How to Make a Senator Sweat(John Kerry)

BostonMagazine.com ^ | 8/25/08 | Joe Keohane

[GQuagmire]

..Kerry on a bad day is something to behold. The senator can, famously, radiate a sort of anti-charisma that doesn't repel so much as baffle. When he showed up in Lowell, the crowd instinctively pushed toward him, propelled by the electric charge people feel when they see someone famous. But then came the inevitable disappointment. Kerry was uncomfortable, not entirely engaged. His back-slapping was unconvincing. To denote exuberance, he clapped his hands—but just once. It looked as if he was trying to kill a fly.

[GQuagmire]

Some funny stuff here. Not a complete hit piece, but a few jabs nonetheless

[Sig Sauer P220]

He’s got the grace of Herman Munster.

[mountainlion]

I think that kerry is perfect. No one is better as a traitor than he!

[EagleUSA]

Kerry’s one great achievement that we must give him credit for, is his ability, as a professional gigolo, to score on rich skirts. I must grant him professional status in this regard....other than that, he is the normal north-east limo-liberal, totally useless and a traitorous bastard at that.

When reminding myself of what these socialist anti-Americans are all about, we must look back on Kerry’s early days -— Viet Nam phony, traitorous backstabber of our own military, Captain “Swiftboat”....he fits the mold of the sixties radical liberal very well.

If the guy ever had to take care of himself, he would starve to death.

[SJSAMPLE]

I heard he was in Vietnam, but I can’t seem to find anything about this ...

[GQuagmire]

He was in Vietnam?????

*snicker*

[JohnLongIsland]

I thought it was Cambodia.

[McKayopectate]

He’s got the grace of Herman Munster.

Add neck bolts, and you've got identical twins!

[OCC]

"that if Barack Obama wins, Kerry would like one of two jobs: secretary of state or secretary of defense. What people don't understand is that he's really got a shot at one, or both."

He's right, I don't understand. The thought of him in either position is terrifying!

[vietvet67]

[GQuagmire]

On a personal note, I’d prefer either one that have that assbag be my senator for God knows how long.

[evad]

To denote exuberance, he clapped his hands—but just once. It looked as if he was trying to kill a fly.

Marfan Syndrome does that to a person.

[riverdawg]

Fortunately, Kerry wouldn't take either SecState or SecDef in an Obama administration. Kerry is basically lazy, and a safe U.S. Senate seat is the perfect job for him.

[NonValueAdded]

Holy crap, the article says he has a good shot at SecState or SecDef under Obama???

[okie01]

Kerry would like one of two jobs: secretary of state or secretary of defense. What people don't understand is that he's really got a shot at one, or both."

Why, in heaven's name, would Kerry want either job?

For one thing, they might require actual work.

For another, defense and foreign affairs were the two areas Kerry was prepared to delegate to John McCain as a Vice-President.

All Kerry ever wanted from the Presidency was the White House address, the portrait and to have "Hail To The Chief" played for him.

[ImJustAnotherOkie]

The Dim’s talk about how smart he is. The guy is a moron ala Chauncy Gardner.

[wbill]

I heard he was in Vietnam.....well, I heard from a guy somewhere that he had three purple hearts. :-)

[billorites]

Let's pause here. Put yourself in John Kerry's shoes for a moment: Four years ago he was the toast of half the nation. He was giving rousing(ish) speeches to arenas filled with supporters. He was standing at the podium at the Fleet Center, balloons raining down around him, people screaming his name over thundering strains of Bruce Springsteen's "No Surrender." He got that close to being the most powerful man in the world. And now, in this grim room, in this grim town, he has to sit here and field dumb questions from Talk Radio Nation, and a handful of other people lazing around like bags of feed. It's hard to blame him for being listless. I'd be suicidal.

Snort, guffaw...

[Hoffer Rand]

That’s because he kept it under his hat for so many years...

[M203M4]

But being happy that a candidate appears to care is like being excited that the toilet flushed or the stairs didn't collapse as you went up them.

Gone are the days of the powerful toilets which flushed violently for approximately 30 minutes upon each push of the lever. I am frequently excited, nay ecstatic, that a modern toilet successfully flushes. Sometimes I feel like I am playing roulette.

As for politicians, most are so bad that I'd prefer most of them sat in a soundproof rubber room for their entire term, just as to not make things worse. I'd be happy then if they did care, did NOT care, or existed in some superposition of care and not care. I'm ready to elect a lump of coal.

[kromike]

He’s got the grace of Herman Munster.

Hey now, don't insult ol' Hermann by lumping him in w/ Jon Carry. Hermann may have been clumsy, but he has tons more of Personality Gravitas than that traitorous doofus from Massachusetts could ever buy with his wife's money.

;)