Why haven't we heard from Osama bin Laden?

CNN ^ | Wed November 19, 2008 | Peter Bergen

[Miss Behave]

"We haven’t heard from osamabama because he has a very bad case of worms."

OMG LOL, Migraine. I was going to say it's because he's taking a nap to to sleep off a big plate of delicious dirt.

But mine didn't really meet the mark. ;-)

Mine was more "George Costanza."

[ShiveringShegetz]

Osama bin Laden,unknown to most western reporters, decided to retire from the terrorism industry which had employed him for decades and opened a small pool hall in San Francisco, CA.

The left loves this place because the aroma of marijuana fills the room.

Osama bin Laden holds pool tournaments there once a month with a $20 entry fee. He even referees the matches to safeguard against fouls.

One thing that really enrages Osama bin Laden is when someone accidentally knocks over a pool stick because Osama’s pool hall has hardwood floors.

Two pool sticks being knocked over brings a smile to Osama’s face as he remembers his success on 11 September.

Before winning the election, Barack Obama would often visit this pool hall and shoot a few games of pool and eat a lot of barbecue wings.

[ElectricStrawberry]

....because he’s been dead for 5+ years?

[Edizzl79]

Osama has been dead for years. Anyone that thinks our military didn’t kill him yet voted for Obama. And Obama wants to find Osama cause he still owes him for that hooker at columbia.

[DAVEY CROCKETT]

with its references to Malcolm X might be considered somewhat surprising —

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interesting little tidbit

[CaribouCrossing]

“with its references to Malcolm X might be considered somewhat surprising —”

Yes, that is an “interesting little tidbit”. I thought the same thing when I read that sentence about Malcolm X. Perhaps Ayman al-Zawahiri brought up Malcolm X for a reason not apparent. A sly hint, of sorts, to Obama that we know what you know, and you’d better get with the program or we’ll spill your beans.

Nothing would surprise me at this point.

[cameraeye]

I agree with you. I have always said if he is alive he would have stood on the highest mountain and screamed “Jihad”. I hope his dinner in hell is cold!

[XR7]

Obvious Answer: Now that we have given in to him and elected his candidate, he can go back to his primary work of executing men if their beards aren't long enough, cutting off little boy's hands for kite-flying, and destroying 3000 year-old world-treasure artworks.

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World

Taliban prepares to blow up "offensive" statues

Friday, 2 March 2001 11:48

The ruling Taliban movement in Afghanistan is reported to be preparing to blow up two world-famous statues of Buddha in defiance of international protests. An Afghan news agency said that the Taliban were assembling explosives to blow up the two giant monuments at Bamiyan. Sources in the capital, Kabul, said that soldiers had already been firing cannon and mortars at the statues, which are about 1,500 years old.

The Taliban's Supreme Leader has ordered the destruction of all the country's statues on the grounds that effigies and idols are offensive to Islam. "Only Allah, the Almighty, deserves to be worshipped, not anyone or anything else," decreed Mulla Mohammad Omar, Taliban leader, an Islamic scholar who shuns most contact with non-Muslims.

Appeals to spare the Afghan statues have come from Buddhist, Christian and Muslim countries, including the Taliban's closest ally, Pakistan. France warned the leadership, which controls some 90% of Afghanistan and craves international recognition, that the move would not win any friends among the world's capitals. Foreign Ministry spokesperson, Bernard Valero, said that international opinion of the Taliban would not improve until they softened stances on terrorism, drugs, human and especially women's rights.

Advertisement

Story from RTÉ News:
http://www.rte.ie/news/2001/0302/afghanistan.html

"Under the laws of the Sharia, Mullah Omar ordered the statues to be destroyed.
These statues were worshipped by millions of people..."

VIDEO: The Destruction of Buddhas in Afghanistan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4O1gAjjfws&feature=related

[massgopguy]

I believe a Preditor Drone filmed his funeral in 2006 and we didn’t attck it because the Rules of Engagement deemed in a cemetary.

[stuartcr]

Maybe he doesn’t need to be alive anymore?

[XR7]

ping

[expatpat]

Nah, he’s been dead for quite a while...

[XR7]

Best online interactive game ever:

Bin Laden Liquors
http://www.usa2076.com/2armed/public/bllg.htm

WARNING
Very Addictive

[elpadre]

the worse it gets, the better he will look after January 20th.

could that be THE plan??

[TexasCajun]

If not, I bet a thermal image could detect the cave vents, then just pump your favorite toxin down the shoot.

[Paladin2]

"Malcolm X"

X was a good American because he was nominally a Muslim.

[HP8753]

Osama’s thermobaric enema in a cave near Tora Bora didn’t go well.The pile of gel left was quickly consumed by rats.

[patriciaruth]

We’re all dead, except Jim.

[Revolting cat!]

[patriciaruth]