, btw, for Abakumov: welcome to FR
He was mowed down by Air Force One.
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