Bank failures in Japan

SubPrime Times ^ | 10/9/08 | Gotno Cashi

[xcamel]

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK , uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after their pilot rescue plan crashed. Anime savings closed up shop after regulators accused the thrift of having a "cartoony" balance sheet. Company officials gane no rhyme or reason for Fist Hiku 's closure, other than and obscure referance to "financial jujitsu".

[Edgerunner]

Would you put money in Kamikaze Bank?

[gusopol3]

hahaha

[Xenophon450]

LOL

[bigheadfred]

Didn’t see any mention of Sushi bank. I think there is something fishy going on there, too.

[gusopol3]

they’re still trying to read the entrails at HariKari

[gusopol3]

this just in— Tojo’s in the tank

[Left2Right]

Heads are going to roll at Samurai bank.

[bigheadfred]

Looks like Mt. Fuji bank is headed for a meltdown.

[Notary Sojac]

Hello Kitty bank has been classified by the Japanese government as “too cute to fail”

[gusopol3]

Tokyo Rose is giving mixed signals

[Enterprise]

Taking a cue from gusopol3 and bigheadfred, I modified it a bit and sent it out in an E-Mail.

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on HBOS in the UK , uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 hours Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song, while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after their pilot rescue plan crashed. Anime savings closed up shop after regulators accused the thrift of having a "cartoony" balance sheet. Company officials gave no rhyme or reason for Fist Hiku's closure, other than and obscure reference to "financial jujitsu". Regulators said something smells fishy at the Sushi bank, and are still reading the entrails to try to find out what happened at Hara Kari LLC.

[novemberslady]

(:

[Notary Sojac]

Koi bank’s balance sheet is underwater.

[xcamel]

Samurai Bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

[Girlene]

LOL. Can you do something with godzilla?

[lilycicero]

It has put my feet in a real bind!!!

[Notary Sojac]

Benihana Bank has been cut to pieces, while Hentai Bank shareholders say “We’re f****d”.

[Girlene]

Godzilla Bank’s withdrawal from the subprime market flattens Tokyo housing sector.

[xcamel]

[bigheadfred]

Hiroshima and Nagasaki banks disappeared in a flash...

[bigheadfred]

Hiroshima and Nagasaki banks disappeared in a flash...

[Labyrinthos]

I heard that Sapporo Bank is down to its last gulp.

[Notary Sojac]

Geisha Bank’s asset valuations are now feared to have been made up.

[xcamel]

Good humor ping..

[Robert A. Cook, PE]

Ouch.

[sanchmo]

I like the post, although I suggest putting a “satire” tag or something in the headline next time.

just sayin’

[CholeraJoe]

I’ll probably be reprimanded for this one: Bukkake Savings just took it on the chin.

[bigheadfred]

They’ve been going down for a long time anyway...

[xcamel]

KEYWORDS: animeexpress; satire; Click to Add Keyword

[tanuki]

Godzilla Bank’s crash has left a big footprint on the financial scene, while the Gammera fund has unleashed a volcano of sell-offs. In other news, the Rhodan commodities index continues to soar...

[lilycicero]

Your Godzilla bank has been created.

[lilycicero]

I used to say Hiroshima and Nagasaki banks were da bomb.

[bigheadfred]

Banzai bank caught in the rundown—accused of over-charging...

[lilycicero]

Rice Patty savings had daily allowance.

[Girlene]

Hibachi bank executives were grilled by the Ministry of Finance over their lending practices.

[TexanToTheCore]

Kendo Bank announced sharp cuts. Kyudo LLC has hit the most recent targets.

[Camel Joe]

I would join in the laughter but we dared each other to check our 401k’s today and I’m the only one left in the office... Puke everywhere!

[bigheadfred]

HAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! Funniest one yet!!!

[lilycicero]

Karaoke Branch Savings ended on a sour note.

[lilycicero]

Shiseido Loans couldn’t makeup the loss.

[r9etb]

Godzilla Bank’s withdrawal from the subprime market flattens Tokyo housing sector.

Or... Godzilla Bank’s withdrawal from the subprime market flattens Tokyo housing sector, leading to the Mothra of all bank runs.

[bigheadfred]

Kabbuki bank paints on brave new face. Others calling it “Just an act”

[lilycicero]

The bankers were full of shitaki.

[Fraxinus]

The management claimed the books were eaten by mycelium.

[stevie_d_64]

Sushi Savings and Loan is still a bunch of bait to me...

[BooBoo1000]

I knew a Kamikazes Pilot in the Second World War, he flew 13 missions, said his heart was not in it.

[bert]

Here's a link

[stevie_d_64]

What a loser, if you can’t succeed at that job...Geesh, how hard could it have been...

;-)

[gusopol3]

that’s good; I was going to say Geisha was depending on its worldwide reputation for customer service.